[p o e t r y]

I've heard people
Describe the feeling
That they feel
When they want out
As itching

But I must ask
Do you ever feel
As though you're
Burning
Furious and anxious
Burning from the inside out
Like you can't be here
A second longer
Or you'll suffocate

I feel as though my lungs
Are alight
I feel as though
Predictability and mediocracy 
Are holding
Me under the waves of life
And I am suffocating
Drowning
In the mundane

I want out
I cannot grow up
And be like my family
I will burn alive
From the inside out

There has to be more
Than just marrying your sweetheart
Grabbing a beer with your buds
Having a family cookout
And working a job 6 days a week
Oh my gosh
I see this life
And my chest aches with fire
I feel so tired
That I could sleep
For years
I feel so scared
That I could jump
Off of the heights of my fear
And never land
I can't live like this
I can't grow up to be like them

I love my family
I love how they dance to records
And live in endearing houses
So full of dog hair,
Dust, and memories
But I don't want to be them
When I grow up
I just...
I burn at the idea
Of living for a beer with a bud
And living for a new record
And living for the next
Yearly family reunion

There has to be more
I cannot live my life
In such a mundane way
I have to live before I can settle
I ache for a life
That is unpredictable
I burn
My chest burns for a better life
An unpredictable life
A life where
I fall far from the tree

(05/28/21)