*••~📂~••*
19.
"Phoenix, Valorion. You're all dismissed from the simulation. Report to central tent. Now."
Halos lahat ng taong nakakita sa nangyari ay napahinto at halata ang gulat sa hitsura. Parang may biglang pumindot ng pause button sa buong simulation field.
Si Elric, hawak pa rin 'yung panga niya, habang si Perzeus, wala ni katiting na makikitang pagsisisi sa mukha niya. His jaw was clenched, chest rising and falling heavily. He's fuming mad.
Si Atlas agad ang unang lumapit. "Putangina, Perzeus," he whispered, not in a scolding tone but more like worried. "Gago, ang daming nakakita."
"He deserved it," sabat ni Baste. "You all heard what he said," dugtong niya, halatang nagpipigil din ng galit.
Elric was still glaring at Perzeus, but he didn't come any closer. He was probably trying to avoid another punch from him.
"Ganiyan pala kayo sa unit niyo?" sigaw ni Calix, ang pang-apat na lalaking miyembro nila, habang nilalapitan kami. "Kaunting init ng ulo, sapakan agad?"
"Kaunting init ng ulo?" Yssa turned to him sharply. "Your leader mocked someone's trauma. If you think that's okay, ewan ko na lang sa values ng unit niyo."
"Psh. Drama lang 'yan," sagot ni Trixie, 'yung isa pang babaeng member nila maliban kay Mira. "You Phoenix kids are too emotional."
I heard Savi scoff. "Better than pretending to be perfect then running your mouth like cowards."
"Perfect?" tumawa si Elric, kahit halatang masakit pa rin ang panga niya. "Don't flatter yourselves. You're nothing but a bunch of misfits who got lucky."
Perzeus stepped forward again, but Atlas quickly held his arm.
"Don't," Atlas muttered. "Not here."
But Perzeus didn't even look at Atlas. He was locked in on Elric. "You talk like you're better than everyone, but all you've ever done is step on people weaker than you. That's not strength, Elric. That's cowardice."
"Cowardice?" ngumisi si Elric. "Says the guy who sucker-punched someone instead of acting like a real agent. You think that makes you righteous?"
"No," sabat ni Atlas, hindi na rin nakapagpigil. "It makes him human, something I'm not sure you still are."
After that, dumiretso na rin kami sa central tent. Tahimik kaming lahat pero umaalingasaw ang tensyon sa bawat paghakbang namin. Nang makapasok kami, bumungad naman sa amin ang kumpletong heads ng operation. Si Commander Silva, Lieutenant Rivas, at si Director Talavero, 'yung laging mukhang gutom pero nakakatakot kapag nagsalita. Lahat sila, seryoso ang mga mukha.
"Punching a fellow agent during a government-sanctioned simulation," panimula ni Commander Silva, nakatingin kay Perzeus. "I expected better."
Perzeus stood straight, hands behind his back. "I accept full responsibility, sir."
Lieutenant Rivas leaned forward. "But you're not apologizing?"
Perzeus didn't flinch. "No, sir. I won't apologize for defending someone from that kind of insult. Especially not after what Elric said."
"Elric might've crossed a line," sabi ni Director Talavero. "But you still laid hands on him. That reflects on your unit, Perzeus."
"Sir," Elric spoke up, smug again. "This wouldn't have happened if their pet project didn't act like a victim all the time."
That was it.
"Putangina mo pala eh," Yssa snapped, stepping forward, but Baste held her back.
"Oh, so now Phoenix is gonna cry again?" ani Trixie. "God, no wonder your unit's reputation is all heart and no spine."
Matthias scoffed. "Better heart than empty pride. Hindi lahat nadadaan sa ego."
Elric turned to me next. "You should toughen up. If you can't take the heat, then maybe you shouldn't be here at all."
I clenched my fists as I took a shaky breath, forcing myself to meet Elric's eyes. "You're not being tough. You're just being cruel."
Elric chuckled bitterly. "Oh, come on. You think the real world cares about your feelings?"
Before I could respond, Savi stepped forward, her tone sharp. "And you think throwing trauma at someone like it's a punchline makes you strong? That just makes you pathetic."
Matthias crossed his arms. "You want people to toughen up? Start by fixing your mouth, bro."
There was a moment of silence, thick with tension. Elric's smirk wavered, but he didn't respond.
"Sir," I said, voice steady but shaking deep inside. "Elric used my trauma against me in front of everyone. I didn't ask Perzeus to hit him, but I won't stand here and pretend that what he said was normal. That wasn't heat, it was cruelty."
