More than this ?

I get up from the couch. The boys follow behind me as I walk to the door. "Omg!" I say "what do you want" I say again "Lydia we need to leave" my grandma says "I'm not going with you" I say "what are you talking about you parents left me in ch-" she says but I cut her off "they didn't leave you in charge they left Anne and Karen In charge" I say "who's Anne and Karen" she says "my mother and mother in law" I say "wait you have a boyfriend" she says "a dirty little hoe like you has a boyfriend" she says again. Gosh I just love it when people call me a hoe because it hurts my feelings. "Hey! Don't talk to here like that!!" Harry says "ooo is that your boyfriend" she says "yes" I say to her "he's cute" she says "yeah well your way to fucking old for him"I say "don't talk to me like that" she says "or what, you gonna hit me. Abuse me like you did every time I go over there" I say to her "your so fucking pathetic. Leave before I call the police" I say "now!!" I say "by the way I bet your knocked up huh. Little slut like you" she says "aww my feelings are hurt. I hate you. Get out!!" I say. I grab her by here arm and walk her to the door. "Don't come back" I say "you know what happened if you do" I say to her. She walk to her car and leaves. Zayn shuts the door and I let go. I let the tears stream down my face. "I'm sorry" I say "maybe I am what she says" I say "don't you dare say that!!! You are not a dirty little hoe or slut!! She's a fucking asshole" Louis says. Harry grabs me and hugs me and I cry into him. "Shhhh don't cry" he says "I won't I promise" I say "I just she hurt me bad when I was a kid and I don't wanna go back there. Ever" I say crying "your not gonna because we ain't gonna let you" zayn says "I love you guys" I say "we love you" they say. I look down to the floor but as I look down I look at my wrist. Grate it's bleeding. "Can we get this cleaned up" I say looking at Liam "yeah. Let's go" he say. I walk up to the bathroom. I sit myself down on the counter. Liam walks in followed by the boys. "Are you ready" Louis says "yeah" I say. Zayn grabs my arm and starts to unwrap the bandages. Niall takes the Goz off. Louis grabs cotton balls,pours alcohol on it and starts to clean my stitches. "Your not flinching" Harry says "cause I'm use to the pain and the sting" I say. I look down at my arm. The boys staring at me. "Can we finish this please" I say. Liam grabs the goz and puts it on my stitches and wraps my arm up. "Alright I'm done" he says. I don't answer him. I get off the counter. "Lydia we're are you going". Zayn asks. I don't answer. I just ignore and walk towards my room. I walk to my room and slam my door. I start to cry. "Once in a lifetime" I whisper to myself as I start to cry "somehow, it feels like nothings has changed,right now my heart is beating the same. Out loud someone's calling my name" I say crying. "Don't cry" I hear someone say. I turn around and it's the boys. "I'm sorry. I just I'm used to it now" I say crying. "It's all my fault I did this. I almost left you guys" I say. I fall into Harry's arms. "But You didn't and we are thankful" Louis says. We get into a group hug and give each other the most tightest hugs ever. I love them and i don't know  what I would do without them. Im half a heart without them. I don't know what I'd be without them. We brake the group hug. "Who's hungry" Liam's ask "me" I say "me two" Niall says "me three" Louis says "me four" Harry says "me five" zayn says. We laugh at our childish game. "Okay what do you want for dinner" he asks "honestly I don't care I can go for anything"  I say "mc Donald's. Something easy" Liam says "that fine with me" all of us say. I walk downstairs. The boys are still up there. I sit down on the couch and take a deep breathe. "You okay" a voice behind me says. I turn around. "Yeah zayn I'm fine" I say to him. "Everything's okay" I say again. He smiles at me and comes to sit down next to me. "What wrong" he says "it's just zayn. With you know me on my period and the cuts and the stuff with Adam and Harry. It's really dragging me down" I say to him "I just I'm trying so hard yet I feel like I'm  failing" I say "hey your not failing okay. Don't give up. I'm always here for you. You can talk to me whenever you feel like it. I'm always here" he says "thank you" I say. I give him a hug. "Now go with me to get the food" he says "okay" I say. I stand up  and put on my shoes. "What are the boys doing" I ask "oh there just up there talking" he says "oh okay" I say "yeah now let's go" he says. I walk out the door and towards his car. Wow he has a nice car. I get in. He drives to McDonald. We pick up the food. We are on our way back home. "We're back" I say "great. I'm hungry" Niall says. I start laughing. "Did you get yourself anything" Liam ask "no I wasn't hungry" I say "oh" they say "yeah" I say. I sit down on the floor. I don't feel so well. "You okay" Niall asks "yeah" I say "you sure" Louis says "no I feel sick" I say. "It's okay just eat something" Harry says "no I mean i don't know I'm not hungry,my stomach hurts and I have a head ache" I say "it's okay just eat some of this" zayn says handing me his food. I take a bite and I feel a tiny bit better "better" Liam says "better" I say.