Empty

"Arturo, I swear to God, you need to leave me alone," I warn him as he's standing in front of my classroom door. I've had a long and tiring day, and here is this annoying human being, well, his annoying self.

"You better give me that fucking ring back," he warns, "I don't understanding what's taking so long?" Well, what had happened was: I sold that piece of crap.

"No," I argue, "because you don't just give someone a gift and demand it back. That's not how it works."

"We called off the engagement, why the hell do you need that thing if we're not engaged anymore?" 'Cause ya girl is broke and needs the money more than your ugly-ass rock. I never even liked the pear shape.

"I have my reasons," I say, "now leave me alone about this."

Arturo runs his hand through his hair as he sighs.

"Ada," his voice is calmer now, "I don't know what you're trying to hold onto, but you and I are done."

"I know that," I say, "but you're still not getting the ring back."

"God, do you seriously think I'll ever go back to you?" My heart drops when I hear the condescending tone in his voice. "If you genuinely think I want you, you're so wrong. You silly little girl." He is such an asshole.

He lets out a chuckle. "You know, you're just as dumb as-"

"Get out," I say sternly, "and don't you dare finish that sentence." I begin shaking. He smiles. He's fucking smiling. My fists clench.

"You're a sad girl," he says, "I can't believe I wasted my time on you." I feel my eyes begin to water, but I do my best to hold them back.

"Seriously, what are you doing with your life?" He continues. "You're 25, living with your parents having no ambition. You have zero plans to ever move out of their house, which you claim is to take care of them, but the truth? You have no purpose. You're afraid to be alone."

I stand there just listening to him ramble about how much of a low-life I am.

"You're a nobody who's going nowhere in life. You teach special ed because you can't comprehend anything else more complicated than the alphabet and simple addition."

He pauses and stares at me. "Well? Do you hear me?" He expects me to answer. What exactly am I supposed to say to all of this?

I don't say anything. I pick up my things and walk to the door. It's not worth my energy nor am I physically able to spit out any words right now. I'm pissed and I need to just leave before he makes me punch his face and get fired. The last thing I need is to risk my job over this nonsense.

"You're walking away? Are you fucking kidding?" He scoffs.

As I open the door I feel his hand tightly grip around my arm and pull me back. "You better give me the fucking ring," he mutters through his teeth. He releases me and I walk out of the classroom immediately.

I speed walk down my hallway, make a left, zoom down the hallway that leads me to the parking lot. Once I'm in my car, I lock the doors, turn the car on, and drive away from this place as quickly as possible.

I fight back these tears as much as I can, but I just can't stop them. I keep telling myself he's wrong and that he's the last person I should listen to, but I can't help it. He's right. I don't plan on leaving my parents, I am afraid of being alone, but I do have a purpose. I know I do.

I cry even more as I realize how stupid I was to love someone like him in the first place. I'm ashamed to admit it, but a part of me still loves him. A part of me just can't get over him. He's forever scarred me, so that piece of him will forever live inside me.

He was my first everything: first boyfriend, first love, first sex, first fiance, first breakup, first heartbreak, first enemy. He was my first and my only.

How am I supposed to ever date if the only person I'd ever given my heart to, tore it apart this bad. How am I supposed to trust again? How am I supposed to love someone again? Can a broken heart even be fixed?

As I drive, I think of Chris. Chris seems like a good man. A good man, who I undeniably am attracted to. A man who I see potential with, but one who I won't let in. I can't let him in.

I can't let anyone in. I just can't.