"I'm surprised" Daniel said as he looked at me
"What on earth are you surprised about?" I asked as i continued looking at my hands in front of me "Lestat was always painted as this evil villain to you by Louis, why would you be surprised that he wasn't always kind to me?" I finish as i look up at him
He shakes his head "No its not that" He says as i raise my eyebrow "I'm surprised that you are telling me this about him... i was under the impression that you wanted to change people's view of him- why tell me the bad so willingly?" He asks
I blink at him before I respond "Because i cannot talk about Lestat without the bad. If i did then there would be no story to tell"
Daniel raises an eyebrow before he opens his mouth
"Grab that" I say for him as i shake my head
"You know, I've never questioned a decision i made as much as i have done the past few days you've been here" I say
"Thanks so much" He says flatly
"But then i remind myself that Louis's view is the only one out there and it reminds me how everyone will have no choice but to believe him and i can't have that" I say
It's quiet for a moment before Daniel speaks, my previous sarcastic tone being met with his monotone voice.
"When i interviewed Louis he spoke of you... in a strange way" He says " I will admit that my focus had been on his relationship with Lestat, but i remember the way he never gave me direct answers to anything that involved your friendship"
I smile as i look down at my hands again
"Louis and i... we are complicated" I say "But at the end of the day we are more alike than we could have ever ignored."
"Your shared love for Lestat?" Daniel guesses
I shake my head "No. Infact we bonded over our shared mistrust of Lestat" I admit "I had never expected us to get as close as we once were... After the night Lestat and i had one of our fights i had walked myself to the park, one that i hadn't been to before. I sat myself down on one of the benches and i sat in silence for what felt like hours."
...
After Lestat and i had fought i felt conflicted. Being told that your perception of someone for the last 100 years has been wrong is more painful than you would be able to ever imagine.
I was confused- confused about why he didn't feel the same way i did- how he felt he owned me and felt he couldn't do wrong to me as i was his compared to how I wanted nothing but what was best for him and how i had let him sleep around in order to make him happy.
I felt hurt- hurt that he admitted he didn't think anyone else could love me- how he believed i was unlovable to any of my past lovers. But above all else i felt stupid.
I felt like the dumbest person alive. Without even realising it i had changed myself in order to please him.
I had changed the way i used to spend my days painting to now spending nights out at whore houses.
I always valued family above anything, that was plain to see when i turned myself in order to be able to spend more time with my sister, but since she had turned away from me i hadn't had a family to value.
I realised, as i sat on that bench, how I had been clinging to Lestat as the only reminder of my past that i had.
It wasn't to say that i suddenly didn't love him anymore, but that night i realised i needed to love myself more then I had been loving him.
It had started to rain when i came to that realisation, it almost felt fitting as i closed my eyes and let the drops hit my porcelain face
I imagened them dripping off my chin as if i was a teacup, overfilled and slowly filtering drops down its angled side and into its saucer below.
It felt refreshing until it suddenly stopped.
Had the sky suddenly decided to clear? I remember thinking...
I smelt him before i saw him and i sighed as i cracked open one of my eyes.
Stood beside me was non other then Louis de Pointe du lac holding a black umbrella and getting himself soaking wet.
"May i sit?" He asked
I'm sorry this chapter is so short... I don't want to go into it but I've got a few things I'm dealing with. But I love my books so I still want to continue to update