Making this instead of writing my other books

Midnight, WolfFang, Princess, and Spatter (My Mom)

Midnight: Yo is Spatter sleeping or dead?

WolfFang: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts.

Princess: Yeah, so did I.

Spatter: Okay first of all, fuck you-

~~

Midnight: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

WolfFang: Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Midnight: I'm leaving you, and I'M TAKING PRINCESS WITH ME

Spatter, picking up the monopoly board: I think we're gonna stop playing now.

~~

Midnight: *Gently taps table*

WolfFang: *Taps back*

Princess: What are they doing?

Spatter: Morse code.

Midnight: *Aggressively taps table*

WolfFang: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

~~

Midnight: Isn't it weird that we pay money to see other people?

WolfFang: Plane tickets?

Princess: Concert tickets?

Spatter: Prostitution?

Midnight, holding their broken frames: Glasses.

~~

Midnight: Care for another sundae, weenie?

WolfFang: I am not a weenie!

Princess: Relax, you're among friends. *raises their drink*

WolfFang: My friends don't hang out at Weenie Hut Jr's.

Spatter: You tell 'em, WolfFang! *sips their drink*

WolfFang: Spatter, what're you doing here?

Spatter: I'm always here on Double Weenie Wednesdays.

~~

Midnight: Have you seen a person named 'WolfFang' around here?

Princess: Ugh, yes. They made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.

Spatter: It looks fine to me?

Princess: IT USED TO BE WATER!!!

~~

Midnight: Wake me up...

WolfFang: Before you go go!

Princess: When September ends...

Spatter: WAKE ME UP INSIDE-

~~

Midnight, about WolfFang: Apparently we're getting someone new in the group.

Princess: Are we stealing them?

Spatter: New or used?

Midnight: Wonderful responses, both of you.

~~

*Midnight is cooking*

WolfFang: Any chance that's for me?

Midnight: It's for Spatter. I'm planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need them on my side.

Princess: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

~~

*Midnight's helping WolfFang out after they get injured, while the others are watching*

Princess: How does WolfFang look?

Spatter: A little better than you, actually.

~~

Midnight, setting down a card: Ace of spades

WolfFang, pulling out an Uno card: +4

Princess, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you

Spatter, trembling: What are we playing

~~

Midnight: Hah! 69! You know what that means?

WolfFang: What?

Princess: That you're a child.

Spatter: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!?

~~

Midnight: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.

WolfFang: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!

Princess: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies' eyes!!!

Spatter: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.

Midnight: If you touch my birthday cake I'll make you eat your hands.

~~

Midnight: How did none of you hear what I just said?

WolfFang: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Princess: I got distracted about halfway through.

Spatter: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

~~

Midnight: I think we're missing something.

WolfFang: Teamwork?

Princess: Cohesion?

Spatter: A general sense of what we're doing?

~~

Cop: You're receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Midnight: Shit.

WolfFang: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Princess: OH MY GOD SPATTER FELL OFF!!!

~~

Midnight: On a scale from "damn Daniel" to "fre sha vaca do", how are you feeling?

WolfFang: In between "it's an avocado, thanks" and "how did you defeat Captain America", but as a solid answer I would say "I don't need a degree to be a clothing hanger". How about you, Princess?

Princess: Probably "road work ahead".

Spatter: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.