Q?U?E?E?N {Noah Puckerman/Glee} {Book 1}

I'm miserable. Yes. Not that anybody realises, but that doesn't matter. I'm good at hiding. So I've hidden from most people, not literally. Mentally - well I mean, I hide what I think. My emotions. I rarely even tell Santana about how I feel. Finn doesn't know either. Neither does Kurt. Or Quinn. Nobody.
So in all honesty, I am extra miserable. More so than usual. Which adds to the empty feeling weight on my chest.

"Lena," Finn stops me on the corridor. I stay silent and just shove past him, not in the mood for any conversation.
     "Nope, not this time." He mutters, rushing to cut me off. I crash into him and scowl up at his stupid face. "You are not just cutting everyone off. You may believe i'm an idiot and won't notice, but I can tell Alena. You are a mess at the moment." He says all of this in a low voice in an attempt to be subtle and not gain any attention from anyone. But it never really works.

"Onto Hudson are we now?" Some junior smirks at me and Finn. It makes me uncomfortable and at the moment I can't even think of a response to it. So I pathetically say, "no. Go away."

"Lena, you need to talk to someone." Finn grabs my attention back. I frown and shake my head slightly, "I don't want to. I'm fine." I step around him and constitute towards my locker.
***
"Finn told me somethings up. Talk to me,"Kurt says after I've just answered the phone. "I know it's about Puck," He adds. "I know you think you're fooling everyone but you're not. We care about you, we notice things."

"I don't want to talk about it, ok?" I let out a frustrated sigh, wanting to hang up, but I can't bring myself to actually do it. Especially to Kurt.

"I know you don't. But then you'll keep it all in and you'll feel worse. Like I said Lena, we know you." I know he's rolling his eyes. Unfortunately Kurt doesn't play my bullshit games and gets me to do things that I initially don't want to do.

"I wish I didn't just end things with Puck immediately. But I don't wanna hurt Santana," I mumble, finally talking to someone. I feel guilty and vulnerable. Two feelings I despise.

I can't tell if I feel better or worse right now.

"Why would Santana care?" Kurt asks, sounding slightly irritated by the idea of her ruining my only (almost) committed relationship.

"I dunno, because I might ditch her for him, even though I wouldn't." I mumble.

"That's just weird."
***
holy shit. I updated. wow. I'm really sorry. I don't have any excuse other than being lazy (and exams lol, which i passed and have now started year 12. i also got airpods (flex) anyway) i'm super sorry especially to everyone who is still reading. I hope you enjoy this chapter even though it ain't amazing.

anyone ima go off and look at draco and be a real hp fan bc i grew up with that shit :)
- H <3