video message || minizerk || completed

'This is the third message I've recorded now. The other two just weren't... Right. Not for thi-'

'Simon?'

'Shit- Josh, hey.' I said, leaning over to switch off the camera.

'Sorry, were you recording?! I didn't realise! I'll go.'

'No- Don't go. It was just a Q&A' The irony hurt. A lot.

He smiled at me, sat down on the bed as I swung my chair round to face him.
He was looking intently at my face, and a smile was painted on his lips, but I could still see the dark circles under his eyes. I could see the sleeves pulled over his arms.

'What's up?' I asked, smiling.

'Nothing. I just wanted to see you.'

I blushed, looking away.
How the fuck did he do that? How did he manage to make me feel so... So high, and so low, all at the same time?

'How did you sleep?' I asked. I knew the answer already.

'Alright.'

I looked up at him. I knew he was lying. I had taken to staying awake at night, waiting for his breathing to slow- and last night it hadn't, not until about 7am. Even when it did, it was still hitched and irregular.

Nightmares.

He stood up, and placed a kiss on my head.

'Record. You haven't posted in a while- people will worry.'

I smiled sadly as he got up and left the room.
Why is he so good to me, but so bad to himself?

~~