Gray's anatomy reverse

chapter 43

"Mark..." she started again, her voice softer this time, "You’ve been really thoughtful with all this. With the chocolate and everything."

Mark chuckled, his hand still holding hers. "It’s nothing, really. I just want you to feel like you’re taken care of. I know that sounds cheesy, but you’re important to me, Lex."

Lexie smiled, her heart warming as she glanced at him. His words soothed some of the lingering anxiety in her chest. Okay, maybe I’m overthinking things.

As they drove, the conversation shifted to lighter topics—plans for the week ahead, the cold weather, how to make the best of the snowy days. Every so often, Mark would throw a playful pet name her way. "You know, you’re my favorite little snowflake," he teased as the snow danced on the windshield.

Lexie rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide the small smile that tugged at her lips. "Stop it, you’re such a dork," she replied, nudging him gently.

"You love it," he shot back with a grin. "You know, I might just start calling you that more often."

Lexie snorted, her worries melting into the warmth of the car and the cozy atmosphere Mark created around her. "I think I’d prefer just Lexie, thanks," she said, still laughing.

As they continued driving through the snow, the tension that had once filled Lexie’s chest eased. She didn’t have to figure everything out right away. There would always be things to learn about each other—things that would keep their relationship growing. And as the snowflakes drifted around them, the warmth of the moment felt just right.

When they finally arrived home, Lexie stepped inside and took a deep breath, the familiar warmth and comfort of their apartment washing over her. Mark hung up their coats as she slipped off her boots, still feeling the weight of everything on her mind. The snowy drive back had left her with more questions than answers, and she couldn’t shake the mix of emotions stirring inside her.

Her conversation with Meredith replayed in her mind—their father, the man who’d been such a complicated, painful part of both their lives. Thatcher Grey had left so many wounds. Even though he was technically there during her childhood, he’d been absent in so many ways that counted. And with everything Meredith had gone through with him, it was clear the damage ran deep for both of them.

Lexie sighed, crossing her arms as she wandered into the kitchen. Mark joined her, sensing the tension still lingering. “Hey, what’s going on in that head of yours?”

She looked up at him, trying to muster a smile. “It’s just… a lot, you know? I keep thinking about what Meredith and I were talking about. Thatcher. We haven’t heard anything since he went into the hospital.”

Mark leaned against the counter, crossing his arms as he watched her. “Do you want to talk to someone at the hospital? I can go with you if you need support.”

She shook her head, hugging herself a little tighter. “I don’t know. Part of me… I don’t even know if I want to know. He’s this constant source of hurt for Meredith and me. He drank away any chance we had of a real relationship, and even now, he’s still just... not there for us.” Her voice faltered as the pain of it all finally started to rise to the surface.

Mark reached for her hand, pulling her gently into his arms. “I get it. Sometimes, family can bring out the worst in us, but you don’t have to carry all of that alone, Lex. If you need to know, even if it hurts, I’ll be there with you.”

Lexie felt herself relaxing slightly in his arms, grounding herself in his presence. “I don’t know if I want to forgive him or if I’m just… done. I know that sounds harsh, but I can’t keep putting myself through this constant cycle of disappointment.”

Mark nodded, understanding, his voice soft. “You’ve given him so many chances, and I know you’re just trying to protect yourself.”

She looked up at him, feeling a strange mixture of relief and guilt. She knew her father was sick, but she also knew she couldn’t keep letting him have this hold over her. Her whole life, she’d tried to be the dutiful daughter, the “good one,” but it had only ever left her feeling empty.

Lexie sighed, pulling away slightly to look out the window at the snow still falling outside. “Meredith’s hurt, too, but she always seemed… stronger about it. She could just leave things where they were. I’ve spent years trying to fix things with him, and I’m starting to think it’s just… not possible.”

Mark placed a reassuring hand on her back, rubbing gentle circles. “Mer has her own way of coping, but it doesn’t make what you feel any less valid, Lex. You’ve got to do what feels right for you, even if it’s letting go.”

Lexie’s eyes softened, a small weight lifting from her chest. “Thank you, Mark. Really. I think… I think I need some time to think about what I want from him, or if I want anything at all.”

Mark’s hand rubbed gentle circles on her back, grounding her as she spoke. She felt safe with him, but it was still difficult to let these feelings out. She’d spent so long burying them, trying to convince herself that she didn’t care about a man who barely cared about her or Meredith.

“He abandoned us,” she continued, her voice cracking slightly. “In one way or another, he just... left. For Meredith, it was walking out when she was just a kid. And for me, it was... I don’t know, like he never even tried to know me.”

Mark’s brow furrowed, and he tightened his arm around her. “That’s a lot to carry, Lex. And it’s not fair. None of it.”

She nodded, grateful for his steady presence. “It just hurts because even now, I keep hoping he’ll somehow show up sober, try to make things right. But I’m not sure he’s even capable of that. I don’t know why I keep expecting anything from him at all.”

“Because he’s your father,” Mark said softly. “Even if he let you down, there’s a part of you that wants him to try, to be the dad he should’ve been all along.”

Lexie closed her eyes, the weight of those words sinking in. “Yeah, I guess that’s it. I’ve spent years feeling like I wasn’t worth it to him—like Meredith and I didn’t matter enough for him to stick around or clean up his life.”

Mark brushed a strand of hair away from her face, his expression full of empathy. “You know, you and Meredith are more than enough. He just couldn’t see it. That’s on him, Lex, not on you.”

She looked up at him, her heart feeling a little lighter, if only because someone finally understood. Mark’s words were simple, but they reached the part of her that had long felt unloved, unwanted. “Thanks, Mark,” she whispered, her hand resting over his.

He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. “Always here for you.”

For the first time that night, Lexie let herself relax, her head resting on Mark’s shoulder as they sat quietly. It was a complicated pain, and she wasn’t sure it would ever fully go away, but having Mark beside her—knowing he’d be there to support her through all of it—made it feel a little less heavy.

After a few minutes, Mark looked down at her with a gentle smile. “Now, what do you say we go make those dairy-free chocolate cookies?”

Lexie smiled, the idea of something so simple and comforting pulling her out of the gloom. “Yeah, I’d like that.”