Chapter 23: I miss you.
Perhaps the eldest miss herself wasn't even aware of how intense and greedy her gaze had become.
Qin Yi's eyes followed Mu Xiaoxiao like clouds chasing the wind. She watched as Mu Xiaoxiao finished the oath, then bent down to gently embrace a child nearby, smiling warmly as she touched the child's hair and whispered something close to their ear. Another child ran up, arms wide for a hug, and Mu Xiaoxiao welcomed them all with open arms.
Her smile was so radiant.
Her eyes were full of life.
Even the way the wind tousled her hair made one want to follow her endlessly.
Liu Wannian, who had followed Qin Yi for years, was stunned. He usually didn't dare to stare directly at her for long, but now, his eyes were wide open.
In all these years, he had never seen the eldest miss wear such an expression.
She and Mu Xiaoxiao...
Are they...?
Qin Yi stood frozen, her gaze fixed on Mu Xiaoxiao without moving an inch. Next to her, Liu Wannian sneakily timed it-it took a full fifteen minutes before Mu Xiaoxiao and the children were called in to eat by the director. During that entire time, it was as if Qin Yi hadn't even blinked.
The wind blew, but Qin Yi's heart was still racing wildly. She stood in silence for a long time, her hand resting over her chest.
What's happening to me?
Liu Wannian, pretending not to notice anything, was shouting internally.
Eldest Miss! Eldest Miss! You are in love!
Qin Yi was puzzled over her feelings for a while before turning her gaze toward Liu Wannian.
He immediately straightened up, wearing an 'I saw nothing, I know nothing' expression.
Qin Yi knew that Liu Wannian had been with his girlfriend for many years. She wanted to ask him what it felt like to see his girlfriend smile, but her pride kept her from asking such a childish question.
Someone as smart, beautiful, and dignified as her-how could she possibly act as naive as Mu Xiaoxiao?
This heartbeat must be due to the heat-just some shortness of breath from the hot weather.
Meanwhile, Mu Xiaoxiao was happily munching on cola chicken wings, completely unaware that Qin Yi had been there. In fact, she was childishly arranging chicken bones into the shape of a 'Transformer' sitting in a wheelchair. She even took a picture and sent it to Qin Yi.
[Look, Eldest Miss! In my heart, this is what you're like.]
Thinking of Qin Yi made Mu Xiaoxiao smile. To her, even if the eldest miss was in a wheelchair-Qin Yi was invincible, majestic, and awe-inspiring.
Just as Qin Yi was about to leave, she received the message. Her heart, which had only just begun to settle, started beating wildly again.
Why is it so hot today?!
Hearing the notification sound, Liu Wannian couldn't help but glance at her.
Qin Yi shot him a cold glance, clearly annoyed.
Why is there another message?
Liu Wannian: ...
Oh dear, when will the eldest miss ever stop being so tsundere?
Falling in love was a hazy sweetness-like soft pink clouds hiding little bursts of joy and excitement, tinged with a hint of bitterness. This was something Qin Yi had never experienced before.
It wasn't that she had never liked anyone. In middle school, their class monitor had been the very image of a prince from a manhua-tall and handsome, with a gentle demeanor. Every time she looked at him, he'd blush. Qin Yi had felt a flutter in her heart back then, but that was just a young girl's shallow admiration for appearances.
She once told her older sister, Qin Haiyao, about it. Her sister had been pleasantly surprised, stroking Qin Yi's hair, "Oh, my little sister is growing up."
Growing up?
A month later, with graduation looming, Qin Haiyao curiously asked, "So, how are things going with that prince of yours?"
Carrying her guzheng on her back, Qin Yi replied indifferently, "I don't like him anymore."
So soon? Qin Haiyao was taken aback. "Why?"
She felt sorry for her sister-how fleeting and pure those young feelings were. Had the boy done something unforgivable? Was he a heartbreaker, leading girls on with his good looks? Was her sister acting so indifferent to hide her heartbreak?
