Back To You ?River Phoenix?

River's lips hovered over mine. One hand was tangled in the hair above my ear, the other on the small of my back. His blonde overhang gently brushed against my forehead. His clear-rimmed glasses sat on his perfect nose, and his blue eyes pierced into my brown ones. The golden light from no source in particular made him seem like an angel.

"Why him?" He asked seductively. His warm breath tickled my lips mercilessly and I felt my body curve into his. "Why not me?"

"You were with Martha before I could confess." I say breathlessly, entranced by everything about him.

"I'm in love with you, Lydia. I've been from the beginning."

We begin to pull into a kiss when he's jerked out of my arms. I watch in horror as River stands in front of me and begins deteriorating, slowly but surely.

His cheeks become hollow. His skin becomes rough and gray. His clothes begin to hang off of his body, which is becoming bony and skinny. His hair gets rough and shriveled, his blue eyes dulling out.

If this wasn't already causing me to back away, the room became dark and small, closing in on me and the strangely jacked up River, pushing us closer together. Then, we're on pavement.

I can't move. I'm frozen as the black walls shrink. River's figure is dropped harshly onto the floor, and he starts screaming. Bloodcurdling screams.

Then, he's collapsing and jerking around on the ground. His mouth is foaming, his eyes rolling back in his head. Tears are rolling down my eyes as I struggle to breathe. The only sounds I hear are his loud screams, bouncing around the pavement floor. Everything becomes black. I can't hear anything except for River's screams, echoing over and over again in my mind.

Then I jerk awake.

Sweat is gathered in beads on my forehead, and I'm panting. Wil's awake, his arms around me. He had been the one to wake me, I realized, by shaking my shoulders.

"Lydia, are you okay?" He asks, his hands resting on my upper arms and sending calming waves through my body.

"Y-yes. Yeah. I'm okay." I stutter. Wil raises his thumb to my face and gently wipes away my tears, which I had apparently been crying in real life. "How'd you know to wake me?"

"Your breathing was getting really fast and you were stiff as a board. Then you were shaking and stuff- c'mere."

I crawl onto him, putting my legs on either side of his torso. He hugs me, his chin sitting on my shoulder. I rest my head on his shoulder as well, wrapping my arms around him.

"I hate nightmares." He mutters.

I pull my head back, him doing the same. He closes his eyes and leans his head back on the couch in a calm manner, and I admire the way the moonlight hits his perfect skin. I was so lucky.

Yet, I couldn't help but imagine the scene from my dream where River almost kissed me. My body felt electric- everywhere he touched me tingled with a sort of burning, longing, feeling.

But I had Wil, right here. Right now.

I leaned my head down to kiss him, he responds immediately, sitting up straight. My hands gravitate to the back of his neck, his to my lower back. We continue to kiss.

He flicks his tongue across my bottom lip and I give him access, finally getting what I wanted earlier. The kiss becomes heated, his hands beginning to move restlessly up and down my back.

Wil moves down and places a kiss on my jawline, my head bending the opposite direction in pleasure. He moves down, reaching my neck and soon my shoulder. I draw in a deep breath of pleasure and we stop the minute footsteps echo in the hall.

River ambles in, looking messy and tired. I turn as red as Nicole's hair and gently slide off of Wil's lap before River could see what we were up to.

"You two are awake?" He asks, squinting.

"Yeah, I had a freaky dream. I'm gonna go sit on the porch, actually." I say nervously. Wil nods and sends me a small smile as I exit the living room.

It's cold. Not see-your-breath cold, more like early November cold. I sigh, leaning against one of the old poles on the porch.

As I stay in silence, I reflect on why I'm here.

Now, it's hard to grasp the fact that I'm from the future. I tend to forget that a lot. I've only got around six years left to save River from himself- but that seems like enough time. It's alright if I'm with Wil, too.

There's a spark with Wil, and I know it.

If I'm a good enough friend to River, I'm sure he'll listen to me when the time comes.

The old wood freaks as someone approaches me. I expect Wil's arms to wrap around me, him placing his head on my shoulder lovingly as always, but the figure moves over to the opposite pole.

It's River.

"Thank you so much for the guitar." He states quietly.

"It's no problem, really. You deserved it."

"Yeah, but it's more than that."

I look at him quizzically, silently begging him to go on. His voice is so quiet and calm. I could listen to him for hours.

He runs a hand through his hair, "We're going to be leaving Madras next year."

"So like... moving?"

"Yeah."

"Where?"

"Well, it's not for sure, but my dad found this ranch in Gainesville, Florida, that he thinks would suit us well. He thinks it'll bring us together again."

"And they have the money to pay for it?"

"I have the money to pay for it." He says softly. A few puzzle pieces click together in my mind, and he continues. "That's why the guitar means so much to me. The shop is closing, and I'm never going to come back here. We've lived here for a pretty long time, so leaving will be hard."

"I understand. I don't..." my voice trails off.

I was going to say that I didn't really have a home to go back to, which was true. Since that summer in '85 I'd been staying in hotel rooms and my uncles house on and off, not seeing a lick of my mother and brother.

The only family I had left was my uncle, and the thought began to scare me. I was only two years away from turning eighteen and I didn't even have a stable career— hell, I didn't even know what I was doing with my life.

Then it dawned on me- I had no idea what my future held.

"Lyd, are you okay?"

"Hmm?"

"You looked worried. Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, Riv. I am."

He smiled when I called him Riv. I hadn't done that in a while. River walked up to me and enveloped me in a hug, and I returned it immediately. I took a breath, savoring everything in the moment.

His body was warm and he smelled amazing. My eyes closed in pure etcasy, until he pulled away.

"Goodnight, Lydia."

"Goodnight, River."