抖阴社区r's Block (Complete)

  After drowning my thoughts in a warm shower, I make a pot of coffee. I have this feeling that the party is going to go on all night, so no sleep for me. I was never really in the mood for a party tonight anyway. I just agreed so I would have help with my furniture.

Deciding that tricking Alex into my bed wasn't the best idea that Sabastian ever had, I open the door to his old bedroom intent on cleaning it out. The bags remain on the bed while I stare blankly at them sipping on my coffee, my mind drifting off into the past.

"Marry me Trina," Alex spits out without a thought or care in the world. He knows he loves me and that's his way of keeping me here.

"Alex I'm not ready to be a wife yet. I want to go to college and start my career before we get married."

Alex wraps his arms around me, while I look out the window at nothing really, just not ready to look at him. Yeah, I eventually plan on marrying him but what's the rush?

"If we're married your dad can't make you go away to school and if you still want to go I can go with you. Do you know that special provisions are sometimes made for students that are married or have a family?"

"You've done your homework for once," I kid. Alex has always been a great student and never had homework because he did it all at school.

"Alex, I'd be lying if I said that I was ready to run away and get married."

The tight grip that he once had on me loosened and fell away, making me turn to see him pacing the floor. "Are you falling out of love with me or do you want a fling with another guy while you're gone just to see what it's like?"

"No, Of course not, I don't want to lose you anymore than you want to lose me. I just don't think eloping is the answer. When we get married I want it to be something wonderful, not a sloppy wedding by a drunk in Reno."

"A lot of memories in there." Alex's voice pulls me back to today.

"Yeah." With a pivot and a side step I'm past him heading for another cup of coffee. I hear a click as he shuts the bedroom door and his footsteps walking away from the bedroom right before I feel his hand slip across my stomach as he pulls me against his hard chest. I close my eyes, breathing in letting the scent that is Alex fill my senses with saltwater and the faintest scent of a woodsy aftershave.

"What are you doing, Alex?" I ask, the smell off alcohol coming off his breath. I know I should just shut up, but the idea that he could ever regret being with me leaves me feeling sick to my stomach.

"Just giving you a reason to stay." His lips finding the tender spot on the crook of my neck.

He knows just how to make me melt. "I can't make any promises, Alex."

"Shhh..."

It feels so good to forget about the chasm between us, but I can't forget about what Del said, be that girl that used to think of his feelings as well as her own.

I spin around in his arm and put my hands on his chest, pushing him away. "No."

His hands drop to his hips confusion and pain drawing deep creases on his handsome face. "What do you want Trina?"

My eyes bounce around taking in the hard ripples on his chest and stomach and then back up to those dark tantalizing eyes. "I want...." my voice cracks a bit making me swallow the lump that has formed in my throat. The words are right there on my tongue but knowing the outcome is still uncertain I can't let them slip out. Do I want him? Yes, but can it be forever, I don't know? I force my way past him his hand reaches for mine, but his grip isn't tight enough to hold me. I run into my bedroom, shutting the door behind me.

My bedroom grows dark as clouds blanket the light from the moon and my eyes start to drift shut when I hear Alex whisper my name. At first, I lay still thinking that he will leave if I'm asleep but the steady sound of his feet falling on the wood flooring gets closer. Soon the side of the bed sinks with the weight of Alex's body.

I lay still with my eyes closed and feel his hand smooth the hair out of my face, his hand rests on the side of my head while his thumb caresses the side of my face. My eyes flutter open locking with his. His thumb ceases its movement, but his hand remains where it is.

"Alex," his name slips off of my tongue a tiny whisper soon lost in the darkness of the room.

"My bed is full." His response carries the scent of booze and saltwater. I slide over, pulling the blankets down, an invite for him to join me.

I watch as he removes his clothes before climbing in bed beside me wearing only his boxer briefs. He rolls toward me his head propped on his bend arm. His eyes darting back and forth as he silently studies my features. "You know a lot more about how I spent my last ten years than I know." He says, still watching me.

"Well I uh...." I lower my eyes thinking. "I wrote a book. It did well for a while and then the sales started dropping off. I came back here because I couldn't pay my bills anymore," I admit waiting for him to respond.

"You're writing again thought, right?"

"Yeah, little bits here and there but a few chapters doesn't make an entire print ready novel."

"You've spent the entire ten years writing a book?"

"No, I wrote the book in about six months. It took a year or two to find it's way on to the best sellers list and then another year for the sales to start dropping and now I get a check deposited once a month. It's enough to keep me afloat, but not near enough to live in Chicago."

"Tell me about your life."

"Oh, um...." I stumble over my words before sitting up wrapping my arms around my knees. I glance over at him, "Um... I did the four years of college. Kept to myself for the first few months but I had a very persistent roommate, who made me attend parties and join clubs. That's how I wound up on a pool league."

"Where is she at these days?"

"She committed suicide right after graduation. We had gotten our first apartment. I went to work and when I came home she was in our tub, she had slit her wrists. She was the happiest person I had ever met, so I didn't see that coming."

Alex's hand went to my arm with a small squeeze of comfort he said, "Sorry." I simply nod in response. "What did you do after that?"

"I broke our lease and moved out. The landlord agreed that it would be best given the situation. I didn't have her paying half of my bills, so I moved into a one room loft, something that I could barely afford on my own, but I got by."

"Tell me about the life of a big-time author?"

I chuckle a bit before laying back down beside him. "What's to tell, there's book signings, private parties, luncheons and a bunch of hoopla my publishing company insisted I do to promote my book."

"Anyone special come into your life?" I watch his eyes flicker with pain before his expression changes to one of indifference.

"Not really, I'm not good with relationships. My psychiatrist says that I keep people at a distance and eventually I'm going to find that one person that won't let me push them away. He says I do it out of fear of being hurt. I tell him that there's just no one special enough to make me want to stay." Suddenly I remember where I am, I had gotten lost in my own world. I roll over on my back covering my face. "Wow that was a little too much information."

Alex's arm slides over my stomach and hooks around my side pulling me closer to him. "Are you afraid that I'll hurt you?"

I glance up at him before lowering my eyes to his chest. "Honestly, I'm afraid I'll hurt you again."

Uh oh, I think they may be reconnecting. What do you think?