"give me a damn reason why I should go about my way, to be with you." a street racer named sim jaeyun vexs a woman into her wits but things doesn't go as he planned...
STREET RACING AU
#series(2023)
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i jumped into my bed and pulled the sheets over me the moment i reached home from the trip.
flashbacks of the night we got chased down by the officers seeped into my head leading me to groan out of exasperation.
FLASBACK
"give me a reason why i would go about my way and be with you?"
the male stood in silence unable to come up with a response.
he trailed his eyes to the ground, biting the inside of his cheeks from humiliation and frustration.
"so you seriously mean to tell me you feel nothing? tell me cho, what are you afraid of?" his voice hostile, and i clenched my jaw to his words.
"don't." i seethed, my expression darkened and he scoffed.
"are you afraid of opening up or are you afraid... of being loved?" he poses the question that i wish he hadn't and my heart crumbled.
i gulped, breaking the strong eye contact we were holding. "it's not the person i am jaeyun, I can't express myself the way you want me to, you're only an asshole if you think i could ever reciprocate the feelings you have for me, back." I spat harshly.
"you're confused jaeyun." i say and his expression went dull.
"i'm not fucking confused seoyun, what you seriously think i don't know I feel?" he snarls and my lips tightened, not wanting to argue any further it.
i began to walk away from him and turned around one last time, "get the fuck over it jake." i called him by the name i usually wouldn't and he remained there with sorrow clouding over his face.
i pushed him away because truthfully, i was afraid and i didn't want to admit it.
that's where the conversation ended, and he ended up switching rooms after that.
END OF FLASHBACK
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i dressed up in flowy clothes, i thought i could pay a visit to father.
when i made it to the cemetery i placed a beautiful singular flower on his grave, one that had a honey like scent, something he'd like.
i sat down next to the gravestone and my arms embraced my knees and my head rested on the gravestone.
"you probably haven't been expecting these regular visits since you told me to just live life." my voice soft.
"you told me not to cry on your grave so i didn't."
"did you face these problems with mom, is the reason she left because you were unable to express love?"
"even if you had an avoidant demeanor how did you manage to see past it and marry mom, I kind of wish you were here so you could give me this advice." i sighed heavily.
"because im lost in life, i push people away when i truly like them and i know I'm the problem."
"I don't know what to do with my life anymore, why am i think this?"
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jaeyun heard the last sentence from the front of the cemetery, as he was passing by. Usually he'd walk in or wait for her to come out.
but this time he just walked past, letting her be alone with the gravestone. He took his last glance, observing her fingers caressing the gravestone.
