IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES Book 2

****Just wanted to let you guys know, it is going to be a while before I update again. So if you don't hear from me for a while, don't think its because I have forgotten you. I haven't. Please be patient with me. Luv you guys****

AUGUST P.O.V. –

“You forgive Pop-Pop for yesterday?” I had Sata on my lap but she was fidgety trying to get away from me to crawl on the couch.

“Sata.” I tried to pull her back up on my lap.

She tried to wiggle away.

“Give Pop-Pop kiss.” I stood her up on her legs and tried to kiss her but she didn’t pucker up like usual. She moved her face side to side and tried to push me away.

“Why you doing Pop-Pop like that?” She started kicking and crying.

“Sata. I’m your daddy.” I looked at her trying to figure out what was wrong.

She kept fidgeting trying to get away from me. She wouldn’t stop crying.

Amb came out the bed room.

“Aww Munch come on.” She picked her up and Sata stopped crying. She played with straps of her tank.

Amb took her in the room with her, got some toys from Sata’s crib and played with Sata on the bed. All you heard was Sata giggling and clapping loudly.

Even my daughter could feel I was a fucking failure. I got up and decided to go outside and clear my head. I went to my car down stairs, got my hookah pen out my trunk, then sat in my car and inhaled.

I hit my head against the head rest a couple of times in frustration, then let out a deep sigh. Even with Amb trying to make it better yesterday, I just feel didn’t feel right about it. I felt like I was letting her down. I don’t know why when it came to her I was so insecure. I after all provided for the girls and Chandra.

I guess it was because Amb was accustomed to more. She was successful on her own and when she was married to Nate, I mean that nigga was rich. And I’m not stupid, I know when you’re married and die if you have no heirs, everything passes to your wife or husband. So that meant, all of Nate’s money, Amb got.

Essentially, Amber didn’t need me for anything. And as men, that’s what we take pride in or what we want. To know that our women need us in someway. That we can protect them like no one can. That we provide something that no one can. That we aren’t replaceable in our women’s lives. But if Amb left me tomorrow, what would she lose?

If she left me I would lose everything, but she would lose nothing. I guess by asking her to move up here, I just finally wanted her to need me. Make me feel irreplaceable in her life in some way.

The time she said I was nothing but “Dick and Drama” started to play in my head. Maybe that’s all I could give her. And not even that, because she kept vibrators around. I guess that’s why I get so upset about her having one, the one thing I can provide, if that’s gone, then she won’t need me at all.

I rubbed my hand down my face, and continued to smoke my hookah. I was feeling so inadequate as a man right now.  Hell my daughter didn’t even need me. Her daddy couldn’t buy her milk, but a dead man left her enough money to last a life time.

I was regretting that I ever made the effort to get her back. I was so stupid to fight so hard. Why didn’t I just stay away?

I looked out my window and saw a father walking his son who looked about seven to the school a couple of blocks away. They seemed so damn happy and it made me feel even worse .