Random things I think about

Okay so people say that everyone has a /chapter/ they don't read out loud, but the thing is, it's not a chapter for some people. Some people don't just have a book, some people have an entire fucking series, with a Minnie series, and a side series, and then all those series have like over 10 books, so for those people, it's more like a book form each series and side series and Minnie series and all that. Because like, that's me. 

I hate when people say that everyone has a chapter they don't read out loud, and I need to learn that, because I "over share" like no, this is nothing, I have over 10 whole /books/ I don't read out loud, so shut the fuck up, like I don't want to hear it. Like if I wanted your opinion on the books I don't read out loud, then I would read them to you, but like I don't. So shut up, stop saying shit and being completely fucking stupid, thanks. 

And could teachers like not say that bullying stops if you ignore it and if you don't react, because like that's fucking bullshit. It doesn't stop. If you don't react then they get mad, they get mad because you don't react when everyone else does, so they keep going, and you try to be strong, and in front of the bully you are strong, but then when you're alone in your room at night, you cry yourself to sleep, and when one of your friends says something that addresses anything to do with the bully or anything they say, you break down, you cry, you sob, you want to die. And at one point or another you'll get to a point where the bully wont stop at the normal, because they're trying so hard to get a god damn stupid reaction that they will do or say anything, so you end up thinking about that on your way home from school, or when you're alone in your room, and you try to make that feeling, their words, go away, and you will do anything to find something, /anything/ that will make the pain go away, so you turn to cutting, or smoking, or drinking, or whatever else, maybe it's punching your walls, maybe it's punching yourself, maybe it's sex, it's whatever you can find that numbs the pain, and one day, they notice the cuts, bruises, liquor on your breath, the cigarette in your pocket, whatever it is that you do, and they target that, and you get to a point where not even that helps anymore, and you turn to the only thing that will for sure take everything away, suicide. You want to kill yourself, so you try, and you either end up in a mental hospital, or a fucking morgue. So please, tell me again that not reacting helps, tell me how it makes everything go away, tell me how it makes everything okay, tell me one or damn time. 

And just saying, love is a sham, it's not real, nothing to do with love is real, nothing. Not romantically anyways, cause, yeah, you love your family, but you love them because you're supposed to. And you love your friends, because they make you feel good about yourself, or they don't and you like that, you like the feeling that it gives you. But you never truly love someone romantically, because you don't love them at all, you love the things they do, the things that you like, the things that make you feel good, the things that make you feel special for a time, that's what you love, you don't love them. Now, don't get me wrong, you can be /in/ love with another human, but you can't just simply love them, because that's not how it works, if you're in love with someone then you don't love one thing about them, you love everything about them, you love their faults, their pluses, their just everything, you can't pinpoint what you love about them because you don't love anything about them, you're in love with their entire being, you don't love just one simple thing. You don't love anything about them, because you're in love with everything about them, it isn't something you can just point out, becaus ethat's not hiw it works. 

Imma post something on here, that was a convo between me and "friend" of mine. 

Her: hey u there

Me: what? 

her: are u at the game, duh no i stupid

Me: no, im not allowed to leave my house to go to mcdonalds, let alone the fucking game