Back To You ?River Phoenix?

For the first time in forever, things seemed to be looking up for the both of us. River and I were happy. And I kept getting happier with every day that I stayed. I hadn't even slept in the guest room at all- I'd always end up in his room, in his arms. Every time we rolled down a hill or ran through a field, I'd feel a rush of joy. And when we would cook together, or he'd go over all of the cheapest apartment options in LA, I'd feel so grateful for him that my heart would melt. 

River and I weren't dating, but we must've been something close. Because behind the scenes, inexplicable urges crept up on us and often times, we'd find our lips connected, something urging us to explore. But we didn't get far, solely content with soft and gentle touches.

One rainy night, River and I ran hand in hand into his bedroom, his laughter filling the room and his blue eyes shining with mirth. He spun me around and shut the door behind us, his arms latched onto me as we tumbled onto the bed.

"You're crazy." I giggle breathlessly.

He smiles, sighing happily in response. I watch his shoulders relax, his whole body following suit.

I sigh as well, a big grin on my face as I look at him. He shuts his eyes and allows his smile to become more mellow. As he does, I admire the utter perfection that is River Phoenix.

My thoughts drift, though. I may be happy now, but I have to remind myself not to forget what could come later. My future is still unstable, and the only way I can make money is film... and unfortunately...

My shoulders tense. Desperate to do something, I reach down and pull my socks off. River shifts positions beside me, lying on his back with his hands behind his head. I drum my nails against my knee, wondering if River has any way to make money. Surely he does- he always keeps mighty busy.

"Doing anything next year, Riv?" I inquire, trying to stem the shakiness in my voice.

"A film called Dogfight." He responds casually.

Ah. "Anything else?"

"Well, this guy Gus came up to Keanu— you know who he is?"

I shake my head. Keanu? What's that? Hawaiian?

River continues, "He worked on I Love You Too Death with me— you'll have to meet him, he's amazing. Such a kind person. Anyways, a director called Gus Van Sant came up to us with this script— it's incredibly poetic— the whole script is, I mean.."

"That's epic." I pause. "Are you going to do that one, too?"

"I do want to. For fun, I suppose..." He scrunches up his nose, "because I'm sure that it's not going to go mainstream. "

So maybe it isn't that steady of an income source. God, Lyd, stop worrying and change the subject. "Is Keanu going to do it?"

"Lets just say that I have to put a lot of trust in him. What are you doing next year? I heard you talking to Gus earlier today."

I go over my itinerary for a few seconds, faintly remembering the happy voice proclaiming that I'd got the part. "Well, Gus signed me up for some film, and I got the part I auditioned for."

"That's great! Where is it?"

"I probably won't be able to afford to fly out," I sigh softly, "it's in Idaho."

He gasps, sitting up in a wild flurry of blonde hair. "I'm filming in Idaho too."

"Right- it's in the name, huh?" I muse, still downcast.

"Yeah." He laughs, "so, maybe you could stay with me."

"That'd be... that'd be unreal." I sigh, staring up at the ceiling.

I can see in the corner of my vision that he's still looking in my direction. I close my eyes, reminding myself of the debts I'd be if I invested in this movie, flying out and such. It was impossible- but I desperately needed the money.

As I sulk to myself, I feel River's hand snake into mine, interweaving our fingers. I try to let his touch calm me, but it doesn't do much good. My shoulders are still taut with worry, and it's beginning to make a knot in my back ache.

"Lydia, you need to stop worrying." River says calmly, beginning to gently massage the tense muscles on my shoulders. "It's going to be fine. I can pay for your flight."

"No, you won't. I have to take care of-"

"Darling, you've been taking care of yourself since you were fourteen," he chuckles, "Just let me help you. It won't cost me anything- I promise."

He sounds so sure... I close my eyes as his hands work magic, causing me to melt into his touch.

"That's it, relax." The tone of his voice calms me, and soon I feel his warm breath in the crook of my neck. He places a kiss there, sweet and lingering. "We'll get through this together."

"You're too good..." I murmur as his hands locate the dip of my waist.

His lips move up and reach my jawline, his voice smooth and low. There's no response, and I can tell where he's trying to go with this.

"Riv-" I gasp as his lips meet a sweet spot. "Riv- babe- your siblings! They're home now- they're right downstairs-"

"Watching a movie." He replies shortly, kissing the corner of my lips.

I hold back a smile and push on his chest. "Not for long they aren't."

"Well, you aren't too loud." He winks. I slap him lightly. He wouldn't know whether or not I was loud. "What? Star Wars is loud enough. We'll be fine, love."

I give in with a final sigh of protest and melt into one of his amazing kisses, weaving my hands through his silken blonde hair. The kiss quickly becomes more heated, leading into something amazing as his tongue flickers across my bottom lip. He slides me onto his lap as I give him access to explore my mouth, pressing our heads closer together, if possible.

My entire body feels as though it's caught aflame, my heart pounding against my chest. River pulls away and attaches his lips to my collar bone, attacking the sensitive skin. I groan- the feeling is consuming. Wil had never treated me like this before- he got straight to the point. 

My stomach feels as though it has tension knotting up within it. In an animalistic move, I surprise myself and roll my hips out against his. The low rumble I feel from his throat nearly kills me and I hungrily press my lips against his, begging for more. We become engrossed in each other's movements, and soon we're lost in our own world, oblivious to the door opening.

"Are we interrupting something?"

Crap.

I stumble backwards, off of River and onto the mattress.

Rain and Joaquin stand in the doorway. They don't look scarred, so maybe we're in the clear. My face is hot with blush and I don't think I've ever felt this embarrassed in my life.

"When did this start?" Rain laughs. I wince and bury my head in the comforter.

River chuckles lightly, steering away from that. "Ever heard of knocking?"

"We didn't think we'd need to knock!" Joaquin retorts. I sit up and let out a sigh, rubbing my temples.

River wraps his arm around my shoulders, and I look at him, smiling slightly at the sheer absurdity of the situation.

Rain smiles. "Oh, I knew it! Mom could tell too— gosh, you should've told-"

"We aren't dating. Yet." I interrupt hastily. "I-I thought you guys were watching Star Wars."

"Yeah, but we got bored." Joaquin holds up a box. "And Monopoly is boring with two people."

I laugh, pulling out of River's grasp to sit against my pillows and make room for them. River pokes his bottom lip out and I shake my head, smiling and motioning for him to come sit with me.

"Well, we can play with you guys." I allow River to pull my back against his chest, holding me close to him.

Smiles spread across both of his sibling's faces as they sit down on the bed with us. We played until the earliest hours of the morning. Later that day, I'd awake curled up against River with a monopoly mess at my feet, surrounded by the people that I knew as my family.