Across Enemy Lines

Chapter 6

            “Are you going to talk to me or just stare at me all day?” my dad asked with a chuckle, turning his head to the side so that he was now looking at me. I gave a sheepish smile and placed the journal behind my back.

            “Sorry dad, you just looked lost in thought and I didn’t want to interrupt,” I said not making any move to walk further into the kitchen. He filled his mug with more coffee then turned fully toward me.

            “Well now you have my full attention,” he replied gesturing to the small kitchen table that sat in between where each of us stood. He set his mug down on the table and pulled a chair out for him to sit down. He waited for me to make the next move. I sank down into the seat opposite of him, careful to keep the journal out of his sight. “So what is it you wanted to talk to me about?” he asked, taking another sip from his mug then shooting me a smile.

            We sat in silence for a few minutes. Internally, I was debating on whether I wanted to bring this up now or wait until he was less under stress. Outside I could hear the sound of my brother laughing intermixed with the other sounds of the football game. If I brought this up, I wouldn’t only be effecting my dad but also my brother.

            Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. Instead of saying anything, I silently placed the journal on the table in front of my dad. Outwardly, he didn’t seem affected by what I had just presented to him but his eyes told a different story. The edges tensed and I saw several emotions cross them.

            “Where did you find that?” he asked. His tone remained calm and curious. I relaxed only a little at the fact that he didn’t seem angry that I had mom’s journal.

            “I found it in your office on the night after Jaxson was shot. You had fallen asleep and I was straightening up. This was one of the books that had fallen off the shelf,” I explained staring at the journal.

            “And I’m guessing you read it?” I replied with a small smile as he pulled the journal closer to him. The expression on his face was something that I only see on rare occasions. One that I’ve come to recognize as a sign that my dad was thinking about my mom. His eyes were now far away, the small smile still in place as he flipped slowly through the pages. At random moments, his smile would get bigger after reading something. I swallowed past the lump in my throat. The memory of my mom given by her journal made my dad look at peace and happy. He really loved her.

            “Not all of it. Dad, why didn’t you tell me that mom had a journal? Didn’t you think I’d want to know? I didn’t know mom well but this could have given me some insight,” I said, letting him know the feelings that I had since finding out whose journal I had been reading. He let out a sigh before glancing up at me, closing the journal in the process.