HELLUVA BOSS rewrite

Millie and Moxxie were watching the news in the meeting room of the company.
"There has been a new wave of deaths on Earth, caused by the endless research of fuels. This means there might be more overcrowding here in Hell. We can only wait for another Extermination to see who stays and who will get massacrated" The reporter Katie Killjoy said.
Moxxie looked concerned.
Blitzø was in front of the window, looking at the crystal that Stolas gave him.
Loona was sleeping with her feet on the table and she woke up when a fragment of the ceiling fell on her head.
"What the-?"
The entire building was shaking.
"What's going on?" Millie asked.
"Oh crumbs. Is it a Hellquake?" Moxxie looked at her.
Blitzø got away from the window in time and he didn't get squashed by the tailgate of a flying machine.
A sinner in a tight black costume walked into the meeting room.
"Good day, filty creatures of this world! My name is Loopty Goopty" He introduced himself with a goody voice.
"What do you want from us!?" Millie immediately grabbed an axe.
Loopty explained that he was an inventor, and with his best friend Lyle Lipton they were about to show the world their greatest work. But Loopty died before that could happen.
"And now that son of a bitch will get all the fame. I can't let that happen! Go to his laboratory and send him to Hell, where he belongs!" He ordered to Blitzø.
"Okay, dude. Chill" .
Loopty thanked them and returned inside his machine.
"Alright. Time to use that crystal, Blitz" Millie was ready to go.
"Wait. Millie, I think you should let me, Blitz and Loona do the job this time. Where we're going is probably full of chemikals and it could be a risk" Moxxie touched her belly.
"Are you serious, Mox? Last monday I was running away from hunters wearing a fox costume!" .
Her husband insisted.
With an annoyed moan, Millie accepted to stay at the office.
Then Blitzø held up the crystal, like he was using a gun. When he rubbed it, a rhomboidal portal openned right in front of him.

The two imps and Loona arrived outside a white mansion, with a tall wall around it that had an advanced security system.
When a selaseman rang the intercome, he got electroduced.
Blitzø, Moxxie and Loona disguised themselves with white coats, gloves and a pair of glasses for Moxxie.
Blitzø pressed the button on the intercome.
"Who is it? What do you want?" Lyle Lipton answered.
"Hello, sir! We're your new assistants. We were sent by the. . . The Austrian Society of Scientists!" Blitzø lied.
"The ASS?" .
"Yes, we're glad to- Oh my Satan, I made him say ass!" Blitzø had to step back to laugh.
"I don't remember looking for assistants" Lyle looked suspicious.
"You did. You don't remember 'cus you're old. That's why you need assistants" Loona said.
That actually convinced Lyle to them in.
The old man was on a wheelchair with a controller and an IV. He gave his new assistants a tour of his big laboratory.
"And this is the self cleaning car I built with my old friend Loopty. It's so sad that he passed away before we could show everyone our masterwork" Lyle pretended to whipe a tear.
Loona and the guys exhagerated a look.
"And what exactly is your masterwork, Mr Lipton?" Moxxie asked.
"Oh, it's right over here. Follow me" Lyle drove his chair to a door that allowed access only to him and his deceased friend.
What was behind that door really surprised the I.M.P.
It was a machine connected to a huge cistern, which was full of a yellow liquid.
"Is that pee?" Moxxie gasped.
Lyle removed his catheter and poured it into the cistern.
"I thought he was the one who smelled like pee" Blitzø said.
"We all thought it was him" Moxxie nodded.
"He totally smells like pee" Loona added.
Lyle activated the machine and changes were made to the liquid's chemical component.
After that was done, Lyle put it in a lawn mower and the engine roared as if he used high quality oil.
"Wait a second. You descovered a way to turn pee into an alternative fuel?" Moxxie questioned.
"Precisely!" Lyle exclaimed.
"That's disgusting. . . But also impressive" .
"I knew you'd understand! You look smarter than those two" Lyle made side eyes at Blitzø and Loona.
"Sexist" She said.
"Racist" Blitzø added.
Lyle wanted to show more things to Moxxie.

