Transformers Oneshots(Requests Closed)

(Requested by ItsNotKaiden. This is angst and it does timeskips.)

Y/N stares at the wall of his room blankly for a moment. His servos curl into a fist and it begins shaking. He begins to hold it up as he's about to pound it against his wall, but he stops as he begins trembling and crumbles into the ground.

Y/N begins to quietly sob. He muffles his cries like always, he doesn't want them to see this. 

It's a weakness.

It's... exploitable.

They can't know. They can never know. Y/N knows this fact all too well and that's why he'll quietly sob in his room.

Like always.

It's a bit later when Y/N walks out of his room with his usual blank and emotionless expression. He's pulled himself together and looks like his usual self. His emotionless, apathetic self that most are slightly weirded out and disturbed by. He likes it this way, they won't ask this way. 

He begins to turn to start walking away, but a sudden voice stops him, "Y/N," He hears Optimus say in his usual calm voice, "You have been in your room for a while. I was wondering if everything was alright?"

 Y/N turns to face Optimus with his usual blank expression, "I'm fine," He answers in his usual monotone voice.

 "Are you sure?" Optimus asks, "You were in your room for awhi-"

"I'm fine," Y/ N interrupts apathetically, "I like spending time by myself." He turns and begins to walk off as Optimus looks like he wants to say something else, but he decides against it, so he just watches Y/N leave.

Y/N stands in his room. He's just standing there as his mind is blank. There are no thoughts, it's just quiet.

Good.

No thoughts, mean no problems.

No extreme problems anyway. Always a problem in some way or form. He could never escape them.

No matter how hard he tried.

It's in the middle of a fight with the Decepticons. Y/N and the other Autobots fire at them. It's going normal for a fight.

Y/N doesn't mind. He's fine today. He's how he usually is, so he can handle the fighting.

He shoots at Decepticons with that same apathetic look on his face like always.

Y/N is back in his room again. He slumps to the floor before beginning to cry like before.

Like always.

It's the same cycle.

It's later when he finally emerges from his room again with the same apathetic look on his faceplate. There's no sign that he was crying like usual.

It's good that way.

"Y/N," He hears that low voice say calmly again, Optimus.

"Yes?" Y/N asks, but he doesn't turn around this time.

"You were in your room for a while again," He answers in his calm tone, "I was wondering if everything is ok?"

"I'm fine," He answers apathetically, "I just like the quietness." He walks off after the answer,  not wanting this conversation to continue.

Optimus watches him leave, feeling unsure about Y/N's response, again.

Y/N slams his fist against the wall, Stop! He thinks, Stop thinking about it! I can't go there! He struggles to control his own mind as the thoughts keep overlapping themselves and devouring each attempt to stop the process.

He slams his helm against the wall and he lets it rest there for a moment as he continues to try and hold it together for the battle that is looming above him.

It's another fight between the Decepticons and Autobots. Y/N isn't fighting though, he's just hiding behind Optimus.

There's not a want, no drive.

He feels awful.

Y/N quickly goes back to his room as soon as he and the other Autobots get back from the mission.

Like always.

The tears almost immediately start coming out again. His mind still drifting towards the memories and thoughts from this morning.

NO! Stop it! 

The thoughts don't listen as he tries to control it, but even he can't stop anymore and he lets it out.

This spiral of anguish and grief makes his cries go harder, yet they're still so silent and quiet in the grand scheme of things.

It's meaningless.

Y/N comes out of his room. He was in there longer than usual, even he knew that. He doesn't care though. Most won't ask him anyway except...

"Y/N," There he is, Optimus, always at the same time like always, "Your behavior in the battle was peculiar, was there a reason why?"

"I was just feeling a bit down today that's all. Nothing to worry about." His answer is in the same tone as usual, apathy. Leave it, Optimus.

"Y/N," Optimus begins to say gently with concern, "I—"

"Nothing to worry about." Y/N interrupts quickly. His tone is still fairly apathetic, but there is a slight tint of annoyance and firmness to it. He doesn't wait for a response and quickly walks off.

This cycle repeats and repeats, as it always has been, but Optimus has been asking about Y/N's behavior and, somehow, Optimus ended up finding the apathetic mech endearing, developing some feelings for him as time went on.

After awhile, Optimus finally decided to confess to Y/N. He has began to understand that Y/N enjoys his privacy, so he waited until the usual time when Y/N left his room and waited.

And waited.

And waited, but he never came out. It was just silence from Y/N's room. That's when Optimus became worried.

He lifted one of his servo's to lightly knock on the door.

No response.

His worry grows and begins to quietly open the door.

"Y/N," Optimus quietly begins as he opens the door. His optics go around the room to try and find Y/N and they find him, on the ground, sobbing.

"Y/N!"

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This took so long to write

I'm not sure if this was too much creative liberty, so you tell me. This was more of a setup than anything, so yeah sorry that it can be seen as a tad bit repetitive with this and that the end was a bit lazy.

But I hope you enjoyed it and that you have a good day or night!