Still With You ?

I"I... I am not fine," Jungkook said in a broken voice, tears flowing.

Jungkook harshly wiped his tears while saying, "No, no, Kook, don't cry. You shouldn't cry. I-I am f-fine," Jungkook said, trying to stop his tears but they wouldn't stop.

Jungkook's lips wobbled, he let out a loud sob, hid his face with his hands, and started crying. He was crying like this after years.

He curled up like a ball, crying hard. His body shook with each sob. "Why? Why? I d-don't want to live. P-please leave me alone. It's hurting a lot. All my body parts are hurting... especially my heart. I want to go to my e-eomma, I-I miss her a lot. B-because o-of me hy-hyungie d-died and e-eunie and noona is angry on me. I just wanted them to be happy, but they are also suffering still. Why did that monster have to do this? Wae? i am not fine. i dont want to feel pain. i want my noona and eomma, i want their comfort. i cant take it anymore, every single day it is like a nightmare. i miss them a lot. i want my family back.... p-p-please." Jungkook cried hard.

he may always have a cold face, but now he was crying like a baby who was asking for love and care.

is it too hard to give him the comfort he want?

He broke down completely just by hearing "Are you fine?". that one question after years made him broke down completely. he have'nt cried this hard for a while. but that only caring quesion from jin, who jungkook was hating made jk to open his emotion.

He cried and cried, at one point he started breathing heavily. He couldn't breathe properly, trying to calm himself. His whole body ached, especially his stomach.

With great difficulty, he sat up and took the glass of water. He drank slowly, trying to calm himself. After drinking water, he started taking deep breaths, but the tears still flowed.

He just sat there, leaning against the headboard, while tears was flowing, he didnt mind to wipe those. Suddenly, he felt a sharp pain in his head. He held his head tightly, "Ahh," he whimpered in pain. With the pain, some flashes came.

"Kookie hyungie will always be with you, we promise,"

"Your Jinnie hyungie, and Tae tae are there for you, Kook,"

"I love my hyungies a lot, a lot, they are my world,"

"Yoona, let's t-take hyungies to Italy pl-please."

Those flashes with blurred faces made Jungkook whimper more in pain, "Ahhhhh," he cried out. The flashes stopped, but the throb remained.

Jungkook felt something tickling in his nose. He touched his nose, only to see blood flowing. He gulped and wiped the blood with his hand. With great difficulty, he stood up and went to the washroom.

He saw the blood still flowing. He took a tissue and wiped it. After a few minutes, the bleeding stopped. He put the tissue in the dustbin.

He splashed water on his face, looking at his reflection—a face flushed red, eyes bloodshot. He clasped his lips.

"How pathetic he am, I was right, I'm a fucking useless, pathetic idiot," Jungkook muttered, fisting his hand. He went to his bed and lay down, thinking about the flashes he'd seen earlier.

"What were those?" he asked himself. "Were they memories or illusions?" he wondered. "Whatever, please don't come back, it hurts too much." A tear escaped his eye.

He picked up a photo frame from the drawer of the side table. It showed him, eunwoo, Hae-in, and Hye-suk, and a man older than jin was there, happy in the photo. (It was taken on jungkook's 16th birthday)