Caught in a landslide. No escape from reality.

JOHN'S POV

It was our second night in New York City and things were getting a bit out of hand; Freddie was exaggerating with the alcohol and the drugs and - worst of all - his sex life. I was really worried as New York was a blooming city for the alternative night life, meaning that the HIV disease was nearly an epidemic here.
I did accompany Fred quite often and it was great fun being with him but compared to him, I wasn't doing anything alarming. Actually, I was rather the one who volunteered to take care of him and bring him back to the hotel room after nights full of different drugs.
Paul wasn't helping at all as he was even worse than Freddie.

Tonight, we had been invited to a party. I didn't know the host but of course we had to go. It was a party after all and Freddie would never miss one of those.
At first, everything was normal and relaxed, we met new people and had friendly chats. But that changed way too quickly, just like the alcohol disappeared.
I had lost Freddie, and I was really worried, once again, but I decided not to be clingy and just searched for some other people to talk to, which was easier than usual, maybe because I was a little tipsy myself.
Yes, I did like a good glass of champagne as well, it was not like I was the stuck up nerd who didn't know how to have fun.
I was just a little shy without alcohol.

I was talking to a pretty girl. She was clearly crazy but she was very good-looking; long, blonde hair, beautiful big hazel eyes, and, most importantly; she had recognized me - which wasn't the norm.

People usually just recognized the other three members of the band: Freddie, because he was the singer and he had an outgoing personality. He was thriving, people couldn't overlook him even if they wanted to. He was just the heart of the band. Without him, there would be no Queen.
They knew Roger because he was the 'hot one' of the band, adored by so many girls all around the world and also an energetic extrovert. He liked to scream and his energy was way stronger than mine, even though he was behind those drums and I was in the front, right next to Fred. And Brian? well, Brian was just a very unique person with his massive curls and his tall gestalt. He wrote and sang many songs which contributed on the band's versatileness a lot.
And me?
I didn't have any of those things. I wasn't outgoing or good with people, I wasn't handsome by any means, in fact, I didn't like my own face, and I wasn't extraordinarily talented, compared to the others.
At times, I felt really insecure next to them and that was also the reason why I never sang. My voice was just not as good as theirs.
Again, I blamed everything on my shyness which I couldn't overcome but I didn't actually mind being unrecognized as I really didn't enjoy being the center of attention.

I was losing myself in my thoughts as the girls continued talking about how much she loved the band but my daydreaming got interrupted after just a few moments by laughter and someone screaming:
"I'M WHITE TRASH! I'M WHITE TRASH!"

As soon as I realized that it was Freddie's voice I could here there, I rolled my eyes and sighed.
What now?
Another utterly embarrassing action by our party animal I had to get him out of?
I turned around and spotted the singer jumping up and down in a massive dust bin while repeatetly screaming "I'm white trash!" and laughing.
I felt my cheeks turn red as I felt embarrassment on Fred's behalf. I couldn't even look at it, but at the same time I couldn't help but laugh at his silliness.
That's why Freddie was so lovable; he could be an idiotic fool at times and make people laugh even at their darkes hours.

As Freddie was the center of the attention again - just as he liked it, other than me - I decided to end the show by asking Brian to pull him out of the bin with me.
We managed to bring him into the bedroom.

"His drink has probably been spiked.." Brian thought loud as he looked at the laughing Freddie with a frown. "Are you willing to stay with him or should I do that?"
I shook my head and smiled at the taller one. "It's alright, I'll stay with him. I wanted to go back into the bedroom anyways."
Brian nodded. "Okay, thank you." He left, closing the door behind him silently.
Freddie was lying on the bed by now, still giggling. "White trash..!"

I laughed a little, then I joined him on the bed. "Freddie, what are you doing?"  I smiled at him. "I know you'll probably not remember, but I want you to know that I really care for you. So please, take it easy with those drugs..." I felt comfortable talking to Freddie, way too comfortable. Maybe it was the alcohol's fault which numbed my system a little, maybe it was me knowing that I could tell Freddie everything right now because he probably wouldn't remember anyways tomorrow.
"The last days had been fun... with you." I separated my gaze from the singer who had stopped laughing by now and glanced at me silently.
"I really enjoyed it, you did your job, it seems like." I sighed. "But please, Freddie. Take care of yourself. I don't want to lose you. I couldn't handle that. I can't even imagine what it would be like... And I don't want to." My eyes got a little teary as I was staring at my lap. "You mean so much to me, you understand me, you're my best friend." I clenched my fists and took a deep breath. "I want to be gone before you, so please. Get yourself together and be careful out there!" I frowned, still staring at my lap but I could feel Freddie's gaze on my face.
"You worry too much, darling. I'll be fine..." And that was the last thing I heard from him.
As I turned my head towards him, I could see that he had fallen asleep.

"Don't tell me not to worry..." I mumbled, even though he couldn't hear me anymore. As I was already sitting next to him, quite tired, I took off my shoes and lied down next to him. The bed was big enough, it was a French bed. But I hugged him. And without even noticing, I fell asleep as well.