While Qin Haiyao was lost in thought, Qin Yi frowned in distaste and said, "After the flag-raising ceremony, he took off his uniform, and underneath he was wearing this hideous mustard-yellow sweater. It was so ugly."
Qin Haiyao: ...
Ah, young love-so simple and fleeting. The poor prince would never know he lost his chance because of an ugly sweater.
Qin Yi had never truly known love in her youth. And as she grew older, all she found were lies and betrayals. So, even though Qin Yi was breathtakingly beautiful and carried an air of sophistication, she was completely inexperienced when it came to emotions.
Liking someone changed everything. A single glance, a text, even a photo could spark endless thoughts and interpretations. Qin Yi stared at the 'Transformer' made of chicken bones, looking at the photo over and over. She couldn't help but wonder-
What does Mu Xiaoxiao mean? What does she mean by saying I'm like this in her heart?
Does she think I'm cold and emotionless, like a robot? Is she saying I'm harsh and unfeeling?
Thinking of this, Qin Yi felt somewhat unhappy and furrowed her brow as she waved her hand at Liu Wannian.
[Let's go.]
---
The afterglow of the setting sun gradually faded, disappearing beneath the horizon.
Mu Xiaoxiao had initially planned to return home the same day, but plans often fail to keep up with reality. Perhaps it was the stifling heat and humidity or the exhaustion from traveling all day, but something was off with Qiuqiu's heart. While eating, she began to feel breathless but didn't dare tell the orphanage director, nor her sister.
Quietly, she slipped into a corner, took a quick-dissolving heart pill, and held it under her tongue. After a brief rest, she felt a little better and rejoined everyone.
But how could anything escape Mu Xiaoxiao's eyes? She was a psychologist, after all. The moment Qiuqiu emerged, she was caught.
"What's wrong? Not feeling well?" Mu Xiaoxiao's sharp gaze locked on her sister.
Qiuqiu shook her head, still pretending. "No, I'm just a bit excited from all the fun."
Mu Xiaoxiao scrutinized her pale face. "Why do you look so pale?"
"I just put on some sunscreen," Qiuqiu answered smoothly.
Mu Xiaoxiao frowned. "Your sunscreen is green? That's trendy?" With no hesitation, Mu Xiaoxiao grabbed her sister like a little chick and took her straight to the town's hospital.
This town was practically Mu Xiaoxiao's domain. Everyone from shopkeepers to doctors knew her well, especially since she often brought the orphanage kids to the hospital.
When Dr. Zhang, wearing her white coat, saw them, she smiled while rubbing alcohol sanitizer on her hands. "Xiaoxiao? When did you get back?"
"Just today," Mu Xiaoxiao replied curtly.
In Mu Xiaoxiao's eyes, Dr. Zhang was a noble soul. A top graduate from a prestigious university, Dr. Zhang had chosen to work in this underserved town, earning admiration from the locals.
Mu Xiaoxiao gestured toward her sister. "She's probably feeling unwell again but won't say a word about it."
Qiuqiu pursed her lips as Dr. Zhang's smile faded upon noticing her bluish lips. Despite some improvements in local healthcare, resources were still limited, and doctors were stretched thin. After a full round of tests, it was already nightfall.
Mu Xiaoxiao sent a message to Miss Qin Yi. [Don't wait for me. I won't be able to return tonight.]
She didn't know if Qin Yi would wait for her but hoped she wouldn't.
After reviewing the heart scan results, Dr. Zhang's expression grew serious. Qiuqiu, now nervous, tugged at her shirt and looked to her sister for reassurance. And just like when they were kids, Mu Xiaoxiao handed her ten yuan. "Go downstairs and get some noodles. I'll join you soon."
When Qiuqiu was little, it was as if she grew up in a hospital. Her childhood memories were filled with the scent of disinfectant and white lab coats. During those days, the warmest memory she held onto was her sister taking her downstairs for a bowl of noodles after her medical appointments. Those noodles were the most delicious thing ever.
Qiuqiu looked at her pitifully. "I want to wait with you. I've grown up now, and my ability to handle things is top-notch."
