The Lazarus Effect

Youth- Daughter

Ilya:

"I was going on sixteen," I said finishing the story of when mom and I were trapped in her office back when Cupid had become obsessed with the Arrow. "I remember feeling utterly powerless when I saw my mom go down like that. So, I started with self-defense and from there it escalated to Judo and Brazilian Jujitsu. My mom and Thea went to all my tournaments. I have some medals.

"The tech stuff was always something I was interested in. I was interning at Queen Consolidated before it was Palmer Tech. I actually wasn't supposed to touch any of their tech but I couldn't help it. It was just right there and I have zero self-control. 

"I started small hacking into the servers of people in my building and that's when I accidentally got into something I wasn't supposed to get into. A file named task force X. It belonged to Lyla Michaels. John Diggle's wife who at the time was Amanda Waller's best operative. They followed me for a while and when they tried to apprehend me. I got away twice. Amanda gave me a job when they finally did corner me.

"My classes were replaced with more advanced ones. A guy named Cooper Sheldon replaced my personal tutor. He taught me a lot about computers and how the cyber world works. He went rogue later and just disappeared. Amanda liked that I wasn't very social and that I hardly ever questioned my orders. It never dawned on me that someone who worked to make the world better would ever give me an order that was wrong.

"At first, I did it because I never wanted to feel helpless again but then I got really caught up in the power. It didn't even help in the end. I still wasn't able to save her. I feel like I did three years ago. Helpless and now kind of useless,"

"You're nineteen," he said. "You've come across something most people can't even imagine exists. You've learned a lot about yourself in a short amount of time. Even now, you're fighting what's inside of you and you're still standing here knowing right from wrong. How many people give into their darkness without remorse? Lots of people lack the courage and power to fight against something that makes them feel invincible,"

"It doesn't make me feel invincible. It made me feel powerful. Like somehow I was better than all of them. I was just as bad if not worse,"

"You have a strong will. You get that from your mother," he said as I reached for some wiring cables. "I think we have all this stuff at home,"

"I like my own stash. Makes me feel better to know I have what I need,"

"I want to talk to you about Jason," I sighed looking up at him.

"What about Jason?"

"Jason isn't the kind of guy that just goes around being nice to people. To anyone, not even his brothers or friends. I doubt he even considers anyone a friend,"

"Everyone has their own definition of nice," I said remembering how I felt earlier.

"Was he rude to you?" he asked confused reaching for the silver metal coils I had written down on my list.

"Not directly, he just told me a few things I already knew. Look, Bruce. The last thing I want to do is get between you and your son. I'm new here. I'm not exactly good at fitting in anywhere. I stand out wherever I go. My mom used to tell me I got it from my father and now I know it's kind of true and I admire that you made your own place to fit in. It's kind of ironic, I think,"

"What is?"

"That Bruce Wayne stands out in a crowd of hundreds but the other guy can be standing right in front of someone without them even knowing. That was another thing I liked about the hound. No one glances in her direction. Not like they do for me,"