Caught in a landslide. No escape from reality.

FREDDIE'S POV

And I was alone again. Alone in my room, alone in my life.
Thinking about having good friends didn't help in that moment as I wanted to experience something more than just friendship - something that would be warming my heart in a different way than just platonic love.

After Paul had slammed the door shut, everything had fallen silent, just my thoughts were loud enough to fill the whole room with their noise. But then I looked around; the empty room with those white walls, the white curtains, everything was so silent, it felt so sterile as if I was in a hospital room. And suddenly I couldn't hear anything anymore. My thoughts were gone and it seemed like as if time had stopped just for that moment for me to realise that I was alone.

Alone in this whole wide world. Mary was gone because I left her to fulfill my fantasies, Paul was gone because I sent him to hell, because I chose my friends over my lover. Was it the right thing to do? I didn't know. And I started to feel afraid again.

Suddenly, I started coughing. It hurt and like back in the U.S., the coughs were accompanied by little spots of blood, this time covering the palms of my hands instead of the white ceramic in the bathroom.
Breathing became more difficult as I stared at my hands. I wasn't just afraid of being alone. Something was wrong...

You'll forever be alone! Nobody likes your true personality anyways! You're just ridiculous! You don't deserve real love!

The silence was gone again and my fears and insecurities started to shout inside my head.
I pressed my hands against my ears in an attempt to make it stop but it only got louder and louder.
And the worst thing about those thoughts was: they weren't lies. They were the truth. I'd continue losing people I love.

JOHN'S POV

Cigarette smoke rose up into the air as I lit one, walking along the streets of Tokyo, heading back to our hotel.
I couldn't stop thinking about what just happened. I had entered that room with an expectation. An expectation of happiness or euphoria afterwards but instead all I could feel was disappointment. I was not disappointed in that guy, no. I was disappointed in myself and in what I had done. I felt guilt.
I had enjoyed it while it had lasted but that feeling had been too short to be mentioned. And there was no emotional bond between me and that stranger. I realized that it was not pleasure that I was missing in life. It was simply love.

I entered the hotel and took the elevator to go up to the third floor where my and Freddie's room was located.
Freddie was probably sleeping right now, so I tried to enter as quietly as possible;
I was actually able to unlock the door without making any noise.
I turned the doorknob slowly, then I pushed the door inwards just enough to have a peek into the room.

I heard heavy breathing and as I opened the door just a little more I saw him.
Freddie had sunken to the ground, his eyes closed and his hands were covering his ears.
My heart dropped and I immediately rushed towards him to pull him in for a hug.

"Freddie? Freddie! What's wrong? What happened? Freddie?" I mumbled as I took him by his shoulders and searched for his gaze.
I could feel Freddie wince in surprise as he opened his eyes and tried to have a glimpse at me.
"Deaky, I- You're already here? I didn't know you were gonna be back that early!" He took a breath and attempted to free himself from my embrace. I let him go after a few seconds of resistance and backed up a little.
"Freddie... what happened?", I breathed silently, my eyes fixated on his. I had never seen Freddie so destroyed and sad before. It was odd. The great and perfect Freddie Mercury. So vulnerable and weak... But I understood, that everyone had feelings, of course. It was just an unexpected surprise seeing him like that whilst being a world famous star on tour with his best friends, living his best life.
"I'm lying...", he whispered so quietly that I could barely understand him. I frowned.
"Why are you lying, Freddie?", I asked quietly, putting my hand on his.
Freddie shook his head and got up.
"I'm not lying."
I raised an eyebrow. "What? But you just said-"
"Never mind. I'm fine. And by the way, Paul is gone now. I told him to leave for good."

So many questions came up in my mind and I couldn't do anything but frown.
Freddie had gotten rid of Prenter?
The moment I had processed Freddie's confession, I couldn't help but smile, laugh, even. Paul Prenter was gone and would not traumatize us anymore. That were great news!

"Did you... get rid of Paul... like, seriously?", I whispered in disbelieve, staring at Freddie who was pouring some Whiskey into a glass. I couldn't hide my smirk.
He simply nodded.
"Yes. We don't need to worry about him anymore." The singer smiled as he emptied his glass of Whiskey just to fill it up again. I got up, sat down on Freddie's bed and invited him with a pat on the linen to sit down next to me.
"Why all of a sudden? ... I mean.. How did you find out about his true colours?"
"Oh, darling, I know that he's a rainbow, just like me, but he's a greyscale rainbow and lacking all of his colours. We got into an argument...", Freddie started explaining calmly. "It escalated a little. I pushed Paul against that night table over there" He pointed at the little wooden night table next to my bed; the lamp had fallen onto the floor and the table itself was pushed towards the wall behind it. "I might have overreacted a little."
My eyes wandered towards Freddie again.
"Where is he now?"
He just shrugged. "Probably on the next flight home."
I nodded. "You did the right thing, Freddie. You deserve way better, anyways. Like you said; he's greyscale, whilst you are all of the colours." Freddie laughed. "That's very sweet, darling!" He took the Whiskey bottle and joined me on the bed.

FREDDIE'S POV

My negative feelings started to fade as I was talking to John. I even forgot about Prenter after a while. As I was looking at the boy I slowly started to realize how gorgeous he actually was... His long, luscious hair, his goofy tooth gap which gave him so much personality, his wonderfully shaped eyes...
"Let's get drunk, we deserve it." I winked and poured John a glass of whiskey. "Yes, definitely", he laughed and emptied the glass immediately.
After a little while, or it might have been even shorter, the noble glass bottle which had contained the finest whiskey one could find was empty. John was on his last shot as he rose the glass up in the air. "Cheers!", he laughed, followed by a hiccup. "To... no Prenter no more and to freedom without Prenter because with Prenter we were definitely not free..!", he mumbled before he downed the glass. I nodded, rose my last glass as well and let the golden liquid roll down my throat. The burn was nice and added even more to my tipsiness but John was definitely drunk, not just tipsy.
I took that as a chance and got even closer to the bass player. I was drunk after all. That was a good enough excuse to kiss him. I grabbed Deaky by the collar and pulled him towards me, pressing his lips against mine. I closed my eyes as I didn't feel any resistance.