Mas hinigpitan ko ang pagkuyom sa kamao ko. Ang dami kong gustong sabihin pero tila may pumipigil sa akin. I don't know, maybe it was the fear of sounding too emotional, or maybe I was just tired of having to explain why it hurt so much.
"You're not a therapist," sabat naman ni Marco, hindi pa rin tapos. "We're soldiers. We're trained to detach."
"Detachment doesn't mean dehumanizing people," sagot ni Atlas, tahimik pero matalim ang tono. "There's a line. He crossed it."
Commander Silva sighed, rubbing his temple. "This is a mess," he said and looked at me, his eyes narrowing slightly. Not out of anger, but like he was trying to gauge just how deep this all went. He exchanged glances with Lieutenant Rivas and the other superior.
"Fine," Rivas finally said. His tone was firm, but not cold. "Elric's words will be addressed separately. But this..." he gestured slightly toward Perzeus. "This is still on the record."
"I understand," I said quietly.
Beside me, Perzeus didn't say a word, but I could feel the tension in his stance. Hindi siya gumagalaw, pero ramdam kong nagpipigil siya.
Director Talavero stepped forward, expression unreadable. "I don't care who started it. But I will not let this escalate any further."
"In that case," dagdag ni Lieutenant Rivas. "No suspension. But both units are benched for the next simulation. You're still allowed to observe and assist, but no physical participation. Got it?"
"Understood," sabay naming sagot ni Perzeus.
"Tsk," said Dain, half under his breath. "Lugi kami sa desisyon na 'to. All because someone can't control his fists."
"Mas okay na 'yun kaysa sa hindi makontrol ang bibig," balik ni Yssa, saka umirap.
"Careful," Elric muttered. "Next time, we won't hold back."
"Neither will we," Perzeus said flatly, eyes still burning. "You touch any of mine again, and it won't just be one punch."
Commander Silva raised his hand. "That's enough. One more word from either unit, and the suspension becomes official. Dismissed."
Bago kami tuluyang lumabas ng tent, nagbigayan pa kami ng masamang tingin sa isa't isa hanggang sa humiwalay na rin kami sa kanila.
"Well, that was intense," bungad ni Savi sa oras na makalabas kami sa central tent. "Tangina ni Elric, masalubong ko lang 'yon sasampigahin ko talaga siya."
"That fucker's really getting on my nerves," sabi naman ni Matthias. "How could he say something like that as an insult? I wouldn't even stoop that low."
"Perzeus," tawag naman ni Savi kay Perzeus habang naglalakad kami. "Ang galing mo kanina. Pero next time, sabihan mo naman kami. Para sabay-sabay tayo."
"Oo nga," sabi naman ni Baste sabay taas ng kamao. "Para saan pa't tinawag tayong team?"
Perzeus shook his head, finally letting out a tiny smile. "I couldn't stop myself. Instinct took over," aniya at sinabayan akong maglakad. "Are you okay?" binalingan niya ako kaya napatingin ako sa kaniya.
"I'm fine," I answered with a weak smile, trying to assure him. But deep inside, I wasn't completely sure if I really was.
He looked at me for a moment, eyes unreadable. "I shouldn't have let it get that far. But the moment he said that about you..." he trailed off, jaw tightening.
"Ikaw lang 'yung naunang gumalaw," sabat ni Yssa mula sa likod. "Pero kung ako 'yung mas nauna, baka hindi lang suntok ang inabot niya."
Napatawa ako nang mahina. Ang sarap sa pakiramdam kapag alam mong hindi ka mag-isa sa laban.
I looked at all of them. The tension was still there, but so was something else. Loyalty. Ang klase ng pagkampi na hindi mo hinihingi pero binibigay nang kusa.
"Thank you, everyone," I said softly. "Really, I'm thankful."
"Tsk. Huwag ka ngang mag-drama riyan," sabay abot ni Baste ng water bottle sa akin. "Kami bahala sa 'yo."
"Ezekiel," muli akong bumaling kay Perzeus nang magsalita ulit siya. "I'm sorry."
Napatigil ako. "For what?"
"I made things worse. I acted on impulse."
I shook my head. "Perzeus... you didn't make it worse. Balak ko rin suntukin ang gagong 'yon, nauna ka lang."
Itinuon niya ang pansin sa nilalakaran namin. "I just... when I heard him say that about you, it's like... everything else disappeared. I didn't care about the rules or the consequences. I just wanted to shut him up."
I looked at him. Honestly, this is the first time I've felt something like this, someone getting mad not because they were insulted... but because someone hurt me.
