The Code of Aries ?

(41) It Doesn't Matter

"Wedding? Blaine's?"

"That fucker invited me and wanted me to be part of his groomsmen. Of course, I declined, but I still went to the damn wedding. He was dear to me. I just had to go," Aries says before laughing at himself as if he remembered something humorous about that event. "After his wedding, he gave me the blue headband that he got during freshman orientation that had the number 22, and then told me that he always knew that I liked him."

Wait, Blaine knew?

And then he still invited Aries to the wedding?

Well, it's either he's an actual asshole, or he just wanted Aries to see the path he chose so he could finally get over him. After all, first love is sometimes a curse, so maybe this is his way to say, "This is the end for us, Aries. I hope you find your own ending." It's cruel, but I guess it's for the best for both of them.

"He knew, and he fucking apologized. It was definitely something Blaine would do, so I wasn't even mad at him for hiding it after all those years," Aries continued to jokingly say with a smile, but I could almost hear the pain in those words when he said them.

"That's when I finally realized that the thing with Diane was never gonna work out. I will never be straight, and I will never be the man my parents want me to be. That's why I broke it off with her," Aries says, now turning to look at me again.

"I'm bad with feelings and confessions. And when things start to get serious, I tend to walk away because I'm afraid they'd walk away first," Aries says as he looks straight into my eyes that sparkle in the night.

I can tell that he's putting all his heart and soul into saying these words out loud. I can tell how serious he is and how certain he is, and that certainty made my own heart beat even faster.

"I don't know how to properly tell someone I like them. I don't know how to express my feelings because I'm afraid of fucking it up and getting hurt. I keep hiding from people who gets too close to unlocking me, but Dom..." Aries stops, and soon after, tears pour out of his eyes again.

I stare at him as he wipes his eyes with his bare hands. I wanted to reach out to him, but I stopped myself and just clenched my fist, allowing him to have this much-needed moment to let it all out. But as tears continue to pour out of Aries's eyes, he finally looks back at me with such innocence and fear that's covered with certainty and determination.

"I really...really...like you, Dom. And I desperately want to be with you," he finally reveals, and at that moment, a breath of relief escapes my mouth, and everything around me just stops.

"I like how you look at me with those eyes that scream you like me too. I like how you're careful yet outspoken and real. I like how you always ask me if I'm okay or if I want to do something or not. I like how you give me space but hold me tight when I need it the most. I like how you're determined and hardworking, and you're not afraid to do things for the sake of your loved ones. I like you...Dom. And I'm so afraid that you'll realize that I'm just a lonely moon in a universe where you shine the brightest. I'm afraid that you'll get tired of me. I'm afraid that—"

Before Aries can even finish his sentence, I immediately hold onto his shoulders to stop him from saying anything further. My hands trembled, and my heart was a moment away from exploding. But I swallowed those negative feelings down as I stared into Aries's eyes.

"You finally said it," I say as my own tears blur my vision. "Aries Buan...You are the moon that shines on my darkest nights. And in the universe that I crave to explore, you are the only reason why I am brave enough to fly toward it. I already told you, if you are afraid...let me be afraid with you."