Random things I think about

This has a lot of shit an u dont have to read if u dont want to b/c I get that.

her: true, i grounded too so i cant go because i beat my sister like i told u

*she* set the emoji to .
wtf u still thereFRI 8:56PMCaitlynn💀💀 

Me: No, *her name*, I wasn't there, I would've answered you, but I have shit of my own to deal with, I can't talk about how you couldn't go to a fucking football game tonight.

Her:  look, i sorry u have other shit to deal with, but if u do, maybe u could tell rovey it all like u so anyway. but dont start on me because u have other shit to deal with ok i sorry but if u want to get anything off ur chest, then like i said maybe u should tell rovey everything but dont come cring when she doesnt listn to u either

im doe with all of all of this shit goodbye caitlynn foreverand another thing if u just going to push us away when we try to see what is wrong with u then stop blowing up on us when u like this and keep it all inside and if the only person u going to tell is rovey then y should i even try with u anymore

Me: Look, you wouldn't understand, this has nothing to do with you, and I didn't blow up, I was just saying that I didn't have time yesterday, and I did tell Rovey, she's the only one that will understand wheat I was going through, the rest of you guys have no idea, and I don't intend to tell anyone other then Rovey. So, if you want, then give up, and you can tell everyone else I said this too, because I don't really care, it would honestly be better if you all give up on me, I'm not worth it anyways.

Her: ok then

we all have problems but u kept me happy and from comitting suicide so i am trying to keep u here like u did meso i sorry if i get in the way all the time and i sorry i cant help like rovey canbut u help me be happy so i just thought i could keep u like that too but it looks like i cantso i sorry im truly sorry

Me: This has nothing to do with you, or keeping me happy, it has nothing to do with any of that, just leave it be, you wouldn't understand, so just leave it be!

And I'm not going to commit suicide

Her: ok i will i never said u were i leave it be okay i sorry i leave u alone that what u want anyway so this is goodbye

Okay, so that was the conversation, and it pisses me off, because like, wtf? Why does everything have to be about her? I didn't want to tell her what was going on, like I said, she wouldn't have understood. And then she would've made it all about her, like I have actual real life problems going on rn (not going to say them because I have like 3 friends that are allowed to know, and I have other irl friends that are on here and could read this, so not gonna say what happened rn, but maybe in a later chapter or something) But like tf, can't she realize that not being able to go to a fucking football game isn't the end of the world? Like there are 3 and a half more years of high school football games for us to fucking go to, so she can stfu, that's not a real life real world problem, that's a problem privileged people have. They get all sad and cry over not being able to go to a damn high school football game, I live in the real world, I have real world problems and I don't have time for her little problems rn like I usually do. She needs to understand that, because like sometimes things aren't all about her, sometimes things have NOTHING TO DO WITH HER LIKE FUCKKKKK I honestly want to punch her in her fucking face, like she knows me, if I am putting myself first(more like my problems, because I never put myself first, I don't think I deserve anything at all, especially not to be put anywhere near first.) then I'm having a serious thing going on, it's not just nothing, but nope, she still had to make it about herself, like what the actual fuck?! Am I not allowed to put my sadness and my problems first? Of course not. Because I'm me and she's her and her stupid ass petty problems are above everyone else's because she's always more important. No one will ever be above her. Or at least in her eyes, when in reality, that's not the truth, she's a normal person, she's not above anyone, she's level with everyone else, and she needs to stop acting like everything is about her. It pisses me off because I and everyone else aren't allowed to have problems, and if they have them, they aren't allowed to be bigger then hers, and if they are, then she pretends that you're treating her like shit or she pretends like she doesn't know it exists, or she tries to find something from 12 years ago that's worse, which this problem I'm having makes her problems seem like they are fucking nothing. So she can shove her stupid problems she always talks about up her ass, like half or friends have daddy issues, get over yourself, my dad wanted nothing to do with me from the time he found out I existed, so shut up, no one cares, it's old, it's the same problem all the time, and yeah, I get it, I understand that that's big for her, but she doesn't need to compare everyone else's problems to her stupid fucking daddy issues. Yeah, we've heard a thousand times before that daddy left because your mom said he couldn't smoke weed anymore if he wanted to be with you. My dad didn't want me in the first place, then he chose horrible drugs, that are way worse then fucking weed, things that could actually kill him, over me, do you see me crying over it? Do you see me bringing it up every time someone talks about their problems? NOOOO! So fucking stop, it's stupid and pointless, crying over it isn't going to change his mind, it isn't going to make him come back, it isn't going to change that past, nothing is! So just stop, there is literally no reason to cry over it, or bring it up ever five minutes, not a single fucking reason, so stop. Just stop. And right about now I don't care if she sees this (she's on 抖阴社区 and follows me, so she very well might see this and I don't give a flying fuck!). I hope she sees it. I hope every one of our friends see it. Because this is literally what every one of our friends are thinking, I'm just the first one to ever write or say anything about it out loud, and I would say it again irl to her fucking face, because I don't give a single god damn fuck at all. I have no reason to. Like biiiitch! Please fucking stop. 

