Why Can't I Change

Taylor's POV
Leon and Ari left. Our dad brought them over since we're suspended and they had work so what better to do then bring them to the gay daughter they hate so much right?
Mariana put new bandages on my arm and left the room. Candace holds me tight again "Why do you hold me so tight?" I ask her "If I let go you might not be here" she says "You broke her" Autumn tells me "I didn't break her" I say looking down at my girlfriend "I won't be going anywhere" I tell her "I'll be right back" Autumn says and she turns like she's going to the room I sleep in so I follow her. She walks into the room then the bathroom and grabs the knife "What are you doing?" I ask "Taking this from you" She says putting it in her pocket "Thank you" Rona says passing the door and Autumn gives it to her. "I said I wouldn't do it again" I tell her "You said that before and look what happened...I can't loose you" she says and I hug her "I promise you won't" I say. I look at her, when did Autumn get so attractive? Wait what? No!! It's probably just the gayness thinking every female is hot because their female. "What's on your mind" she asks giggling "What? Uh nothing" I tell her and we go back to Candace's room.
"Baby!!" Candace says like a child when we walk in "Cuddles" she says so I go to the bed and Autumn goes to the couch "What are you doing I said cuddles that means both of you" she says and Autumn goes on the other side of her. Autumn is holding my hand which is resting on Candace's stomach. Candace kisses my lips then my cheek "I'm not going to lay here if you two are going to be all flirty and sexual" Autumn whines "We're not....you want hugs and kisses too" Candace says giving her kisses on her face "Gross" Autumn complains wiping her face with Candace's shirt "You don't like my kisses?" Candace says acting sad "No I do not" Autumn laughs and Candace pouts "Here" she said kissing my girlfriend's face "Yay!!" Candace says like a child. I'm staring out into space not knowing what the two girls beside me are talking about "Taylor!!!" Candace yells "Huh?" I ask coming out of my trance "Did you hear a word we said?" Autumn asks "Yea Uhh you were talking about the Uhh" I couldn't make anything up in time so I just sat there "What's up with you?" Autumn asks me "Uhhh" I couldn't come up with something again "We'll be right back" Autumn says dragging me out Candace's room to the other one "What the hell is wrong with you?" She asks "What do you mean" I say not wanting to talk about it "Don't play dumb Tae. You haven't even been playing attention to Candace, do you not like her anymore?" Autumn asks and I shrug "What is it?" She asks again putting her hand on my shoulder. I can't fucking help it anymore so I put my fingers under her chin and kiss her, the kiss only lasts a few moments before Autumn pushes me off "What the fuck!!" She whisper yells "I'm sorry" I say quickly rubbing my arm "Why would you do that!!" She whisper yells again "I don't know, I just....I don't know" I tell her honestly because I don't know "Do you like me or something?" Autumn asks quietly so no one can hear her "I'm confused okay?! I don't know what's happening" I say panicking. I might of just ruined my friendship with Autumn, why do I have to be like this, why did I have to kiss her. "Look....I'm straight and you're with Candace who likes you a lot" Autumn tells me and I nod my head "That can't happen again" she adds and I agree with her "Please don't tell her" I plead "I'm not. Are you?" She asks "I don't know....should I?" I ask her "If I was you I wouldn't. You said you are confused and it's not like we had sex or anything so it should be fine" Autumn tells me "Yea your right" I say agreeing with her and we go back to Candace's room.
"Are you better now?" Candace asks smiling "Yea" I say smiling back and kissing her lips, she holds my hand and kisses my cheek "Thanks for fixing her" Candace laughs and Autumn just nods.
I'm such an idiot. I don't know if I like Autumn or if I was just confused and just flustered or something, I like Candace a lot and she likes me so that's good, right? I hate that I'm confused even after the fact that I came out already. I thought it would be better when I came out when it's really just the same, I never stop coming out and I'm as confused as I was before.

"I'll be in the other room" Autumn says winking at Candace and licking and shutting the door "What was that about?" I ask "You really didn't listen to a word we said did you?" She asks giggling "Nope" I respond and she kisses my neck "So that's why she locked the door" I said as Candace crawled on top of me "You really have to stop doing this" I say turning her around so I'm on top "I wanted to top" she whines "No baby now shh" I say kissing her neck aggressively. She softly moans in my ear as I make hickeys on her neck and collar bone, she runs her hands up my back taking off my shirt and she takes off hers. I start kissing her chest "We don't have all day" Candace says obviously flustered. I make my way down her body leaving a trail of hickeys.

We're cuddling in her bed, she's laying on top of me with my arms wrapped around her waist and my hands resting on her ass. "I wouldn't go in there if I was you" I hear Autumn say "Okay nevermind then" I hear Mariana say letting go of the door handle. It's locked anyways so she can't get in. "Girls come out here please" Mariana tells us and Candace sighs, kisses my lips and puts on a bra and shirt she found on the floor and some shorts. I grab the other bra and put some joggers on and we walk out the door.
"What kind of pizza do you want?" Rona asks "That's why you asked us out here?! We got dressed for nothing" Candace says "Sausage" she adds and Rona nods "I see you two had fun" Autumn teases touching our necks "Shut up" I say. She smirks then looks down Candace's shirt "God damn!!" Autumn laughs and Candace pushes her away "Lift up your shirt" Mariana says "What? Mom no" she pleads "Now" her mom demands so Candace takes off her shirt to reveal the many hickies I gave her down her stomach and on her chest, her mom starts laughing at her daughters embarrassment "It's not funny" Candace whines "I bet there's more on your thighs and pus-" I cut Autumn off "Nope quiet" I tell her "Is there?" Autumn whispers but everyone can still hear her. Candace blushes "I'm going to take that as a yes" Autumn smirks "Are you good now?" Autumn asks me and I nod. I'm not good yet but I will be.

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