Connor x reader

Warning: suicide attempt, heavy angst

This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen, and everything happened in a matter of seconds. Both you and Connor were chasing a wanted killer a few minutes ago and now you were
beneath Connor, his lifeless eyes staring down at you. You would be dead by now if it weren’t for Connor who sacrificed himself for you.

You had been slow to react. The killer had its gun pointed at you, ready to shoot, but Connor ran in front of you and shielded you with his own body. With one single shot to the back of his head, the heavy impact made him push you and make fall to the ground.

“C-Connor?” Those were the only words you could only let out as you stared at his stiff body above you. Your mind, filled with guilt and uneasiness, was unable to take in the death of your partner and lover. This was your fault and there was nothing to make him come back.

----------

That same day of Connor’s death, you had requested to take a few days off once you had returned to the station. Captain Fowler had been hesitant at first but seeing the sorrow in your eyes, he agreed to let you leave. Empty and your mind somewhere else, you began to walk home as the rain soaked your already cold body. The
tears falling from your eyes were masked by the crying sky. There was no way to hold them back anymore.

Once home, you slowly got rid of your clothes, dropping them to the floor without a care. There’s no reason to care about anything anymore, you told yourself.

You let yourself drop to your knees, your knees caps cried out in pain at the hard impact but there was no need to care about that. Connor was gone, and he wouldn’t come back,
because of your own fault.

Hugging your knees to your chest, you sobbed harder than ever, letting out pained yells that echoed through your small house. You rocked back and forth where you were, not able to get Connor out of your mind. All those moments with him where he would intensely stare at you while Hank tried to get his attention back, the jokes you would tell him that would go over his head, the way he held your hands and gazed at you-

This horrendous pain in your chest was just too much to bare.

But what if… you ended it?

Determined to end the suffering, you wobbled as you stood on your feet and you made your way towards your bathroom. Spotting the razor that was in your bathroom tub, you broke the razor and took a hold of one, single blade.

Before you could place it near your wrist, you heard a hard knock at your front door. You tried to ignore them and get this done over with, but they were persistent, still knocking at the door. With a heavy exhale, you placed the blade on your sink and put dry clothes, so you could tell the person that you weren’t in the mood for visits. Slowly opening the door, you were about to speak until you
realized who it was.

It was Connor. Alive and well with a worried look on his face.

It was as if you just had been punched in the stomach and all the air had been knocked out of you. As you frantically tried to get away from the person before you, you tripped on your own two feet, tears starting to come out again.

“No… No! I saw you die today! In front of me a-and it was my fault!” You loudly protested. Connor madly shook his head at you and he bolted towards you, trying to calm you down.

“No, please! Let me explain!” As hard as he tried, Connor couldn’t stop your thrashing aimed at him, attempting to make him go away. Knowing that this wouldn’t work, he took you in a tight embrace, making you freeze.

“Please… I know this is hard for you to take in, but if I explain myself, you will be able to understand,” he pleaded at you as he held you tight. Calming a bit down, your mind went back to this exact moment, taking in the feel of his body against yours and how his arms cradled you. Was this really him? The same Connor that had being on a mission with you a couple of hours ago?

You were reluctant to let your hands touch him, to feel his skin and the softness of his brown locks which you loved to play with.

“C-Connor… is this really y-you?” He pulled away from you, still holding on to your arms. The android locked his eyes with yours while his lips quivered.

“Yes, this is m-me. E-Every time I am destroyed, CyberLife sends another Connor with my previous memories
intact.” As you stared at his eyes, you couldn’t detect a single lie coming from him. Tears forming in your swollen, red eyes, you let yourself crash against his chest and cry out once again as Connor draped his arms around your shaking body. This time, you cried out of relief to have him back.