Finding Me (Todoroki x Reader)

Chapter 57

"Are you okay?" Tsu asked, going to rub my back again but I stopped her.

"It's okay," I quipped, flashing her a smile that didn't quite reach my eyes. "I'm fine. I'll be fine."

I went to pick up my pot and leave, but a hand on my wrist halted me in my quest to escape the cage of feelings my heart was trapped in.

"We both know you aren't, Y/N," my frog friend whispered, pity evident in her voice. "And we both know you never will be. I care about Momo just as much as you do, but you shouldn't do this to yourself for her sake, or for Shoto's sake. You're gonna end up hurting yourself. You know that, right?"

I looked around, hoping that no one could hear us or was watching us. It's not like we were being loud, but by God did it feel like we were. Nope, no one. 'Thank goodness.'

I dropped my head, eyes landing on the tired looking figure staring back at me from the water. The I girl I saw looked okay, honestly, and at first glance no one would suspect something was wrong. Her H/L, H/C hair was all in place, and her E/C eyes seemed bright and happy as I stared into them so deeply. But I knew that girl, for she was me. And although I looked okay, I certainly didn't feel that way.

But, hey, if I looked okay, maybe I could someday feel okay.

"I know," I muttered, taking her hand off me.Grabbing the pot of water, I lifted it out of the sink, and turned to face my green-haired friend one last time. I smiled, albeit sadly. "But I have to hope that one day I will be, right? Gotta start now."

Before she could say anything in response, I said, "Well, I have to keep moving and get this pot back to Iida. These vegetables won't cook themselves!"

I walked away, focussing on keeping my smile in place as I wondered pass my many friends. But all I really wanted was to be alone; to sleep or climb a tree or read a book or climb the mountain. Anything. I just wanted to be alone. So - as much as I loved playing games - I decided that after dinner, I would skip out on whatever surprise Pixiebob and the other Pussycats had in store for us.

I didn't want to do something that I knew my heart wouldn't be in one hundred percent. It wouldn't be fair upon my classmates, who seemed especially excited to partake in the activity - whatever it was going to be.

'First, I gotta get this to Iida...' I thought as I weaved in and out of the tables that scattered the clearing round the fire pits. However, I had too much tunnel vision, for I didn't notice someone walking towards me in the opposite direction.

"Oof," I gasped as I felt someone knock into my shoulder. The water began to tip out of the pot, and so I quickly manoeuvred myself so that the water wouldn't spill over. A few drops lapped over the sides, but the water steadied as I held the pot completely still. Once it had, I allowed myself to breathe. 'So close...'

"Sorry," I apologised, turning to face whoever I had bumped into. Thing was, once I did, I almost dropped the pot again. "S-Shoto?!"

"Y/N," he greeted, and I noticed he had his own pot in his hands. "You okay? You look really flustered."

I felt flustered. "Really?" I felt my cheeks, retracting them immediately as soon as I felt how much they were burning. "Guess I am, huh? Haha..."

I wanted to leave; I didn't want to be with him right now. That was a first, but it was the truth. Anything to do with him lately only made me more anxious, especially after my conversation with Momo. It made my gut twist horribly, and I hated it.

'Gotta leave. Gotta get out.'

"Well, I gotta deliver this water to Iida, so I'll see you later-" I went to leave, but an iron grip encased my wrist, halting me in my tracks. "S-Shoto?"