Slashers: "__" Would Include...

Let's be honest, most of the slashers aren't going to be all that affected. Still, after various requests, I've tried to scrounge up some ideas.

Note: This was written at the beginning of the pandemic.

Jason Voorhees

Meteorologically grateful. If it were summer, Jason would probably force you to wear a hazmat suit. As it is, he'll be sure to keep his distance when making kills. Meaning? Hello, flexing muscle show! Goodbye, whizzing arrow! 

Note: If you're determined to join him on kills, he'll insist you wear a mask. Luckily, you'd happen to have a 3M respirator from when you helped Jason renovate your cabin.

Body disposal. In a word: bonfires. Of course, this would lead to him accidentally creating mini-explosions when he tosses victims' belongings onto the pyre. *Tries to hide his slightly-charred appearance* Thankfully, you wouldn't be there to see him fall on his ass in alarm.

Thomas Hewitt (Leatherface)

No need to panic. Let's be realistic here. You're in a totally different time period. You'll be fine. Or actually...well, if you're with Thomas in the late 1960′s, you'll be elderly by the time of the Coronavirus. So maybe not?

Michael Myers

Business as usual. Unless, of course, you have anything that would cause a weakened immune system. Then he'd (begrudgingly) follow the CDC's recommendations.

Remember: Michael isn't at risk if he gets the virus. He's also not going to care about his 'fellow man'. You are the only reason he'd change his activities.

He'd probably go outside more. People physically moving away to maintain a minimum six-foot distance? Alright, Y/N, you may now take him to this 'Olive Garden'.

Toilet paper intimidation. He knows you. The moment you see someone else going for the last pack of toilet paper, you'll concede defeat. Luckily for you, Michael refuses to even entertain the idea of wiping with CVS receipts. He'll get that butt paper, Y/N. You can count on it.

Brahms Heelshire

Nothing new. Toilet paper shortage? No worries. This beautiful bastard comes with a bidet. Besides, he's been waiting for the perfect excuse to deny the grocery boy admittance to his home.

Freddy Krueger

Dream vacation. Now, I'm not talking about 'dream' as in 'ideal', Y/N. No, no, your vacation would include Freddy putting you in a week-long nap and spending most of the pandemic traveling throughout the dreamscape. Never been to Italy? You'll get Freddy the Date, Freddy the Gondolier, and Freddy the Fat Italian Pigeon that keeps stealing your bread.

Public sex. The best thing about being in a dreamscape with the dream demon is that you can do whatever you want. Wanna have mid-skydiving sex? Done. How about coitus under the sea? Boom! Honestly, the longer you're with him, the kinkier it's going to get.

Yautja (Male)

Canceled plans. Don't even start, little blade. He knows you were looking forward to visiting Earth, but there's no way Sen'ok's allowing you to enter a human pandemic.

(Possible) Familial abduction. Your father is immunocompromised? *Chitters tusks in thought* Very well, little blade, he's willing to have offer sanctuary on his ship–but only until this ooman plague ends!

Awkwardness. You love him, you really do...but he's got about five seconds to end his 'am worthy male, have sired many sucklings' talk or else he's gonna be sleeping on the proverbial space-couch. "For goodness sake, Sen'ok, those are my parents!" And? *sends yautja-intimidating glare* "They don't want to hear about how well-endowed you are."

Yautja (Female)

Familial abduction. There is no 'possible' about it. Are you worried about your weak, ooman relatives? Going full-on huntress, she'd tranquilize your family and place them in separate cryo chambers. All this would, of course, be done without your knowledge. You'd only discover your icy visitors when you broach the topic a week later. *gives hair flip as she inspects her claws* Really, little blade, I don't understand your displeasure. They've already been in cryosleep for a week now. Would you have preferred I waited longer?

Inappropriate Conversation. Expect horrifying questions such as the number of children your father's sired, how often your parents mate, etc. So, standard yautja small-talk. The comment, "Hmmm, so you mated frequently, yet with little yield," will have you slapping her arm.What, little blade? A hound pup is more virile than them! *Groans and bangs head against the table*