Transformers Oneshots(Requests Closed)

(This isn't for any continuity in particular just wanted to write about one of my underused\underrated faves, "Punch is struggling with his thoughts and his alter ego" this is angsty)

I stare at a wall of faces, unsure if it's real or fake or what meaning it has if there is one. I try not to peer at my servos for dripping energon is the only thing I see on them. What is war without bloodshed and death some may think, but I know it's different. It's different.

I stopped trying to be as close to my own side a while ago. A calm, emotionless Automatron is what my side shall see me as. Hide the paranoia and guilt behind an unreadable and stoic stare discomforting them for which they shall stay away.

While with the enemy they shall see me as a violent aggressor who even with their little standards shall I make them beware. Hide my true side behind aggression they shall never know that I'm a spy for the enemy for which they despise.

I ignore him beginning to appear as an imprint on the wall. He who I killed and pretend to be, no it's not his oozing energon that haunts me. It's the energon of my side I had to spill to keep up my disguise.... My disguise.... the ones who didn't know I was truly their ally.

I try to push down their usual empty stares with no pleads for mercy. I'm unsure of what I find worse as they stared up my gun, knowing they were to be executed they took it calmly. I had to as well to keep up my disguise.... My disguise.

It's when I'm him that I have to shed my allies' energon, but it's when I'm me that I have to deal with that energon. But, no matter what I still did it. It was always my own hand that pulled the trigger!

But that's what scares me because after I became him after a while I started blacking out and when I woke up I was in a different place. He was-IS doing this. This persona of a dead Decepticon is taking over my life! What if one day I don't wake up!? What is he doing when I'm not awake!?

They're all still there... watching me... Like always

Wait no stop it! Emotion is the death of someone like me! Emotion is the death of a spy! Push them down!

I push them down like always. Emotion is the death of someone like me. Emotion is the death of a spy it can get them caught and will harm their side in the process. So I shall ignore the energon I've seen spilt both by my own servo and the ones I've seen and continue with life as always.

(Punch/Counterpunch is such an amazing and underrated character. Anyways hope you enjoyed this monologue and have a good day or night!)