If I Could

This chapter is dedicated to aestheteale! 💜

Ben Hardy is guiding Belle Taylor out of the Willamson Psychiatric Hospital. He's got his hands on her shoulders, murmurs words to her ear that her crying won't allow her to make out. As she and her boss run down the length of the hallway, she swears the walls are narrowing, closing in on her, threatening to trap her in place and swallow her whole. She's feeling more harrowed than ever, her entire body is dripping with cold sweat, from head to toe, making her clothing stick uncomfortably to her body. Her tears are really not allowing her to see clearly, doesn't know where's she's stepping, or who she's walking past by, she can only see blurred colours and can only imagine her surroundings by sound.

As soon as she steps out of the hospital she is met with hundreds of paparazzi swarming her, flashing their big expensive cameras at her, asking her questions she wishes she knew the answer to: Is Rami okay? Is Rami awake? Is Rami dead? Newspapers tomorrow will have her crying face printed on every front page tomorrow but she doesn't care, she can't even process what she's hearing very well, her mind's only stuck in one place: it's stuck on Rami. He had been found unconscious by Daisy Newton the day after he had confessed what he felt about Belle. Cocaine overdose, rumour has it. No one has any idea of how word traveled so fast, it was all over the news, radio, TV. Belle's a goddamn doctor, of course she knows what could be happening to him, which was the worst part of all: paranoia, nausea, chest pains, he could be dying. Alice could grow up not having a single memory with her father. She is now physically unable to stop crying, and won't stop crying until she sees Rami alive and well.

"Belle, stop crying, please," is what Ben Hardy says as he helps Belle shift comfortable in his car seat. "Belle, listen to me," Ben cups Belle's face gently in front of dozens of cameras, but he seems to forget that. "Rami's fine. Rami's not dead. You have to calm down, please. You're pregnant, you don't want to hurt your baby."

"But Alice—

"Alice will grow up with her father by her side, I promise," Ben takes Roger's wife's hand in his own, gripping it tightly, trying to give her reassurance. Everything happens so fast, and the next thing Belle knows is that a nurse is nudging her lightly on the shoulder telling her she can go in to see Rami.

Belle steps in front of the aseptic-smelling room's doors for a moment, unsure if she should be doing this. The knob is cold in her grip and her heart beats rapidly. What will she see? She isn't certain she could survive seeing Rami all pale and unmoving. But the doctors said he's alive and awake, she reminds herself that everything will be okay as she flings the door open.

"Rami," Belle feels an unmeasurable wave of relief as soon as she sees Rami awake. Her voice is incredibly quiet yet gentle, approaches Rami's bed apprehevensily with a smile on her face. "I'm glad to know you're doing well. I was so worried about you, I couldn't stop crying."

"I'm sorry," Rami cooes. He's dressed in an usual patient attire, IV drip on his hand. He cannot possibly describe the joy he feels after seeing Belle there. Maybe she does care for him after all. That feels better than any other type of medication.

"What for?".

"For putting you through this," Rami replies. "You're pregnant. And I'm embarrassed. Where's Alice? Can't believe she will have to someday look back to this day and realise her father was someday a junkie businessman."

Belle chuckles sadly, shrugging as she met Rami's eyes. "Alice's with my Dad. And yeah well, you do have to apologise for that. That was such a bad timing," Belle fidgets with her hands. "But.. what happened?", she questions her ex-husband, looking more worried than ever, tilting her head to the side as if she was trying to come up with ideas as to what could possibly be wrong in Rami's life.