Mu Xiaoxiao glanced at her dismissively and said mercilessly, "Scram." She truly was learning by example. Over the time they had spent together, Mu Xiaoxiao had perfected imitating the eldest miss' mannerisms.
Reluctantly, Qiuqiu was sent away, turning back to look at her sister every few steps.
The door closed.
Dr. Zhang, noticing Mu Xiaoxiao's clear tension, sat across from her. "How's it looking? Is the little one okay? Her heart hasn't had a relapse, has it?"
Qiuqiu was born with a congenital heart defect, which was also the reason she was abandoned by her parents. Fortunately, her parents were at least "kind-hearted" enough not to leave her out in the freezing cold like Mu Xiaoxiao had been, tossed at the village entrance in the dead of winter. Qiuqiu had been left outside an orphanage one autumn. The director, on her way to fetch water in the morning, almost stepped on her and was scared half to death when she opened the door.
Mu Xiaoxiao wasn't much older at the time, but she was mature beyond her years and often helped the director and the elderly caregivers feed and change the younger children. She had always adored this little sister and took great care of her. It could be said that Mu Xiaoxiao had practically raised Qiuqiu.
Years later, her mother, Su Kui, had used Qiuqiu as leverage to bring Mu Xiaoxiao back home. At that time, Qiuqiu was too young and frail, so the doctors performed a palliative procedure to stabilize her condition, planning for corrective surgery later.
A heart's recovery depends heavily on one's physical condition, mood, and environment. Fortunately, Qiuqiu, like Mu Xiaoxiao, had an optimistic personality and had maintained good health over the years. Mu Xiaoxiao had been saving up, planning to take her for the surgery after her high school entrance exams. But now, judging by the situation, it seemed they couldn't wait any longer.
Dr. Zhang explained everything in detail, pointing to the scans with her pen. "Her left and right valves are beyond repair. The situation is dire. It's best to schedule surgery as soon as possible."
Mu Xiaoxiao grew anxious immediately. "There was nothing wrong last year!" She was always attentive to Qiuqiu's health, taking her for heart check-ups every year.
Dr. Zhang sighed as she looked at her. "This illness changes rapidly. I was shocked myself when I saw the scans. Based on preliminary analysis, it might be related to her recent state and emotions. Has she been..."
Mu Xiaoxiao's heart sank as she listened to the rest of the explanation. She hadn't expected that, as a psychologist who had helped so many people heal, she had overlooked the person closest to her.
When she walked out of the hospital, Qiuqiu had already returned, having finished her bowl of noodles. She had even packed a serving for her sister, knowing Mu Xiaoxiao loved spicy food, and added lots of chili sauce.
Finding an empty chair, Mu Xiaoxiao crouched on the ground, slurping the noodles. She was someone who had weathered many storms since childhood and could endure almost anything. Despite the turmoil in her heart, her face betrayed no emotion.
She successfully finished the entire bowl, down to the last drop of soup.
Qiuqiu looked at her expression. "How is it, Sis?" She had a bad feeling, but seeing her sister eat so heartily, she thought maybe everything was fine.
Mu Xiaoxiao rolled her eyes. "What could it be? Get back to your homework!"
Hearing her say that, Qiuqiu sighed in relief and smiled. "I was really scared the doctor would tell you I needed surgery. That would cost so much money."
She couldn't bear to let her sister spend more money on her. If it came to that, she'd rather just overdo it than burden her sister.
Childish words, but they weighed like a heavy stone on Mu Xiaoxiao's heart.
Spending money on the surgery wasn't the issue... Although she wasn't financially well-off, over the years, she had quietly saved up for emergencies like this.
However, heart surgery was no small matter. They would need the best doctor to ensure it was done properly. But big hospitals were always overcrowded, with long queues. On top of that, her schedule was packed, leaving her unable to juggle everything.
Mu Xiaoxiao was no longer the naive child who could be easily manipulated by her mother, Su Kui, with a few harsh words. Years of struggling through life had given her valuable experience. But because this was about Qiuqiu, the matter weighed heavily on her heart.
On the way back, Mu Xiaoxiao was already formulating a plan.
