spencer reid x reader one shots

a/n- this story ended up being two parts, but it's better that way, so just be patient with me! i really liked writing this one, so i hope you enjoy it! more updates soon :)

You felt the familiar jolt run through your body, shuddering slightly as you pounded back your third shot. You reached out and steadied yourself, one hand on the bar and the other on your colleague's shoulder as you heaved a sigh. Spencer just smiled begrudgingly and shook his head at you- he was your favorite stick in the mud. It was your first night out with the team in a long while, and they were determined to make up for lost time; that gave Rossi the idea for karaoke night.

It had been just over a month since your boyfriend- well, ex boyfriend- of about a year had left. James had seemed distant and troubled by something for a few weeks, and then he ended things. His breakup had been cruel and abrupt, leaving you confused and hurt. You were completely heartbroken, at first barely able to get out of bed, so now you only forced yourself to do the bare minimum: go to work, try your best to take care of yourself, repeat. It had been your best friend Emily who finally convinced you to come out tonight, reminding you that it had been so long and they all missed you, and at the very least it was an acceptable excuse to get drunk. You missed them too, and letting off a little steam did sound appealing, so you'd hesitantly agreed. After work you rushed home, slipped on your favorite black skinny jeans, silky tank top, and heeled booties. For the first time in a month you curled your hair and applied a good face of makeup, and you had to admit it felt nice to like how you looked tonight.

But now that you were at the karaoke bar surrounded by your teammates, you were having second thoughts. You'd all been sitting around your table when Hotch quietly let you know that you were singing, and it was "non-negotiable". "Perfect," you thought to yourself, "making an ass out of myself is just what I wanted for tonight". Which is precisely when you'd started throwing back your drinks, one after the other, while the team watched in amusement (and for Spencer, slight horror). You didn't have a problem singing in front of people, you knew your voice was pretty good, but you'd just had such a long few weeks that you didn't want to risk any embarrassment. Of course though, you couldn't say no to Hotch, so you'd gone to the DJ and told him your song. You had about 5 minutes to drink until it was your turn. Spencer made sure you sipped your water too, until at last the DJ called your name.

"Alright y/n, get your sexy ass up there!" Emily shouted when it was time to go up.

"Yeah, get it Pretty Girl!" Morgan joined in.

You shot Spencer a look of dread and mouthed "help!" and he just giggled and sipped lightly on his beer.

You took a deep breath, plastered on a smile, and forced yourself to saunter up to the small stage. The familiar sounds of your song flooded the dimly lit bar, the same song that had been playing in your headphones on repeat for the last month. You let the intro music wash over you as you glanced over to your team smiling at you from the table. You didn't even need the lyrics on the monitor; you had been blasting this song an unhealthy amount. Gripping the mic with both hands you shakily began,

I walked through the door with you, the air was cold

But something 'bout it felt like home somehow

And I left my scarf there at your sister's house

And you've still got it in your drawer even now.

As you continued you tried to stay focused- focus on the lyrics, focus on sounding good, focus on anything but him. But the memories consumed you despite your willing them to stop, and as you continued singing softly your mind wandered to James, to all the good days with him.

Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze

We're singing in the car, getting lost Upstate

Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place

And I can picture it after all these days.

You pushed through the images of him in your mind and tried to focus on singing well, but as you sang "I might be okay, but I'm not fine at all" your voice cracked and tears pricked in the corners of your eyes. You kept singing, blinking back a couple tears, trying to avoid looking at your team- your family. You didn't want them to see you like this: broken, weak, crying over a man.

As you sang along to the same words you'd sung a million times this month, you eventually looked over to your team, seeing faces of slight concern, pity, even amusement from your best friends and colleagues. Then your eyes landed on Spencer- your favorite boy genius, the best profiler you knew, and honestly your rock. He was such a source of support, kindness, and light in your life; you should really remember to thank him for being such a wonderful friend. As your gaze met his he didn't look away like the awkward man usually would, he held it there and you could feel his eyes filled with something new, something more. He was transfixed on you, hanging on your every word, even tapping his foot to the music. He looked almost proud that you were up there singing; his expression was a mix of adoration and concern. You shot him a knowing smile as you felt the music intensify, ramping up to the iconic bridge. With that you took a deep breath and let it all out.

Well, maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much

But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up

Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well

Hey, you call me up again just to break me like a promise

So casually cruel in the name of being honest

I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here

'Cause I remember it all, all, all... too well.

Your eyes were now brimming over with tears from the pure catharsis you felt belting out those lyrics. You attempted to finish strong, wiping away any tears that fell as you sang the last verse. It was your favorite part of the song and you didn't even know why. You felt relieved it was over, and satisfied too; that feeling of calm you get after a breakdown washed over you. With a weak smile and a shaky voice you sang,

It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well.

And finally, your song ended. Through teary eyes you shot an apologetic glance at the table where your team was clapping and cheering for you, and on shaky legs made a beeline for the door.

*part 2!*