"Thank you," I said quietly.
"Don't thank me," he whispered. "I'd do it again if I had to."
"I've seen people be cruel, pero ibang level 'yung ginawa ng gagong 'yon. That's not just low, that's fucked up," sabat naman ni Atlas habang naglalakad kami.
"And to think kasama natin siya ngayon sa training. What a waste of uniform," dagdag pa ni Yssa, halatang hindi pa rin nawawala ang inis.
I let out a small breath. I still felt exposed, like everyone who heard what Elric said could see through me now. But when I looked around and saw the people walking beside me, Phoenix, my team... I felt a little less broken.
"If he ever says anything like that again, I won't hold back next time. Even if it means getting suspended," si Perzeus.
We walked in silence for a bit. Not the awkward kind, but the kind that tells you you're not alone in your thoughts. And somehow, despite everything that happened today, despite the shame, the anger, and the chaos, my chest felt lighter.
For the first time, I didn't feel like a burden. I felt... protected.
Nang sumapit ang gabi, tumambay muna ako sa ilalim ng isang puno habang hawak 'yung maliit kong flashlight at tahimik na pinagmasdan ang mga bituin. Walang ka-ulap-ulap kaya kitang-kita ko nang malinaw ang pagkinang ng mga iyon sa langit.
Naramdaman ko naman ang pagdating ni Perzeus. Hindi na ako nagulat. In-expect ko nang lalapit siya sa akin ngayon anumang oras.
"You're still up," he said, not looking at me, his gaze fixed ahead.
"Couldn't sleep," I replied honestly.
"Same reason," sabi niya sabay naupo sa tabi ko. "The view's really nice."
"Yup," I muttered.
Nagtagpo ang mga mata namin bago kami sabay na sumulyap sa langit. There was a beat of silence between us. The kind that wasn't awkward, just... quiet. Like he was letting me have the space to breathe without forcing conversation.
Wala kaming ibang tunog na naririnig ngayon kundi 'yung huni ng mga kuliglig at paminsan-minsang pag-ihip ng hangin sa mga tuyong dahon.
"You handled it well," he said eventually. "Back in the tent. You stood your ground."
I gave a small, humorless laugh. "I was shaking the whole time."
"But you didn't break." He finally looked at me, his voice calm but steady. "That matters more than you think."
I swallowed hard, unsure of what to say. Perzeus was still beside me, arms resting on his knees, slightly leaning forward.
"I hate that it still gets to me," I murmured. "Na kahit gaano ko pilit na burahin, parang... andito pa rin."
"It's not about forgetting," he said quietly. "It's about surviving despite it."
I glanced at him. His profile was calm, but there was a tension in his jaw. A kind of knowing look in his eyes that told me he wasn't just saying it for the sake of it.
"You've been through something too," I said before I could stop myself.
"We all carry something. But not everyone has the courage to speak up. You did."
And somehow, those words, simple as they were, hit harder than any comforting hug.
"You're stronger than you think, Ezekiel. Don't let anyone make you doubt that," aniya saka ngumiti bago muling ibinaling ang tingin sa langit.
I looked at him. 'Yung ilaw ng flashlight ko, tumama sa gilid ng mukha niya, and for some reason, I caught myself admiring how calm he looked even after everything that happened.
And it hit me. My heart was beating faster than usual. Not because I was scared, or because I was anxious.
But because he was... here. With me.
Shit. What the fuck is this feeling?
I looked away immediately. Umubo pa ako para itago ang nararamdamang hiya, umaasang hindi niya napansin ang ginawa kong pagtitig sa kaniya. "L-lamok," maangmangan ko. "Andaming lamok."
He chuckled softly. "Lamok, huh?" he said, obviously not buying it, but choosing to let it slide.
Napakamot ako sa batok, pilit pa ring iniiwasan ang mga mata niya. Tangina mo, Ren. Ano bang nangyayari sa 'yo?
"Thanks, by the way," I said, trying to shift the mood. "For earlier. For... standing up for me."
He remained silent, then he nodded. "You don't have to thank me. I told you, I'd do it again if I had to."
"Yeah, okay," natatawang sabi ko.
He glanced at me again, this time with a softer gaze. "You okay now?"
I hesitated. I could lie, say yes just to end the conversation, but... for some reason, with him, I didn't want to pretend.
"I will be," I answered.
He nodded again, slower this time. "Then I'll stay until you are."
Doon na talaga ako natahimik. Putangina. Ayoko na sanang tumingin sa kaniya, pero ang hirap umiwas.
What the hell is he doing to me?