Also, about her, she acts like suicide is a joke or something? Like she always says she's gonna kill herself, she makes me worry and cry and be so god damn scared, because she wants the attention or something. Like she'll be like "I'm sorry, goodbye forever" or "don't worry if I'm not at school tomorrow/monday, cause I'm going to kill myself" and like then she's always there, whether anyone said anything to her about it or not, like she pisses me off. Last year she thought it was like cool or something to cut herself, like a lot of our friends cut (mind you it's because of our problems and we started before we knew each other, and if we did know each other when we started then we didn't know the other started until months later, which I started before I met any of them at all) and she thought it was like idk cool or something? Liek it was a fashion trend or something, like when someone in our friend group cut we all were notified, because we'd show each other, but we didn't show anyone outside our friend group, and the only reason they knew was wither a) because of the long sleeves or b) because we would tell each other, because we were just that close that we knew it wouldn't get to anyone else. But when she cut (the like maybe 2 or 3 times she did) she showed everyone, not just our little friend group, but like the whole grade, she would have it on display, like she can't say she doesn't know how to hide it, she's been around us long enough and she's seen how we hide it long enough that she knew how to fucking hide it. But anyways, a few of our friends have talked (more then we did last year) anout how we honestly want to die or kill ourselves (not that we're actually going to do it, we just say that we want to) so she constantly says how she is /going/ to, like stfu we both know you're not going to, good gods if I had a dollar for every time she said she was going to kill herself or cut herself or that she wasn't coming to school tommorrow/monday I would be fucking rich!!! It just pisses me off that she thinks this is some kind of fasion trend or something. 

Also, I swear to god if she ever acts like Rovey (@imissyoucaitlynn)did something wrong by being there for me again I will hurt her. Like what's her problem? Rovey is amazing and has been there for me for a lot, way more then she ever has. AND ROVEY DOESN'T MAKE EVERYTHING ABOUT HERSELF ALL THE FUCKING TIME! And when I talk to Rovey, she listens, she doesn't make it all about her, which is amazing, because she can always tell me about what she's gone through that's similar after I tell her what's going on, with that other girl she doesn't do that. She starts talking about this or that that's worse then what you're going through (which what I'm going through makes her shit sound pathetic) and most the time it's not worse then what you're going through, most the time it doesn't even fit on the radar of what you're going/have gone through! Like fuck me up! 

~ReallyKindaSuperHopeSheSeesThisBecauseI'mConfrontingHerAboutWhatSheSaidAboutRovey,ThatPissedMeOffSOMuch,Rovey'sNeverDoneAnythingToHerThatSheHasToBeABitchToHer,JustBecauseIlike/LoveRoveyMoreThenIWillEverLikeHerDoesn'tMeanSheHasTheRightToSayShit!