something i'm not so proud of :PHAN: (tw)

*Song: Screen by twenty one pilots*

- dan -

Dan was not okay.

He was so far from okay.

It had been a week since the first time he had cut again, and he had cut every day since.

He hadn't kept any food that he ate in his system. He was fat enough.

He knew something was wrong. Something was very wrong with hating yourself so much you wish that you'd disappear.

But Dan just wanted to die.

~

Dan once again ended up in the bathroom, vomiting what little food he'd eaten back up.

After he'd finished rinsing his mouth with water, he poked at his stomach and sighed.

Still fat.

~
- phil -

Something was really off.

Something about Dan just... wasn't right.

He asked Dan if he was okay, but Dan just said "I'm fine." Phil could see that he was lying, but whenever he tried to get a real answer, it was just "I'm fine."

He could tell something was really wrong, and he was really worried. Dan had atarted running to the bathroom after every time he ate as soon as he thought he wasn't looking.

After Dan had settled down that day at the train station, Phil had asked him about everything that was happening. Slowly, Dan had started talking about his depression, his family not accepting him as bisexual, people at school finding out and bullying him, his depression worsening, developing bulimia, his suicide attempt, his continued suicidal thoughts, getting into YouTube, and liking Phil.

Dan had accidentally let slip that he had developed feelings for Phil, before his eyes widened, he closed his mouth, and he started crying. That was when Phil had pulled him into a kiss, the younger Brit being surprised for a moment before kissing back. Then, Phil had told Dan that he, too, was bisexual, and understood what it was like to have a family that wasn't accepting.

That was also the day that they had officially started dating, snd began their long-distance relationship. They had jumped at the chance to move in together, and Dan had just been getting happier and happier over time.

But now, Phil was worried that Dan was back to the way he was in 2009, ans he didn't know how to help him.

~
- Dan -
- One Week Later -

Dan was even worse.

He wanted to cut at his wrists, over the faded old scars you could only see if you looked at them the right way.

But he couldn't, because then Phil would find out.

And Dan had disappointed himself enough.

~ ~ ~
Sorry for the slow plot. It'll get faster next chapter.

Also, there is a lot of twenty one pilots, because:
1) I love twenty one pilots
2) their songs express lots of feelings in this story, and
3) I fucking love twenty one pilots.

~cas

edited 2/7/17