Choose or Not Choose (Dazai x Reader)

In this moment, I didn't know how to react. Never have i ever thought about hearing him say those words if I'm going to be honest. That chemistry that we use to have, I always remember it was a dream and a joke....i don't know anymore. His brown eyes, they reflect so beautifully when the sun hits them. I was loss at words. Dazai, really changed....

"What do you mean by that?..." she asked me, with her eyes a bit widen. Shit,I really let it get to me. I just can't, this is getting too far and I just wanted to take things slowly...

"I meant it as I don't want a man to take my only best friend away" I waved a hand at her and looked away. It's the best I could do to cover it up....i took a quick peek at her reaction, she seemed disappointed by the look of her eyes.....shit.

"You play too much" She mumbled. Of course I do, I'm known for that girl. A womanizer too. But for Y/N, I'll be true to her, just not right now.

"Speaking of friends, I noticed that you have a good connection with the detective agency, how is that?" She asked me and placed her chin on her head, giving me her full attention.

The more I think about it, I realize that Y/N looked matured. A real lady that Kouyou turned her to. But that's not Y/N, this is just a image she's pulling of. From the devotion she put for the mafia. Y/N, I don't want you to think I will only see you what they built you for.....only if I could just say it to her.

"Well, for starters, Kunikida, the four eye dude, loves me so much he hits me." I started blabbering her what's happened and everything that I experienced while being in the agency, all the missions, and good times too. This is something I liked about her, she never has interrupted my blabbering. She paid attention to me and waited till I finished to ask questions or say a few comments. Her eyes were always on me when I talked, as if I only mattered to her and not everyone else around us. I loved this, and I bet she won't regret what we had too.

"Wow, it seems like you made a lot progress and good connections too. That's good for you, wish you the best of what's to come." She said to me and took a sip of her coffee. She never had any grudge for anyone but me back then...how big her heart was no matter what...and I want to protect it at all costs.

"I guess you can say that, who knows? The world might end. Let's not think about that now, tell me, how was it for you?" I asked her. She took a small sigh. Well, I'm guessing it's been a bit rough.

"It's been ok, just the regular days, same schedules, there were suitors too, a bunch if idiots that Mori shooed them away until this year." She explained to me. I hummed in response.

"Till that whole fiasco of your ex fiancé?" I asked and gave her a smirk. She gave me disgusted look and rolled her eyes. Girl, if you don't stop with your attitude.

"Disgusting right? I should've told Mori to look more deeper in that company." She said to me. I nodded in agreement with what she said. But yet again, she seemed really upset about it when we were her bodyguards.

"You did look beautiful that day. Even if I didn't see your eyes." I chuckled. I then realized that she hated cute comments. She was hot headed and tough about them.

"You bastard have nothing to do but try to woo women do you?" She replied back to me. I sighed. She had been a bit too much sometimes.

"And you had nothing to do but try to escape that day huh?" I fired back to her. Yeah, there was a time she tried to escape the mafia a year after she was in. Y/N isn't innocent as ya think. I never forget that first interaction we had after what happened.

"That day you tried jumping over the fence, I realized the mistake I've done...and i realize..." shit, I have to say it now, even if earns a slap on the face.

"I realize that I have got feelings for you. Y/N, you inspired me to be free and be better. I was just so hesitant about it, after Oda died, it pushed me further to actually do what I needed to do."

Y/N

What?....My heart stopped to hear that sentence. This can't be, him?? Actually liking me? As if, everything that he said was real and meant from the heart?

I watched him as he stood up from his chair, walked towards my side of the table and took a knee infront of me, no, wait what?!

His brown up looked up to mines. Don't tell me he's....

"Y/N, from the moment I stopped you, I thought about how can I ever repay you back of what I did. I involved you into something and you did not deserve that. Y/N, I am asking you, on my knee, with the bottom of my heart, I ask you,

Can you give us another chance?"

Dazai.....I have the urge to slap you, but it's not what this ping feeling in my chest is telling me what to do.

He gently held my hand and caressed it. I was really close to slapping him, but he was actually saying this by heart, I can't. I took a shaky breath.

"Take you by the hand, I'm the only one who understands. I don't know what I have to do to make it up to you, but I know that you get days, me, sneaking you out of the mafia to have a bit of freedom to ourselves, was the 1st step. This is my 2nd step to make up everything I've done. Y/N, you have free will to do what you decide but just know, I'll be the only one who understands."