Empty

If anyone were to ask me about how my day went, I truly cannot recall anything. Not the students, not the activities, not my lunch, not my prep- nothing. There is only one thing I can accurately recall every single second. Only one interaction with one person. One person who has quickly taken over my entire existence while I am at work. It's wrong, I know it is.

I should not be so intrigued by, so obsessed with, so desperate for anyone other than my woman at home. I know that everything about it is wrong. What is it about Cargo-Pants?

I'm slouched in my desk chair lost in thought about my classroom neighbor as I hear the dismissal bell ring, which brings me back to reality.

I take my empty coffee cup and water bottle and stick them in my backpack. I grab my lunch bag, open the door to the hallway, and exit my office.

I looked to the right in hopes that Cargo-Pants would be making her way to her car, but she wasn't. As I walk slowly past her classroom, I notice the light is still on, which must mean she's still inside.

I continue walking, internally fighting the urge to peak inside. I wonder what could be holding her back?

I turn the corner into the hallway with the extremely social hallway, where I see about three groups of teachers just chatting. Contract hours are over- go home, people.

"Have a good night, CD!" I hear a voice behind me yell. Melissa? I quickly turn around and look at her. I haven't been called that since my army days. How does she know my alias?

"You too," I say slowly. I turn back around and continue walking down the hall.

As I walk I get a "have a good night!" from one group of teachers.

"Have a good one," I reply.

"Oh, what a day," the sing-songy voice chirps, "rest up!"

"You too," I responded. It amazes me how some people can have such uplifting spirits, even after an exhausting day of teaching children in August.

I finally make it out of the congested hallway and am out the door. I casually turn around to check if Cargo-Pants just so happens to be behind me, but she's not. I continue walking to my car, open the side door, throw my bags on the seat, and sink into the driver's seat.

I start my car while glancing at Cargo-Pants' car, which is still unoccupied.

Maybe I should wait for her to make it to her car safely, but that might make me seem creepy. I mean, I'm already the weird guy who keeps following her to her classroom and finding weird excuses to talk to her. I must appear desperate. What is she doing to me? Why do I find her so tempting, when I have such a perfect lady at home?

My stomach suddenly tightens as I remember Melissa this morning. I recall her stopping me to have me send a message to Cargo-Pants. Shit. I realized I never actually told her that Melissa needed to talk to her. Maybe Melissa told her?

My stomach tightens again as I remember Melissa and what she called me as I was leaving the building. She called me CD.

Is she clever enough to come up with that nickname on her own? I mean, they ARE my initials. Maybe? But, she barely knows me. Why would she call me that?

She also said it so casually, as if she's been calling me CD. How?

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I'm overthinking this. It's fine.

I slowly open my eyes and take another look in the direction of Cargo-Pants' car. It's still there, without Cargo-Pants. I sigh. I need to go home. I put the car in "reverse" mode, and turn the wheel as I pull out of the parking spot. I stare at the building doors, hoping I'd see someone leave. Nothing. I shift the car in "drive" and slowly drive towards the exit.