Until the End || Levi x Reader Insert Fanfiction

When the grief that came with losing your allies was silenced in the air, you let yourself wander into the ship. You found a bathroom and quickly rid of the blood that tainted the skin on your hands, washing your face as though it would wash away the reality of the events that occurred not even an hour ago. You look up. You are uninjured, and even the minor cuts and bruises you retained in your battles have since healed, but the tiredness in your eyes wouldn't fade. You knew no matter how hard you tried to look away from your past, the eyes of those you killed would always haunt you. Your deceased friends and comrades would always look to you, unable to rest until you all find the sense of peace you sought, over so many years. Survivor's guilt was common with being a Scout, and even those who had been through it all couldn't escape its clutches. You felt like you owed something after all the deaths you witnessed... all the lives you stripped away.

Before you knew it you were in the small halls of the boat once again standing before a door. Hange had told you Levi was resting there and you could only find yourself relieved that he was safe and well, remembering how Flock had been so close to destroying your sense of sanity when he aimed for the ship. Luckily Gabi had shot him before he did, and for that you were grateful. You do your best to put at least a neutral expression on your face as you take in a deep breath before opening the door quietly. Levi appears asleep, no doubt the weight of his injuries causing more physical turmoil than he would ever let on. You wanted nothing more than to take him away from the site of the battle and treat his injuries in a more subdued place, but you knew he was safest on this boat with the rest of you. Not to mention he would outright refuse to be left behind, after all, having him stay put whilst you fought the Jaegerists was a battle in itself.

You quietly take a seat on a chair next to his bed and sit silently, a frown tugging at your features as you sigh and rub your face weakly. Your eyes meet the floor and you put your face in your hands, unsure as to why your mind wouldn't let you rest. You had been doing this for years. For almost all of your life you have fought and killed, how were you so tortured now? You grew tired of your exhaustion. These past few days felt like the worst days of your life. It could be because of Levi's state, or it could be because Eren, a boy you all took under your wing is now committing mass genocide, it could be because now more than ever, freedom seems impossible. Everyone would likely oppose you even if you won against Eren, marked again as a devil, and if he did win and complete the rumbling, you would be opposed after having rejected Eren's ideals. It felt like everything you gave your life to and fought for was slowly being stripped away.

Unfortunately for you, your hopes to mask your mental storm were for naught as Levi had been awake since you entered the room. You should've known, after all, he might be injured but he was still humanity's strongest soldier, and his instincts and senses were still sharp as ever, especially when it came to you. He looked at you now, but his gaze was unnoticed as you kept looking downward unable to stop the stinging of tears in your eyes you refused to let fall. Levi watched your troubled state gripping harshly at your hair, fighting to keep your breaths even, and it broke his heart. You were the strongest person he knew of, and he knew the past few days had been hard on you. He despised his injuries at that moment; how he could not be with you in the battles you faced or shield you from danger; he couldn't keep you away from the ghosts that haunted you. Levi couldn't take your silent suffering any longer as he reached out, his bandaged hand touching your knee gently as you jumped at the contact, wide eyes meeting his as you realised, he was awake.

"L-Levi!" You say in shock as you force your composure on your face once again, but Levi has none of it as he gently tugs at your form. "Join me." He mutters drowsily as you look unsurely at his words. "I-" You swallow thickly as you meet your husband's kind but worried gaze. "I don't want to hurt you." You say softly but Levi shakes his head and gently pulls you onto the bed anyway. "Tch, don't be stupid," he says as you lie down next to his side, and he grasps one of your hands gently. You move carefully getting into a comfortable position and turn to your side to watch the side of his face. A long silence takes over before Levi speaks up once more and his eyes are to the ceiling as he speaks to you. "[y/n]... I'm sorry I can't give you what you need." He mutters softly and you feel your eyes brim with unshed tears once more as he turns to you in the prolonged silence of the room, but his concerned stare turns into quiet surprise as he sees you smiling at him gently.