This wasn't a trivial matter. She would have to inform the orphanage director. The director, having been through so much, should be able to handle it. Someone had to know the situation in case of unforeseen circumstances. Grandma, however, was out of the question-she was too old and might be scared out of her wits.
Next, she would need to gently prepare her little sister. After all, they had to start getting ready for the surgery soon.
She glanced at Qiuqiu. "By the way, sis, Dr. Zhang mentioned earlier that your heart's still a bit 'broken'. We'll need to go to Beijing for a follow-up soon. You should eat and drink more these days, fatten up a bit. You might need a small surgery later."
Qiuqiu, being sharp, immediately looked up. "Didn't you say I didn't need surgery? Why the sudden change? Is it serious?"
"Serious, my ass. They're just going to use some pliers to knock your valve back into place. Didn't you have surgery when you were little? What, are you scared now?" Mu Xiaoxiao scowled. "And I haven't even asked you-how did your heart suddenly get like this? Are you dating someone?"
Qiuqiu covered her mouth in shock. "Oh my god, Sis, why are you tarnishing my pure little soul?"
"Pure little soul, my foot. Did you fall in love early, get your heart broken, and end up bottling it all up like this?"
Mu Xiaoxiao's sharp gaze fixed on Qiuqiu, who frowned. "No way. A great beauty like me wouldn't let her first love end so sloppily." But deep down, she was panicking.
Although future-writer Qiuqiu had great confidence in her ability to lie, her sister was too hard to fool. She couldn't let her know about what was happening at school. If her sister found out, she would undoubtedly go to the school to talk to the teachers, and then they'd be busy with transferring her. It was just one more year-she could endure it.
Qiuqiu could only change the topic. "Sis, are you sure you're not lying to me? Is it really just a small surgery? Don't let me down now."
Mu Xiaoxiao kept a straight face. "Of course, I'm lying. You're terminal."
Qiuqiu: ...
Okay...
If my sister seemed so calm-there couldn't possibly be anything wrong.
"Do you need money, Sis? I've saved up 2,000 yuan."
Mu Xiaoxiao was shocked. "How did you save that much?"
Her little sister was always at school-how could she possibly save so much money?
Qiuqiu, still a child at heart, spoke proudly. "I'm a writer, remember? I earned it by serializing novels online."
Mu Xiaoxiao frowned. "What website?"
Qiuqiu: ...
Mu Xiaoxiao: "I've never heard of it. Sounds sketchy. Don't tell me you're writing smut?"
Qiuqiu was outraged. "Of course not! Sis, you're so outdated. Everyone knows how wholesome our site is. Anything below the neck doesn't exist!"
Mu Xiaoxiao, distracted, muttered, "So, you're writing supernatural stories now? Just a floating head? Who's even reading that?"
Qiuqiu: ...
Forget it. She gave up trying to reason with her sister.
Mu Xiaoxiao, however, wasn't in the mood to banter. Her mind was consumed by thoughts of the surgery.
That night, while everyone else was asleep, Mu Xiaoxiao lay tossing and turning. She barely slept a wink.
Meanwhile, in the deep night at the Qin family's courtyard, the Qin Yi sat silently on the stairs of the third floor, gazing at the stars outside. She held a few black Go stones in her hand, and the surroundings were so quiet that one could hear a person's breath. Her eyelids drooped slightly as she sighed softly.
---
The next morning, the director secretly told Mu Xiaoxiao, "Mom consulted the doctor, and for a case like Qiuqiu's, surgery to replace two valves would cost at least 200,000 yuan, not including the follow-up expenses." As she spoke, she touched her pocket.
When Mu Xiaoxiao saw this, she understood what she meant and frowned, "I'll handle the money, that's your retirement fund, right?"
It was she who insisted on taking Qiuqiu from the orphanage, once she decided on this sister, she would take responsibility for her.
Su Qiuyun knew her daughter's personality. Afraid of waking the children inside, she lowered her voice and said, "Where did you get so much money? What do you mean 'support me in old age'? Aren't you already taking care of me?"
