Empty

Feeling his breath on my neck sends goosebumps all around my body. My heart is racing, but somehow I'm able to keep my head clear. I can see through his little game despite him thinking he's Shakepeare when spitting his meaningless metaphors. He's trying to play me and I decide it's only appropriate for me to play along.

He moves his face so that it is now looking down at mine. He grabs my hand to gently place the rose into my palm and uses his large hands to fold my fingers around the stem of the rose. I look down at the rose and back up at him. I can't help but wonder how many girls have gone through this sick game of his and how many hearts were broken as a result. I'm not going to be another body in his count.

I lock eyes with him and vehemently grab his face and pull it down to mine to which he responds with instantly grabbing my waist and pulling me even closer to him. Our lips instantly meet one another and quickly let in our tongues. His kiss was not what I expected it to be. His kiss was fiery and intense and while I know he's viewing me as another conquest in his book of hearts, his kiss was warm. If I didn't know better, his kiss could actually fool me into believing that I actually mean something to him.

We finally pull away from one another. I keep my eyes locked on his, slowly backing away from him. Without looking away, I hold up the rose and drop it. "Go to hell," I say.

I don't let myself watch his reaction as I walk as quickly as I can back to my car. Once I'm in my car, I look up, expecting him to emerge from behind the gate, but he doesn't. I put the car in reverse and back out of the driveway and made my way back home.

. . .

I come home to my dad sitting at the kitchen table doing another one of his word search puzzles. He looks up at me to acknowledge my presence.

"Hi," I say.

"Hi," he says looking down at his puzzle. "There's a piece of meatloaf in the fridge for you. Make sure you eat it. Can't throw anything away."

"I'm not hungry right now." The idea of food right now makes me want to vomit.

"You have to eat it," my dad insists, "I'll heat it up for you."

I shake my head aggressively, "no, no I promise I'll eat it later."

I quickly run to my room, reaching into my purse, but stop midway when I realize I'm missing my phone. No, oh no. I run back into the kitchen, frantically checking the kitchen table. My dad notices my scrambling and asks, "what are you looking for?"

"My phone. Can you call it?" I ask.

He slowly opens his phone and lets it ring. Shit. It must've fallen out somewhere.

"I'll be back, I think I know where I left it." I say quickly as I run to my car, checking under the driver and passenger seats, but it wasn't there.

It suddenly dawned upon me that it might've fallen out when I was with him.

"SHIT!" I yell to myself, getting into the driver's seat, smacking the steering wheel. Are you kidding me? I immediately start the engine and make the drive back to his mom's house. My heart races when I think about having to face him again. I'm so fucking mad at him and am feeling too heated to be able to maturely look at him without losing it.

Maybe he will be gone by then? Luckily we stayed on the patio, so I can just sneak into the back and grab it. What will he do if he sees me?

I suddenly regret not letting myself enjoy his reaction to me dropping the rose in front of him. A player getting played is something that always brings satisfaction, but I was too heated in the moment to think about spending another second looking at his pathetic face.

I turn onto the street where his mom's house is located, and my stomach churns at the thought of having to see him. I spot his car in the driveway as I pull into it. I start preparing what I'm going to say to him when he sees me. I'm getting ready to throw some "screw you"'s and some more "go to hell"'s at him.

I turn the engine off, unsure how long it will take me to get in and out of the patio. This could either be the quickest interaction, or one that becomes impossible to leave. I gently close my car door and lock it. I slowly walk to the side of the house, taking a long deep breath before opening the gate.

Once I open the gate, pausing to see if he comes out, but he doesn't. Ok, maybe he went inside? I quickly walk around to the back patio and let out a sigh of relief when I don't find him there. I spot my phone on the chair I was sitting on and run to grab it. Thank goodness. Once I have my phone in hand, I turn around and get ready to run, but jump when I hear a scream coming from inside.

The scream is followed by sounds of things being thrown and smashed. What's going on in there? Part of me thinks I need to mind my own business and get the hell out of here before he spots me, but the other part of me wants to know what on earth is happening in there.

There's a window above the patio. I pull one of the chairs to the window, stand on it, and peer through what seems to be the kitchen. I watch him aggressively open cabinets, slamming them, and spilling their contents on the floor when he doesn't see the thing he's looking for. I watch him scrambling as he is looking for something. I catch a momentary glimpse of his face and my heart drops.

He's crying.