Making this instead of writing my other books

Primus: Naturally, we are on the cutting edge of technology.

Bumblebee, amazed: Wow...

Unicron, to Bumblebee: Well what does that mean?

Bumblebee: I don't know.

Bumblebee, to Primus: What does that mean?

~~

Primus: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me
Bumblebee: Okay, but in my defense, Unicron bet me 50 cents I couldn't drink all that shampoo.
Primus: That's not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

~~

Primus: Unicron, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?

Unicron: I don't know, love you, talk to you later

Primus: Ok, I love you too, I'll just ask Bumblebee.

~~

Primus: If Bumblebee and I were drowning, who would you save?

Unicron: You two can't swim?

Bumblebee: It's a hypothetical question, Unicron! Who would you save?

Unicron: my time and effort.

~~

Primus, negotiating with Bumblebee: We have Unicron. Give us ten thousand dollars and they will be returned to you unharmed

Unicron: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I'm only worth ten thousand dollars?

Primus:

Unicron: MAKE IT ONE MILLION–

Primus: UNICRON STOP

~~

Primus: Bumblebee and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Unicron: *Sighing* What did Bumblebee do?

Primus: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Bumblebee: Who wants a steering wheel?

~~

Primus: What time is it?

Bumblebee: I don't know; pass me that saxophone and we'll find out

Bumblebee: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*

Unicron: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING

Bumblebee: It's 2 am

~~

Unicron: Why are Primus and Bumblebee sitting with their backs to each other?

Megatron: They had a fight.

Unicron: Then why are they holding hands?

Megatron: They get sad when they fight.

~~

Primus: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Bumblebee: Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Primus: I'm leaving you, and I'M TAKING UNICRON WITH ME

Megatron, picking up the monopoly board: I think we're gonna stop playing now.

~~

Primus: Bumblebee isn't answering their phone

Unicron: I'll call

Primus: Megatron and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Bumblebee: Hello?

~~

Primus: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-

Primus and Bumblebee, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!

Unicron: Our turn, Megatron! One, two, three- vanilla!

Megatron, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake?

~~

Primus: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions?

Bumblebee: Put spaghetti in it.

Primus: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you.

Unicron: Put spaghetti in it.

Primus: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two.

Megatron: Put spaghetti in it.

Primus: I'm no longer taking suggestions.

~~

Primus, setting down a card: Ace of spades

Bumblebee, pulling out an Uno card: +4

Unicron, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you

Megatron, trembling: What are we playing

~~

Primus: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!

Bumblebee: Tubular AF!

Unicron: Mood to the max!

Megatron, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.

Optimus Prime, just as annoyed: If she breathes, she's a square

~~

Primus: Looking left cause you don't treat me right

Bumblebee: Looking right because you left

Unicron: Looking up cause you let me down

Megatron: Looking down cause you fucked up

Optimus Prime: What is wrong with you guys

~~

Primus: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life

Bumblebee: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Primus: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

Unicron: edible