Disproving Calculations - Part 1

Learning more about feelings

"Hodgins, how did you do this... stuff?"
It's actually really good. I finished my second glass by now.
He explains to me, how he did it.
"Why are you here, actually?" Booth asks me after Hodgins finished explaining and turned around to talk to Angela. Zack is still busy with his cake.
"Um, I baked the cake you're eating."
"Oh, nice. That's a good reason. Great cake, by the way."
"Thank you, Agent Booth." That may have sound a little cold, but not too much I think.
An hour later, everyone gets tired. They worked the whole day, it's almost 10 now. I feel like party, but Zack seems to be totally wiped out. Angela and Hodgins want to leave, so we have to as well, anyway.
"They want to have sex again, right?" He speaks slower than usual, better for me, because it's much harder to understand anyone in this country for me when my brain is influenced by alcohol.
"They want." I answer while we go along the last floor. He takes my hand. I think about the moment we had in his room. I'm less surprised now, more happy. When we're outside, he talks like crazy. God, did the fresh air give him a kick or what's that? I hardly understand anything. He ends with "Right?" Oh boy. We again stand outside Hodgins car, Hodgins waiting inside, Angela waits for my response.
"Okay. You know how your brain works slower, when you're drunk?
When that's slow, what just came out of him... I don't want to know what normal is like. He nods, I get in, signing him to do so. In the car, I go on
"So yes, you know, being drunk makes me feel more German, like I start thinking on German and stuff... I'm usually always with other German people when I'm drunk. And maybe I' m a little drunk. Anyway, I didn't understand anything you just told me. I'm sorry, really."
He needs to think about it. Angela chuckles in the front seat.
"What did he say?" I ask her.
"He explained what I explained to you before, about the drink. Only more detailed. He thought you might have some questions."
Hodgins tells me. Now I laugh with Angela.
"Really, Zacky. I'm sorry. You just talked so fast and there was so much chemical stuff in it..."
He remains silent. Oh boy. I fucked this up.
"He asked something else, after explaining that." Angela finally tells me.
"I think I got stuck on the part with the process of extracting the alcohol..."
"Ask her again, sweetie." Angela says to Zack. And then I'm surprised again.
"I think I will ask her again, when we're alone. You were not supposed to hear that." Wow, did he just found his own privacy limit (you know what I mean?)? Angela seems to be surprised too, Hodgins is busy driving, but smiling about the conversation. Angela starts making fun about my problems with the language after only two of Hodgins' drinks. That makes at least the rest of the ride a less strange.

When we finally get out of the car and Hodgins and Angela are gone the same second, I reach for his hand. I'm still not sure if he's angry with me. But he lets me holding his hand until we're in the living room.

"I'm sorry." I say again. I really, really am. "I could have asked you to speak slower."
"I'm not upset. I think I can understand how you felt." Wow, cool. "My last question before was, 'You were angry with Booth, because he was mean to me, right?'"
Wow again. "Yes. And because he said I was 'unnormal' in a way probably similar to how he says it to you. And then we talked about that this morning, and I felt like he must be a terrible person."
"You felt like that?"
"Yes... now, I think, he's actually nice, but he can't cope with you being so smart."
I can't explain that in more detail now.
"What do you want to do?" I ask.
The party mood is gone, I want to sleep. I wonder how he feels after three pieces of chocolate cake and three of Hodgins drinks.
"To be honest, I don't feel really well." That's not surprising.
"So, we go to bed?"
"If that's okay for you."
"Yes, absolutely." Not ten minutes later, we lay there again. We start with one shared blanket now, but he has the second one on his side, just in case.

"How do you feel?"
"I'm not sure."
"You gonna puke?"
"No. People puke because of chocolate cake?"
"Good and yes, they do. What kind of stomach do you actually have that you don't feel like throwing up after all that cake and drinks..."
Our hands rest on his chest. I watch how they move with his breathing.
"I don't know. What do you think happened when we were in my room at the lab?"
"You mean what the others did then?"
"No. I meant actually in the room."
"I have no idea, really. Maybe it was... somehow... I don't know, very romantic?"
He smiles up to the ceiling, his eyes already closed. "I like romantic things."
I can't even move to kiss him goodnight, so I just squeeze his hand "Me too."