**** Painting of Amb in m/m. August need to stop with all this crying. I am sick of crying everytime I see him cry at concerts. And then Travis came on stage to console him yesterday in Bama! * Martin voice * Damn, Damn, Damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!****
AMBER P.O.V. –
I sighed and flickered my eyes open, as I heard Assata’s cries. I looked over at the clock which read 12:30 a.m. Nate still wasn’t home. This entire week he did this. I let it go, but this was not okay. We needed to talk about this.
I got up and went to Sata’s room.
“Aww Munch what’s wrong mama?” I picked her up and patted her back to calm her down.
“You stinky that’s why you crying.” I put my forehead to hers and she giggled wildly.
“Mmm-hmm. That’s why you making all that racket. Let Mama change you.” I laid her on the changing table and changed her diaper.
“That better?” I gave her a bright smile and tickled her stomach.
With an even brighter smile, she kicked her legs and flapped her arms up and down. I suppose she was telling me she agreed.
I picked her up and took her downstairs to get her bottle. I warmed it up and headed back upstairs to feed her when I heard the door open.
Nate came in and closed it behind him. He walked in like nothing happened.
“It’s 12:30.” I said as he walked up the stairs.
“Hey Munch.” He softly rubbed her head, then headed up the stairs.
“I know you hear me talking to you.”
“I can read the clock Amber.” He turned to me.
“Don’t you think you owe me an explanation?”
“I had a couple of drinks with a few Alderman. There.” He took off his suit jacket and disappeared up the stairs.
I looked up the stairs before following him. While that was very well possible, I didn’t believe him. However, my daughter was my priority at the moment, not arguing with him. So I went to her room to feed her.
Once I had gotten her back to sleep, I returned to the bedroom. Nate was in his boxers reading and drinking a glass of scotch.
“I hope you don’t think I believe that load of bullshit you just fed me.” I said getting underneath the covers.
“What reason do I have to lie?”
“So every day this week you’ve been with the alderman?”
“Yes.” He put his book down and turned to me.
“Whatever.” I turned off the light.
“I was reading.”
“Well I’m sleeping. Goodnight.”
AUGUST P.O.V. –
I was sitting on the couch when the doorbell rang. I got up to get it and was met by my brother Travis.
We hadn’t spoken since the incident. He spent the summer after my graduation in Houston. And he had his own apartment now, so we didn’t come in contact with each other.
He looked at me with a sour expression, then walked in.
“Mama.” He called out walking to the back of the house.
“She not here.” I closed the front door and sat back on the couch.
“Mama.” He kept looking for her.
“Travis she not here man.”
“Mama!” He called out again and looked in the other rooms.
I just shook my head.
“You being petty man.”
“No nigga, yo monkey ass the king of petty.” He snapped.
“I’m not gon fight with you Trav.”
“Yeah because you can’t fight niggas your own size. You rather beat up women.”
I stood up ready to say something, but then I thought about Dr. Edwards.
“Trav we brother’s we aint’ supposed to be doing this shit.”
“Nah only Smoke your brother remember. He the only one got your back.”
“I was wrong okay. I was wrong in how I treated Amb, how I treated Mama and in what I said to you. I’m young man. I don’t know everything. Y’all niggas wasn’t perfect at 22, so why y’all expecting me to be? Give me a break. I’m trying man. I really am. My whole life fucked up right now. I don’t need this shit. I’m failing outta school. I lost my woman.”
I put my face in my palms.
“I looked in her eyes and they’ve gone cold. Ain’t no more love in there. When I saw that shit man, it felt like somebody took a knife and stuck it right through my fucking heart. And it’s all my fault man. It’s all my fault she don’t love me no more.” I broke down.
Trav rolled his eyes and pulled my head into his stomach. I grabbed his waist and cried on his shirt.
“You gon be good bro. “ He patted my head and tried to reassure me.
“Not without her. She was like blood man, the only reason I was living.”
“She was your first love Aug, so yeah its gonna hurt. But you gotta be happy for the time you had and move on.” He let go and sat next to me.
“But how man? I can’t imagine my life without her?” I wiped my eyes.
“You just gotta give it time. And work on you. You said you trying, what you doing?”
“Taking anger management classes. Trying to get my school shit right. I got a internship.”
“See there you go. So the next woman you get, you just do better.”
“That’s the thing man, I don’t want nobody else.”
He shrugged, “It be like that sometimes. You gotta lose to win. But bro you only 22. You know how many women you gon meet between now and when you turn 30? Amb a good woman, but there’s more out there. You smart. You look aight. Not as good as me I’m like a ten, and you more like a 1. But if Yo Gotti can find a woman with that big ass muscle head of his , I’m sure you can too.” He patted my back
I laughed.
“Keep your head up bro.” He hit me upside my head. “Tell Mama I was looking for her.”
“Aight.”
We hugged, then he left.
AMBER P.O.V. -
I had just dropped Sata off at my mother’s house. My mother wanted to keep her this weekend to give me a break. I wasn’t going to protest. I loved my Munch, but lawd knows I needed this time.
As soon as I opened the door I was met by the smell of burnt food. Nate still cannot cook at all, but it doesn’t stop him from trying. And part of his continuous efforts are probably because I never tell him it’s bad. I don’t have the heart to tell him that.
I walked into the kitchen to see a puff of smoke and Nate coughing trying to get whatever he cooked out the oven.
“Hey babe. Just go in the dining room, I’ll bring your food to you. I just gotta let this sit a minute.”
“Okay.” I gave a cheesy smile and went into the dining room.
The dining room was set up nicely. I patiently waited for him to return. Well not so patiently, I was not looking forward to this.
About 15 minute later he came out.
“Sorry about the wait.” He sat a plate covered in a napkin in front of me. “Tada!” He pulled the napkin off.
It was the burntest steak, I know I made that word up but that is the only way to describe this atrocity, you’d ever seen in your life. And since when did Rice look more like Mashed Potatoes? A complete mess.
“If this is your attempt to make up for your lying, you’ve failed miserably.” I pushed the food away.
“I do owe you an apology for lying about where I’ve been.”
“Mr. I don’t lie. Nate I thought you were different.”
“It’s because I was working on this.” He pulled a painting from behind our buffet table and handed it to me.
I reluctantly took it.
“You did this?” I said in utter amazement.
It was a painting of me looking like Billie Holiday.
“Yeah.”
“I never knew you were an artist.”
“It’s all I had ya know. Through the beatings and other craziness. Drawing and painting was my safe place. My grandfather would buy me art supplies and commission me to paint him pictures. He’d hang them in his house. And my dad got so jealous, he threw away all my supplies. But I’d still sneak and do it. But when I got older I gave it up. Didn’t really have any inspiration. Too much darkness in my life. But you and Sata have been my light. And I just wanted to express that to you.”
“Aww baby this is amazing Nate. I freaking love it.” I said excitedly.
“Thank you.” He shyly smiled.
There was a moment of silence. I put the painting on the table and grabbed his hands.
“I want to apologize to you for not giving you my all. I allowed my love for August to cloud my vision, but I so see baby, why that didn’t work out. It was so I could be with you.”
He smiled and I saw a tear roll down his cheek. I softly grabbed his head and passionately kissed him. We went upstairs. And for the first time I made love to Nate, not wishing he was someone else.