"Wala pa," he answered after a moment. "Hindi dahil sa hindi pa ako ready o hindi ko priority. Wala pa talaga."
I smirked. Single and ready to mingle ka na pala.
"Hindi pa dumadating?" tukso ko.
Tumingin siya sa akin. Natigilan siya ng ilang segundo pero maya-maya ay umiling din siya.
"Bakit ba interesadong interesado ka sa love life ko?" tanong niya sa akin.
Umiwas ako ng tingin at nagkibit-balikat sa kaniya.
"Curious lang ako," saad ko naman. "Mukha kasing hindi ka marunong magka-shota."
He scoffed at my remarks before letting out a chuckle.
"Ikaw, bakit wala kang girlfriend?" he asked back.
Napaisip ako. Yeah, damn. Ilang beses na akong nangialam sa kaniya, pero sarili ko mismo, hindi ko mapakialaman.
"Hindi ko alam."
"Hindi ka marunong?"
"I've never been in a serious relationship before," I answered in all honesty.
"Talaga?" he asked, his expression was filled with amusement. Parang gagamitin niya ang impormasyong iyon para asarin at gantihan ako. "Ano bang type mo?"
Muli akong hindi nakasagot. Tangina, pati type ko sa babae, hindi ko rin alam eh. Kailangan ba no'n? 'Di ba dapat kung kanino mo biglang naramdaman 'yong hudyat ng pagmamahal, 'yon na?
And in that moment, it hit me—that I'm actually not against homosexuality... or homo relationships. I mean, given that I have this belief that you should love whoever you feel that spark with, wouldn't it be contradictory for me to be homophobic? Because my belief doesn't just apply to heterosexuality.
"Ang tagal mong mag-isip," inip na utas ni Jaja. "Sobrang dami ba?"
I shook my head. "I'm thinking of nothing."
"Sus. Imposibleng wala kang type sa babae," pang-aasar niya.
"I don't have a type. I'll love whoever ignites that spark in me," I replied without hesitation.
Kumunot ang noo niya sa akin nang sulyapan niya ako. He was puzzled by my answer.
"Whoever, Jaja," I clarified.
Habang binabanggit ko 'yon ay malakas na kumakabog ang puso ko.
Did I just subtly admit to myself that I'm not limiting myself to loving women only? That I might be bisexual? Or am I just open to it?
Ah, putangina. I've never felt this way before. Kahit noong nasa Manila ako, hindi ako ganito.
It's not that I don't want to be bisexual... Kinakabahan lang ako kasi kung totoo nga, parang nabibigyan ko na rin ng rason kung bakit ako ganito tuwing nasa paligid si Jaja.
Putangina talaga! That... that is something I couldn't admit. 'Yong kay Jaja.
This is why I sometimes hate overthinking. Kung ano-ano ang nakukumpirma ko sa sarili ko.
"You seem nervous," he snapped. Bumalik ang atensyon ko sa kaniya. "I get your point."
Ako naman ang naguluhan.
"Hindi mo masabi nang maayos pero... naiintindihan ko. At alam ko kung anong gusto mong sabihin."
Tangina! Hindi ko nga maamin-amin sa sarili ko, tapos siya, naiintindihan niya?! Ganyan na ba siya kagaling?
"I'm just telling you how I feel," saad ko. "not what I feel. Naguguluhan pa ako."
"Oo nga. Gano'n talaga. May mali ba roon?"
BINABASA MO ANG
Memory Lane
Romance[BL STORY] STAND ALONE Suddenly, ghosts weren't the eerie creatures that lurked in the dark. They were the memories that slipped through your fingers, leaving only the cold, jagged edges of what's gone and never coming back. _ a rewritten version of...
Chapter 9
Magsimula sa umpisa
