Caught in a landslide. No escape from reality.

JOHN'S POV

The hot water was falling onto my face like warm and soft rays of sunshine after a sheer endless night full of cold and bitter raindrops, and yet it felt like it was purple rain I was showering in.
My cold body started to warm up again as my thoughts were all over the place, giving me a hard time.
I couldn't remember what happiness felt like that night.

I was really glad to have Freddie, though, because I didn't think Brian and especially not Roger would have liked to see me and it was dragging me down.

After a way too long shower, I joined Freddie in the living room again, we were having some tea, as he was repeatedly asking me about why I had done this.
He didn't seem angry or anything.
No. In fact, he was very calm, sassy as always with his leg swung over the other, leaning against the back of the old and worn out fake leather couch.
He was looking at me nonstop as he was sipping his tea.

And because I didn't know what to do anymore, how to handle the situation and my emotions, I started telling Freddie everything that had happened.

I usually didn't tell anyone about my feelings but there was something about Freddie that was different. Something about him, that I trusted like I didn't trust anyone else.

For the first time in my life I felt like I had switched positions;
usually I was the one who was listening to others' problems, the one who tried to be supportive and cheer them up for whatever problem they were facing.
But this time, I was the one who kept talking, exposing my soul to Freddie, getting emotional.
And he was just sitting there, listening to me.

FREDDIE'S POV

it was quite unusual for Deaky to talk that much, especially about himself, but I was glad he didn't just swallow down all his feelings like that.

"And then I just... I kinda snapped, you know. Because I don't know how to handle all of this, Fred."
His gaze which had been fixated on the floor for the past ten minutes, finally moved upwards, searching for my eyes.
His cheeks were tinted in a slightly reddish tone. I could see how hard it was for him to talk about his emotions, he was stuttering quite a bit.
"I really feel like Roger just used me to make Brian jealous... And I wouldn't really mind, you know. B- But the problem is, that..." He sighed and his gaze dropped down, towards the floor again. "I can't. As hard as I'm trying, I can't change my feelings for him and it hurts."

I frowned as I put my index finger and my thumb on my chin, thinking about how to cheer up the bassist facing me.
Finally, I came up with an idea:
"Darling, why don't we just go out and get yourself a sweet boyfriend?"
I smiled at him.
"In fact, I need to get known to some new people, as well. I really want to ditch Paul as you might already know."
"Wait, you're still with him?" Deaky crossed his arms, sitting up straight and giving me a judging face.
I shrugged. "We didn't see each other since we've arrived in London, I haven't called him or anything but no, I didn't tell him yet. I want it to be special!" I laughed.
"Freddie..."
"Yes, dear?" I raised my eyebrows as he didn't respond, and just shook his head slowly.
I could clearly see how disappointed he was and I tried not to laugh at the funny face he made as he was judging me.

"That's it, then. Get up." I jumped up from the couch and leaned my fists against my hips, smirking at Deaky, who was staring at me, startled.
"Where are we going?"
"To the club, of course! We were just talking about that, darling."
He shook his head immediately and let himself fall back into the couch again.
"No... I'm too tired today, Fred. And I don't feel so well, I don't want to talk to people, really..."
He seemed to become sad again which I wanted to prevent at all costs.

JOHN'S POV

I saw him squint his eyes as he was coming closer, biting his upper lip.
"Then, we'll have to think of a different solution..."
I was quite shocked as he let himself fall down on the couch right next to me, so close, that he was actually nearly lying on top of me.
I felt my face turn hot, my cheeks must have turned bright red. I hadn't expected Freddie to be as touchy as he was right there.
"Which solution?" I asked, playing the stupid one, even though my thoughts were constructing possible yet unthinkable scenarios after Freddie had come that close to me.
"I don't know" The smirk on his lips grew bigger and his face got flirtier as he was gazing at me.
I gulped, my breath was heavy as I avoided eye contact and just stared at the small table which my tea cup was standing on.
"You tell me, darling!"
I certainly didn't expect the wink he gave me, either.
"Why are you nervous?" He teased, now putting a leg over my lap.

FREDDIE'S POV

My plan seemed to work just fine. John was distracted from his negative thoughts again and I had to admit;
teasing him a little and flirting with him was quite enjoyable as he was adorable when he was nervous like that.
I chuckled and laid my head on his shoulder. I could feel how he was a little more relaxed now that I wasn't going further anymore.

"You know, darling... No-one's worth it."
"What do you mean?" I felt his gaze and I smiled, staring at the tea cup standing on the low table in front of us.
"No-one's worth for you being sad like that. You're way too precious."
"You are, too..." He answered silently.
I laughed. "Of course, I am! That's why I'm going to break up with that dumb idiot!"

I grabbed his arm and wrapped my arms around it.
Cuddling with John like that felt so natural, so comfortable and not awkward at all. And he didn't even say anything. Instead, he leaned his head against mine.
I knew that he needed a little affection right now. A little love from someone and I wouldn't be the one who left him hanging down.