I'm bored... Let's write

If you felt or you're feeling like everything is out of your control and you're helplessly living with that, I have a trick that might help or maybe won't. Everyone's different, I'm just hoping this will give you an idea about thoughts. Or if you've already know this, I'm sorry if you're wasting your time. Anyways, here's my thoughts about thoughts. (Doesn't that sound funny? No? Ok -_-)

Thoughts, the only thing that can't be stolen. Unless you said it out loud, it's yours forever and will die with you. Same with secret, thoughts can be secret. They said there's no secret that can't be found (or something like that) but I disagree greatly. If you really want something to be kept as a secret, I suggest that don't think about it as a secret, think about it as one of your personal thoughts. I don't know why I'm writing about this and why I'm suggesting it, but I just felt that if you were to think about it as a thought, it'd be less hard and less stressful because you'd think, meh it's a just a thought and not a secret. Secrets weigh more than thoughts. I'm saying thoughts a lot for this, bear with me. I've been thinking about shit a lot. Been stressed for a while now and I don't feel like sharing my thoughts this days because I feel that it wouldn't make any sense to others as only I feel about some things this way and who knows what others think. While I'm on my phone, on Facebook, there's always a post about which pill would you take and they'd show options of super powers and things that's awesome. A few options are always repeated and reading minds is one of them. I don't think reading minds is a good option. I won't get too scientific because I haven't done research whatsoever here, I'm just voicing out my opinion because I know only few will know and read about this and that's fine by me. Reading minds, having this will feel like you're spying and stealing at somebody. Sure, it will give you power with the knowledge and advantage over someone but that's not really a good thing. We've been holding on for knowledge and it helped us improve as a human but humans are also using it against one another. Always greedy for something, always have dreams. I'm not saying this about you (or maybe I am, depends on what you dream about, of course) I'm saying this to people who are ready to hurt someone to get what they want. Having a power to read people's mind, I'd call you a thief and to not be trusted. Thoughts are the only thing I know that couldn't be stolen and I feel like this is like a murder and not theft. Everything can be stolen today, our identities, personal things or stuffs and even loved ones. If somebody was to take thoughts away from us, there's really nothing left anymore, is there? Maybe I'm just saying this cuz I'm a bit down lately but I still stand by this. Thoughts, I treasure this more than any thing (I intentionally separate this words). We each have thoughts that could fill up a whole library, maybe you don't think about this but I've been a bit stressed and thoughts are my only companion on helping me ease it. Our mind is constantly at work and so is our body but I'm not an athlete, I don't have physical activities to distract me, instead I have time and mind. I like quiet. I like silence. It helps me think more but sometimes my thoughts are a bit sad. Mostly it hurts me because I let it hurt me, because I know it's true and I let it sank deep to me. I haven't reached my goal, I'm still hurting myself mentally. But I have time, don't I? I don't like talking about myself because I always thought no one cares. Sometimes, no one really cares but a lot of times I'm just shocked that someone wants my opinion. Just wanna say, I don't trust my opinion or myself so if I sound unsure or misleading, it's natural for me and expect it. Even in my thoughts, I'm confusing myself. I fear lose of control and it came to its peak when I became a leader in our group, I was prepared for all the things that might not go with the plan. I don't say final words because I knew that something was bound to not happen with my plan. It's an emotional ride, I avoided being a leader or any position that needs me to take control and have responsibility. It affected me because I hate disappointing someone. The only comforting thing that helped me was my thought, I have control over it. I fucking sound like a weird over control shithead. Maybe I'm not control freak, maybe I'm just afraid of disappointment. Who knows? I don't even know myself. I can't make promises to anyone, including me. I don't know where this is going, forgive me.

Thoughts, you have full control over it. You have the power to it. No one can take it away from you unless you gave them that power. I don't wish to confuse or mislead you with my rambling, don't take my words personally because I haven't been giving this much of a thought, I'm bored and this is the only option for me to remove some things in my head for a minute before it fills up again and I had to ramble more. Thanks, peeps.