Quartet Of Misery {A Steven Universe reader insert}

As you stand there contemplating what the heck just happened, the other gems join you, looking at the crater left behind by the ship. I don't quite know what you feel, since i'm just the writer, but Azurite, Jade and Tourmaline are thoroughly disgusted.

'Did you see that?! They even sent another Peridot to replace me! I'm so dead. So dead!' Peridot screams in blind terror.

'Ehm...i don't think this has anything to do with you, Peridot...' Pearl says questioningly.

'Excuse me? Then....what are they after that is as important as me? I mean, i did insult Yellow Diamond after all.'

Should we tell them? I mean, it is important knowledge...

Yes. Though let's keep the... weird part out of it. It would just bring extra needless disgust and awkwardness to future conversations.

Well, let's just do that. You are the smart one after all.

Is that a...compliment?!

WHAT?! N-n-no! Just s-stating a f-fact! I don't give compliments, you idiot!

Desperately trying to keep your mouth straight, you explain the situation to the gems, minus the part about your discovery about the Peridot's feelings. After hearing that that Peridot created you, you swear you can see a look of infernal rage on Garnets face, while the other gems try to comfort you.

After that is over, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl and Steven return to the temple, while you are left alone with an emotionless Lapis Lazuli and a freaked-out Peridot, who aren't exactly good company at the moment.

How about we....go to town for now? I-it's been a while after all.

I agree.

Guess i don't have much of a choice.

So you decide to go walk to Beach City, to lift your spirits a bit. Once you arrive there, the first thing you do is go get something to eat (carefully avoiding the fry shop to stop Tourmaline from trying to steal all their mustard).

After a bit of walking, you end up by the big donut and ask Sady to bring you some donuts and pie and assure them the gems will pay for it. (You are now to big to enter the store.)

After that, you run into Greg, who had been looking for you. According to him, Steven told him you can't fit in your room anymore, so he got you a present, namely a small cottage at the edge of town, where no one would bother you. He tells you that  appearently his old manager gave him a ton of money, so he can afford it.

You thank him profoundly and enter trough the (enlarged) door, only to see that all your posessions had already been placed there. As you lay down on the bed,looking at your only gem trophy, you finally get some very well-deserved sleep...if you don't have any weird dreams about Lapis, that is.

Heya,its Ghostly, and to make up for this filler chapter, it's here, live from the gem rooms in your consciousness,the DIIIIIID YOU KNOW? Show! *Sardonyx pose*

- did you know: Jade is actually Underswap Sans in disguise?

Wait what? No i'm not! * takes a bite out of his hotdog* ....ridiculous.

-Jasper is currently living trough every embarrasing moment you ever tried to forget?

'WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU HUMANS?!'

-Azurite likes overwatch, especially Zenyatta?

S-so peacefull.....so calm...and a robot.... wow.
W-wait, people can read this?!

-Tourmaline likes Dangan Ronpa?

I don't like anything you humans make!!! S-shut up! I'm not taking this from the guy who's afraid of going down ladders!

H-hey, what the? Seriously, that's a low blow!

Aaanyway, did you know that

-the two other versions of your biggest fan were: 'hit the white diamond' , wich was basically the episode, and was scrapped due to lack of originality and barn amalga-mates, wich was basically you kicking Lapis out of the barn, wich i scrapped because whenever i tried to write it, it became a full-on fictional argrument, wich was kind of offensive.

- Jade dreamed to be in the royal- ehm, i mean diamond guard? But she and the other jades were made to build statues.

I guess the diamonds didn't see how amazing i am. But Rose learned me i can guard whatever i want, including earth!

Can't blame the diamonds, i can't see it either.

*we are experiencing mild mental difficulties*

-that Azurite likes to ship real people?

I think Garnet x Tourmaline would work, or maybe it would be onesided...oh, oh! Maybe if we do some effort, we can make it a triangle with Jade! Or......
*it does not look like she'll stop anytime soon*

-Tourmaline is afraid of-
*THUNK*

You will NOT finish that sentence!

Hmm, last thing....hehehe.

Did you know that Jade tries to ship herself with Garnet and Pearl? How saaaaaaad.

Oh, jealous?

Jealous? ME?! how DARE you, you sad excuse for a gem!

At least i don't want to kiss a monochrome teddybear, miss edgy!

WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

*fighting sounds in the background*

-And if pearl would join in, would that make it a love square, or-

*wakes up* uuuuugh...this is getting out of hand...see you next time, stay aweso- *gets jade thrown against his head*