In the meantime, Millie was sitting at the desk of the waiting room, playing solitarie on the computer.
"This is sooo fucking boring. How does Loona do this every day?" Millie looked through the computer to find something else to do.
She stumbled in a sales website sponsored by Mammon.
"I never understood why some people like online shopping. . . Blitz ordered a plates set with horses on?" Millie looked among the other things on sale and spotted a brand new changing table.
"Uhm, this will definitely come handy when the baby is born" Millie looked around herself and added the changing table to the cart "That's enough. I don't need anything- Hold on!" .
Millie found the album collection of a musician that Moxxie adored, so she decided to add that too. She saw that if she bought something else, she would get a discount.
"Loona deserves a surprise as well" Millie giggled when she heard again the sound of the website's bell.

Moxxie and Lyle Lipton were having the time of their life in the lab.
They cleaned the cistern, took turns tightening bolts and watched the chemicals changing colors inside the vials. All while listening to a happy song.
"Moxxie, you're like the son I've always refused to meet" Lyle patted on his back.
"Thank you, sir" Moxxie smiled.
Loona and Blitzø were eating the snacks they found in vending machine of the lab.
Moxxie went to them with a worried expression on his face.
"Hey, Moxxie. I didn't know what you wanted, so I shot the machine and took everything" Blitzø said.
"Can we kill that smart guy now?" Loona asked.
Moxxie suggested that perhaps they shouldn't kill him.
"Mr Lipton might not be the best guy in the world, but his invention could save millions of lives!" .
"And if I don't eat this sandwich now, maybe an evil dictator will choke on it tomorrow. Come on, Moxxie! We don't get payed to decide who deserves to live or die. We just do what the client wants" Blitzø said.
"Let me take care of this" Loona wanted to kill Lyle.
Blitzø told her not to move, then he passed his gun to Moxxie.
"Do what you think you must. But don't try to call Millie to ask her what to do!" Blitzø continued to eat his sandwich.

Moxxie returned to the room where Lyle kept his precious machine.
"Ah Moxxie, you're here! I think it's time to change the settings of the security system" Lyle changed Loopty's picture with Moxxie's.
"Mr Lipton, what exactly are you going to do with your invention?" He questioned.
"Well, Loopty and I built it to change the world. Imagine to not have to fight each other for every drop of oil because we'll have a source of energy that will never run out. Think about it, Moxxie!" .
Moxxie thought about a beautiful world for the humans.
"Think about. . . All the money that we'll make!" Lyle's tone changed quickly "Yes. There won't not be a single country that won't want to buy my invention. The world will be in the palm of our hands end we'll have everything we want! Power, respect, women! We'll even get to decide who gets to live or die! Hahaha-!" .
A sudden gun shot made Lyle stop laughing.
Moxxie shot him from behind so he wouldn't see that he was about to die. Then the imp locked the door of the lab, to keep the invention hidden to everyone.
Moxxie reunited with Blitzø and Loona. His boss asked if he did his job and he silently nodded.
"Finally we can go home" Loona was the first to cross the portal.
Blitzø had something to tell Moxxie.
"You know, sometimes I think you were born in the wrong world. You have more humanity than a lot of sinners down there" .
"Thank you, Blitz" Moxxie made a genuine smile.

When the guys returned to their office, they didn't expect to find it full of boxes and styrofoam balls.
"Welcome back, y'all!" Millie greeted the rest of the team.
"What's all this stuff?" Blitzø questioned.
"Looks like someone descovered the joy of shopping online. Yes! My proteins!" Loona cheered when she found the powder Millie bought for her.
"You ordered these things with the company's computer!?" Blitzø sounded angry.
"Your plates have arrived" Millie gave him the box and Blitzø immediately forgave her.