Hindi ako ganito.
Hindi ako dapat ganito.
I shook my head slightly, pilit na pinapakalma ang sarili ko. You're just confused, Ren. That's all. It's probably nothing.
Inulit-ulit ko iyon sa utak ko.
It's... nothing, Ren. It's not what you think it is. He's your teammate. He's just being nice and concerned. That doesn't mean anything.
Right?
Then I remembered... years ago. That voice. That face. That moment. That... mistake.
Biglang bumigat ang dibdib ko. I forced myself to look at my flashlight instead of him. Tinapik-tapik ko iyon sa palad ko.
Nope. Not again. You're just misreading this. Stop it, Ren.
I clenched my fists. Pinilit kong itapon 'yung nararamdaman pabalik sa kung saan man siya galing. This can't be. Nagkakamali lang siguro ako.
"Ezekiel?" tawag ni Perzeus.
"Hmm?"
"You okay?"
I nodded fast. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. Medyo pagod lang siguro."
He didn't ask more. He just gave me a quick look, like he knew I wasn't being entirely honest, but chose to let it slide.
Nanatili siyang nakatitig sa akin, hanggang sa bumaba ang tingin niya sa labi ko. Hindi ko alam pero may kung anong kinang ang lumabas sa mga mata niya nang sumulyap siya roon. Napansin ko rin ang paggalaw ng adam's apple niya, senyales na napalunok siya.
"Your lips..." aniya na ikinagulat ko.
"Y-yes?" nagtatakang sabi ko. "W-what's wrong with my lips?"
Nanatili siyang nakatingin doon, bago muling ibinalik ang tingin sa mga mata ko. Hindi ko tuloy alam kung anong mararamdaman ko. Para akong kinakabahan na ewan, pero may kung ano ring init na gumagapang sa katawan ko. My heart was pounding so hard, and I was aware of every single breath I took.
"Dry," he muttered softly, almost as if he was talking to himself.
I froze. For some reason, his words felt like a spark to something that was already brewing inside me.
He moved closer to me, his gaze never leaving mine. Everything around us seemed to blur. Wala akong magawa kundi ang tumitig na lang sa kanya, hindi alam kung gagalaw ba o hindi.
"Let me help with that," he whispered, voice deeper than before.
At bago pa ako makasagot, nakita ko na lang na inabot na niya ang mukha ko. His fingers lightly brushed across my bottom lip, just grazing it softly.
Hindi ko alam pero tila may kuryente sa bawat paggalaw ng mga daliri niya. Hindi ko rin tinanggal ang tingin ko sa kanya. His eyes were searching mine, like he was asking for permission, or maybe... waiting for me to make the first move.
My throat went dry, but I didn't want to look away. My chest was tight, and my pulse was racing. His presence was overwhelming, yet I couldn't help but lean in a little, just barely, like I was giving in to something I had no control over.
At that moment, he moved even closer. I didn't pull away. Instead, I felt the distance between us grow smaller, and I knew, without a doubt, that we were no longer just sitting there. There was something more, something I couldn't explain, pulling us toward each other.
And then, his lips were just inches away from mine. For a second, I almost thought he'd back off, that it was all just a passing moment. But no, he didn't. His lips brushed against mine gently, just a soft, fleeting touch.
I could taste him, and it was... addicting. My head spun. His lips moved against mine, slow and deliberate, like he was waiting for me to react, waiting for me to decide if I was okay with this.
My heart skipped a beat, and all I could think about was how close he was, how everything else seemed so distant.
For a moment, I froze. Should I pull away? Should I stop this?
But when he kissed me again, this time more firmly, any thought of stopping left my mind. It felt too good to let go.
His hands found their way to my jaw, his grip firm but gentle, pulling me closer. I was aware of the way his thumb ran along the edge of my cheek, as if memorizing every part of me.
When I felt him deepen the kiss, I couldn't help but respond, letting my own hands come up to rest on his chest. His heartbeat was quick, just like mine.
Everything around us felt suspended in time. No sounds, no distractions, just the heat between us, the urgency building with every second. His lips moved against mine in a way that felt like we were both trying to figure out what was happening, but neither one of us was ready to pull away.
And yet, despite everything that was happening, I couldn't shake the feeling that this was something more than just a kiss. It was a crossing of lines. A moment where everything that made sense before suddenly didn't.
His breath was heavy when he pulled away, just a few inches from my face. I could see the look in his eyes, something wild, something unspoken.
Shit. What the hell am I doing?
I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. The weight of the moment hung between us, and I couldn't find the words.