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"He's hot." I hear Melissa whisper to another teacher at the table I'm about to sit at.

"Who is?" I ask as I park myself right next to her.

"Tall, dark, and handsome over there," she says as she subtly jerks her head towards the guy who I think is the new gym teacher.

"Yeah, I guess. I mean he teaches gym, so he better be fit," I say raising the corner of my mouth into a smile. This always happens in a school full of women when they sniff out new testosterone. The men instantly become the talk of the building.

"Maybe he's single..." she begins.

"No." I cut her off.

"Look, he's kind of checking you out." She smiles deviously. She does this every time there's a new guy in the building. I know she's bluffing.

"Very funny," I say, squinting my eyes. "You know he's not my type, Mel." She leans in closer to me.

"You dated one teacher. That was one bad experience. That doesn't mean they're all the same." She's probably right, but I just can't. We had a horrible break-up and I'm just not ready to go through all of that again. "You're already twenty-five, imagine getting to thirty and still being single and childless. That's tragic." She says sarcastically, "you can't let those ripe child-bearing years get wasted." I put my head down, pretending to laugh- as if she didn't just spark a terrible memory of that night. I quickly snap myself out of it. I need to pull it together this year. 

"Hey, look," I say gesturing for her to look under the table in which she finds my middle finger flicking her off. She glares at me and turns her attention to the principal who's beginning her usual boring back-to-school stuff. This stuff is so tedious.

I lean back in my chair, hide my hands in my pockets, and get comfortable. This is a three-hour session that will definitely not have anything to do with special education. You know, because it is always on its own island in schools. So, this gives me a good opportunity to space out while the principal talks away.

I begin to think about what Mel said about me needing to get myself back out into the dating world. I decide to quickly glance over at the gym teacher to get a better look at him. I slowly turn my head, but find myself making instant eye-contact with the man. Oh my God. Why would I do that? And why was he looking at me?

"Ada it's so great to have you back this year!" This phrase rips me out from my deep thoughts. Oh that's why he was looking at me, duh. Relax, Ada. "Hopefully no deaths or injuries this year!" Did she seriously just say that? Brandi, the principal, is currently dating my ex, which defaults her to hating me. However, she doesn't have any right to put my personal life on blast.

I can't even get myself to say anything, but I feel my face flush red as I sense all the eyes in the room piercing through me. "Maybe we need to put you in bubble-wrap this year," Brandi jokes and the room emerges in laughter. My heart begins to race. 

Brandi moves on to introduce the new staff members, but I'm not even able to focus. I'm stunned at the nerve she has to bring up my personal emergencies during a whole-staff professional development meeting. Not only did she bring it up, but she turned it into a joke.

My eyes start to water as the memory of that night forces its way into my head again and I quickly get up and walk towards the door. As I open the door, I hear, "And finally, our new gym teacher, Chris Dalton! Please tell us about yourself!" As much as I wanted to hear him give an overview about himself, I'm already leaving the room.

I take a deep breath as soon as I'm in the hallway. I force myself to keep it together until I get to a safe space- my classroom. I have tears filling my eyes and fumble with my key to open the door. Once I'm finally alone within the four walls, I burst into tears as the memories of that night make their way back into my head.

I can still hear the sound of windows shattering, the screams, and the sound of metal smashing as clearly as that night.

I somehow make it to my desk, cover my ears, and sob.

I thought I was ready to move on, but I no longer believe that to be entirely true. I thought I was going to be able to start afresh this school year, but I no longer think that's possible while staying in the same environment. I thought my past relationship was behind me, though I now realize that I am stuck dealing with the consequences for as long as I stay in the same building as him.