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The Remembered Memories

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I hate to admit it, but if I wasn't dealing with internal conflict I might have questioned why Lestat asked me to marry him when he did, but at the time I just thought he was putting me first for once by letting us marry in Paris.

But at the time I chose to ignore the questioning I felt and Lestat and I arrived in Paris ready to get married... but it wouldn't be in the way I expected- it wouldn't be the way I wanted.

Lestat held my hand as we walked across Paris. It was night and there was hardly anyone about, yet a strange feeling of déjà vu kept us company.

I was content, I was starting to forget about past events and focus on the present. I was in love, engaged and powerful- what more could a woman ask for? I thought

Lestat led us to a very familiar street and I smiled as I saw the familiar cobbles.

It hadn't been changed- it hadn't been replaced by new fashionable concrete- my feet felt the familiar cobblestones as we walked down the road.

"Do you remember this place?" Lestat asked as he came to a stop.

With my hand in his I stopped as well.

"Of course I remember" I said as I looked up at the tall apartment building above us.

And I saw it.

I saw the window- my window. And I smiled.

Everything around me slowly melted and faded- the noise of the wind, the distant buzz of businesses closing- all of the noises of Paris melted away and I was back watching myself paint by that window with nothing but my internal clock ticking.

I remembered the way I felt when I painted and the way I felt knowing I was on a timer. I remembered the feeling of hopelessness, pain, joy, happiness, discomfort, sadness- I remembered the way I used to feel.

Then slowly I started to remember the day I saw Lestat and Nicky walking the street. I remembered the day all my human feelings changed and my human life timer ran out, but a different one started ticking- the one that would never end... the one I didn't think would end.

Suddenly I snapped out of my head at the feeling of Lestat placing a hand on my back.

My eyes met his as he gave me a soft smile and slowly wiped a red tear from my face I hadn't realised had fallen.

"It's yours again" he said in barely a whisper

"What?" I asked as I looked at him in the confusion of coming out of a daydream I didn't realise I was in

"Your apartment- it's yours- I bought it back for you" he said

I looked at him with wide eyes before I looked at the building

"But I don't understand- I thought I owned it. I bought it all those years ago when we moved-"

"They were going to knock it down- the humans have no concept of art and they wanted to knock down the old building" Lestat said "I bought it for you- the whole building my love"

My face suddenly morphed into a giant smile and I through my arms around his neck.

He chuckled as his arms slithered around my waist and he let me jump up and down in his hold

"How did you know it was for sale?" I asked after a minute- still with a smile on my face as I pulled back to look at him

"Well they sent a letter informing you a few months ago, but I hid it" he said "I wanted to do this without your knowledge to surprise you"

My eyebrows raised as I looked at him but I ended up shaking my head

It didn't matter how, it didn't matter why, Lestat had bought me a gift- he had thought of me and bought me the one material object I desired more then anything.

I lent forward and kissed his lips with happiness. My hands clasped either side of his head as my shoulders practically covered my ears.

I pulled away as I smiled and I looked at the building

"You have done good my love" I said with a laugh "truely amazing"

I smiled as my cheeks reached my eyes and I bit my lip to contain myself.

I span to face Lestat once more- about to ask for the keys- when I saw him looking at me with a strange look and a small smile.

I scrunched my eyebrows together as I tilted my head

"You don't care why I got it for you?" He asked

"I simply thought it was a just because present- because you knew how much I love this place-" I spoke with a smile

"It's a wedding present" Lestat said as he cut me off

It was quiet between us as I struggled to keep the smile on my face

"Oh." I said "well, thank you my love, it's wonderful"

I stepped over to him as I wrapped my arms around him, a way to turn my face away from him as I stared off.

A wedding present- I knew it was too good to be true.

I should have been happy at the thought of Lestat and my wedding... I should have... but I couldn't help but thinking about what he had done:

The one place I had that reminded me of my human life- my life before him- he had taken and found a way to add himself into and change.

But I pulled the smile back on my face and I stepped away from him. No I was grateful and happy he had thought of me and purchased the apartment block- I was really happy, I was happy... why wasn't I happy?

...
"Victoria?"

"Victoria?"

"Victoria!"

Suddenly my eyes meet Molloys.

I allow myself a minute to get my bearings as I blink a few times.

"You just kind of stopped talking there" Molloy says with a small awkward chuckle of confusion and maybe slight worry "you spoke about your train ride and then you just went silent" he says as he tilts his head to look at me "you only just gor to the part when you and Lestat exited the train"

I look at him in confusion- hadn't I just told him about the apartment?

"Where did I get up to?" I ask as I touch my ear

"You just stepped off the train with Lestat like I said" Molloy says once more

What?

What was happening to me?

I nod at Molloy and pretend that I had just disassociated, but inside I realised something.

When Molloy first came to my home I was cocky, confident and sure of myself and my love for Lestat- now I was unsure and remembering bits of our life I had forgotten or pushed down.

What was happening to me? Was I... was I feeling like a human again? Was I remembering things i had lost to time again? And was remembering these memories a good or a bad thing?

 was I feeling like a human again? Was I remembering things i had lost to time again? And was remembering these memories a good or a bad thing?

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