Over the years, Mu Xiaoxiao had spent nearly all her money on the orphanage. Taking care of so many children involved significant expenses, big and small.
Su Qiuyun truly couldn't bear to see her daughter shoulder such a heavy burden.
Seeing her mother becoming visibly anxious, Mu Xiaoxiao smiled and said in a deliberately relaxed tone, "I've saved some money before, don't worry, Mom. All you need to do is feed Qiuqiu well and plump her up. Leave the rest to me. If I really run short, I promise I'll ask you for help, okay?"
Su Qiuyun looked at her daughter, pressed her lips together, and seemed to want to say something. In the end, she let out a long sigh. This was the child she had raised. How could she not know what Xiaoxiao was thinking?
In truth, money wasn't Mu Xiaoxiao's biggest concern. Recently, the eldest miss she worked for had paid her quite handsomely. While there might be a shortfall later, she could borrow some money from friends if necessary to tide things over.
The real urgency was finding a professional doctor at the hospital. Medical resources in major hospitals were highly in demand. A surgery might not be scheduled until at least two weeks later.
To secure an appointment, she planned to use her connections and ask her friends for help. If that didn't work, she was willing to turn to scalpers. Worst case, she'd go to a private hospital. Money could always be earned later; her sister's health was the priority.
Once she figured it all out, Mu Xiaoxiao felt more at ease. As she packed her bags to leave, her spirits lifted, and her face looked noticeably better.
Relying on her Oscar-worthy acting skills, once praised by the eldest miss, she successfully tricked her grandmother and Qiuqiu.
Grandma Chu, who rarely left her room, was a remarkably resilient old lady. Armed with her basic cell phone, she had taught herself many things online.
In her spare time, she would step on her old sewing machine to make clothes for the children. Each piece was carefully crafted and well-made.
She even made Mu Xiaoxiao a yellow blouse, with a perfectly tailored collar and sleeves. It fit beautifully and gave off a fresh, energetic look. Grandma Chu thought it was the ideal outfit for a young person, the kind that made them look confident enough to give a speech on stage.
When Grandma Chu handed the blouse to her, Mu Xiaoxiao dramatically covered her mouth in feigned excitement. "Wow, Grandma, is this for me? It's so beautiful!" But internally, she was crying.
Grandma, why are you so determined to dress me like a rural woman planting rice seedlings in the 1970s? Weren't you always enthusiastic about my love life? Who would like me if I wore this?
Qiuqiu, watching her sister's exaggerated reaction, snickered quietly to herself. She secretly wondered how her Sister Yi would react to seeing her sister dressed like this-they'd probably be utterly appalled.
Su Qiuyun stuffed more food into Mu Xiaoxiao's bag. A mother's heart always worried, no matter how far her child traveled. She nagged her endlessly, while a group of children surrounded her, some even tearing up and clinging to her legs, refusing to let her leave.
Mu Xiaoxiao's ears were practically buzzing from all the noise, and the crying gave her a pounding headache. Finally, she used the excuse of needing to catch her bus to escape the chaos.
Sitting on the bus heading to the Qin family's residence, Mu Xiaoxiao felt a bit excited. She even sent Qin Yi a message: [Eldest Miss, I'm almost back!]
As usual, there was no reply.
Mu Xiaoxiao didn't mind the eldest miss' coldness. When she got off the bus, she splurged on a rare luxury and hailed a cab to get home faster. Rushing back, she even surprised herself with her urgency. She just wanted to see the eldest miss as soon as possible.
When she arrived at the Qin household, the sun was scorching, and there wasn't a trace of wind. The heat waves around her felt as if they could roast a person alive. At this hour and in this kind of weather, Qin Yi was most likely upstairs playing the piano or meditating, based on her usual habits.
Mu Xiaoxiao had bought an ice cream cone, thinking it would be a small surprise. She knew the eldest miss secretly loved sweets but was too proud to admit it.
Fearing the ice cream would melt, she quickened her pace toward the house.
At the entrance, Liu Wannian happened to be talking to a bodyguard in black. The bodyguard bowed respectfully, but when they saw her return, Liu Wannian immediately swiped his card to open the door for her.
