Finding Me (Todoroki x Reader)

Chapter 72

Shoto's eyes met mine, unflinching as they bored into mine. I stared back, determined to win the staring contest we'd initiated. However, the more he stared, the more he was seeming to say: "Really? You really think I'm going to believe that?"

I huffed in defeat as I ripped my eyes away from him, but I didn't hear a gloating laugh. Only silence met my ears, meaning that Shoto was waiting for a response. As always, he could read me like a damn book.

I released a sigh before turning back to him. "I was just thinking... if I had been looking out at the training camp; if I had been quicker to grab Bakugou, then maybe none of this would've happened. If I had somehow found a way out of their hideout, the heroes wouldn't have come and no one would've been injured, and-"

Warm and cold sensations wrapped around my body, encircling my back as I was pulled tight into Shoto's chest. I was so in shock that I couldn't finish my mindless rambling. Shoto's breath fanned my ear, tickling the soft flesh there as I stared with wide eyes over his shoulders.

"Don't," he muttered. "Don't do this to yourself. Beat yourself up for something that you had no control over. We all failed Bakugou, that night. And then we failed you, too..."

He pulled away, but slipped his hands down onto my arms, keeping me faced towards him. Tears brimmed in his bi-coloured eyes, like shining sapphires and diamonds in a coal mine. It was ironic how he had told me not to beat myself up, and that he could tell just from what look on my face; for now I was seeing my own reflection staring right back at me.

Regret and pain reflected in those stunning orbs of his, the twitch of a brow and quiver of a lip hinting at what lay underneath his cool façade. He felt responsible for what happened, just as much as I did.

"What happened to you?" Shoto's voice quivered, but his grip on me loosened. "What happened to you in the time you were missing? What happened just before you passed out? I was worried, Y/N! And I have been for sometime, now...."

"Shoto..." I pulled away slightly. "What happened... is none of your of fault-"

"Don't say it's not my fault, because it damn well is!" Shoto pulled me close again, our noses brushing and breaths intertwining as we locked eyes. "I couldn't protect you at camp, and I couldn't protect you from whatever happened last night. The least you can tell me is why!"

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. They were caught up in my constricted throat because I could see it all so clearly, now. Shoto wasn't just talking about the League, or even All for One.

'He's talking about camp. About what I couldn't say to him.'

"I'll trust you, Y/N... Just know that whatever it is that you're holding back isn't worth your tears."

Silence enveloped us, wrapping around us as the wind did. The silence wasn't awkward, but it was becoming something that I'd never felt before with Shoto: tense. The air surrounding us was thick with tenseness, suffocating my voice with its unnatural strength. Why couldn't I say anything? My best friend - my crush - was sitting right beside me, yet I couldn't utter a single word.

It seemed as though Shoto was in the same boat, for he said nothing, too. He let me go, resorting to slouching on his knees with his elbows. I flinched when I felt it: a sliver of anger weaving in him, in and out amongst the blue and red flashes of sadness, doubt, confusion. He wasn't mad... just hurt.

Flicking my gaze up from the ground  to Shoto, I found his eyes staring elsewhere, as well. Brows furrowed and lips pressed into a thin line, he was either deep in thought, or... Eyes averted and no more contact could only mean one thing. 'I've upset him.'