Mu Xiaoxiao glanced at Liu Wannian with confusion. Why was he suddenly being so attentive?
She was too eager to see the eldest miss to think much about it. Quickening her pace, she entered the courtyard, and as she looked up, she saw the eldest miss standing in the middle of the yard, facing the gate.
The eldest miss was actually here??? In this scorching heat, why was she out here, staring at fallen leaves?
Mu Xiaoxiao instantly felt a surge of joy and excitement. She waved enthusiastically at Qin Yi with her free hand. "Eldest Miss, I'm back!" She didn't just walk quickly, she broke into a run.
From a distance, Qin Yi watched Mu Xiaoxiao. She was wearing a yellow blouse that clearly clashed with the eldest miss' aesthetic preferences, holding a slightly melted ice cream cone, and noisily running toward her.
Such a scene should have been met with disdain. The appropriate reaction would have been to turn around and leave. But the eldest miss couldn't help herself-she wanted to watch for a few more seconds.
She told herself: just ten seconds.
Her eyes fell on Mu Xiaoxiao's face. Had she not slept? Why did she look so tired?
Another ten seconds.
Did she have something on her mind?
The last ten seconds.
Actually, that blouse wasn't too bad. Yes, it was quite yellow, but she kind of looked like a cute Donald Duck.
It must be the final ten seconds...
Before the "final ten seconds" even finished counting in her mind, Mu Xiaoxiao had already run up to her. She was drenched in sweat, and with her free hand, she wrapped her arms around Qin Yi in a tight hug. "Eldest Miss, I missed you so much!"
I really do.
Not seeing you for one day is like missing you for three autumns.
She had never felt this attached to anyone-not even a patient.
The familiar scent of lychee wafted into her nose as Mu Xiaoxiao, radiating heat like a furnace, hugged her tightly. The eldest miss shivered slightly from the warmth. She lifted her hand slightly, intending to push Mu Xiaoxiao away as usual and tell her to get lost.
The eldest miss' arm felt soft and weak, lacking the strength to resist. She let Mu Xiaoxiao's boldness slide, allowing her to cling to her without objection.
After a moment, Qin Yi's gaze fell on the melting ice cream in Mu Xiaoxiao's hand. She closed her eyes briefly, and a small voice surfaced in her mind: 'I missed you too.'
* * *
Mini Side Story
Later, Mu Xiaoxiao accidentally learned that Qin Yi once had a little white horse. This made her feel a bit sour, and she kept looking for trouble: "Hey, Eldest Miss, do you think if he hadn't worn that awful yellow back then, you two would have ended up together?"
Qin Yi was focused on her documents and ignored her provocation.
Mu Xiaoxiao stroked her chin: "Maybe you would have even gotten married."
Qin Yi glanced at her, asking if she was done.
Mu Xiaoxiao: "Maybe you would have had kids by now?"
She crossed her legs: "What would they look like? Would you be this gentle with him too?"
Unable to tolerate it any longer,
The Eldest Miss set down her documents, walked over to Mu Xiaoxiao with a cold expression.
Mu Xiaoxiao was the type to provoke and then be scared. Seeing Qin Yi approach with an unfriendly look, her heart raced. But jealousy twisted her thoughts, and she continued to glare at Qin Yi. What was the big deal? Wasn't she allowed to say something? Was the Eldest Miss going to hit her?
As Mu Xiaoxiao was wildly guessing, a faint sandalwood fragrance filled her nose. Qin Yi sat directly on Mu Xiaoxiao's lap, wrapping her arms around her slender waist. The Eldest Missleaned her head on her shoulder, her long hair brushing against Mu Xiaoxiao's neck. Qin Yi leaned forward, her nose lightly rubbing against Mu Xiaoxiao's. As Mu Xiaoxiao's cheeks flushed and she shivered, Qin Yi's slender fingers grazed her lips. With her gaze fixed on her, she asked, "Have I ever treated anyone else like this?"
Mu Xiaoxiao: ...
She was going to die.