The Lazarus Effect

Breaking Benjamin- Failure (Check this fan art out. I love it)

Jason:

She had been gone for a few weeks now. Bruce had told me to drop it. That she would come back when she was ready. Whatever had gone down between them had probably fucked them both up pretty bad. I didn't argue with him about it. It didn't stop me from having Red check in on her here and there with no avail. Ilya had made sure our Ai-s couldn't reach Apollo. All I have to show for is this fucking letter.

Jay,

I really don't know what to say to you. I know that if I confronted you face to face. I wouldn't do what I need to do. I don't know if I'm ever going to come back. All I know is that right now, I can't be here.

It has nothing to do with Bruce or you. This is on me. I thought I could just go back and do what she had wanted me to do but we both know there is no going back. I need to find out what really happened to me.

You might not believe me right now because you're probably angry with me. I've never connected with anyone like I did with you. There was never an attraction that caught my eye quite like you have. You've left a humming in my body, one that will probably never go away.

Please, don't look for me. I deactivated the tracker you put on my necklace. I promised I'd never take it off and I never will. Thank you, Jason. For everything. You once told me the worst book you had ever read was Romeo and Juliet. There's one quote that I think is fitting for us.

These Violent Delights have violent ends. And in their triumph die, like fire and powder which as they kiss consume.

I'd be the fire to your powder any day. Try not to give the old man a hard time. Stop bullying my brother and please get Roy to get some real headgear. Running around with a fucking baseball cap is reckless and it's going to get him killed. Catch you on the flips side thunder thighs. Keep those tight for me.

Princess, I might have died in an explosion, Ilyasviel Wayne.

I've read the piece of paper every night. It both pisses me off and makes me laugh all in one. I had finally worked up the courage to wear the t-shirt she had gotten me. It says WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU DISAPPOINTS ME in big red letters. I fucking miss her. Her scent lingers in my pillows from when she stayed with me and Roy.

Dick had called me in earlier today. I had told him to go fuck himself but I couldn't not show up. I haven't had anything to do since the Joker had taken upon himself to fuck everything in Gotham up again. Somehow, the little fuck just slips through our fingers every time we come across him. It's just Bruce and me out there. Tim had gone back to California and Damian had gone with him for spring break.

"I found her," Bruce said as soon as I approached him. No Dick in sight. Figures.

"You found her?" I asked. He turned his chair over to face me. "I thought you told me to drop it,"

"She has to be somewhere," he said facing the monitor again. I looked up at the feed on the computer to see a sketchy picture of a girl that resembles Ilya.

"That's not her," I said that girl does not do Ilya's body any justice. "Bruce, we both know where she is,"

"I don't want to believe that," he said with a sigh.

"Where else would she have gone? She has a lot of questions we can't answer for her. Let her figure things out and she'll come back. Isn't that what you said when I first found out she was gone?"

"Tell me something," he said looking over at me. "Do you love her?"

"Bruce," I sighed.

"I need to hear you say it out loud," I looked over at him leaning on the key table. There's a desperation in his eyes. He seems almost lost. He looks how I feel. Torn apart and miserable.

"I do love her. I don't know how it happened or why it was her. I wish it wasn't. I don't want to love her. Just like you wish you hadn't met her. She doesn't need to be rescued or whatever it is you think you're going to do when you get to her. She doesn't need us in her life. We're toxic. You need to let her live her life. If for whatever reason she comes back, then show her how much she means to you. You wanted to push her away and now she's gone,"

"Why does it feel so wrong?" he asked his fist pounding on the table. I understood what he meant. It feels wrong not having her here to give us both shit. To drive us crazy. To look at us with those big beautiful blue eyes.

"I don't know," I sighed crossing my arms.

"What if she needs us?"

"She'll let us know if she does," I promised remembering the tracker bit in her letter. I pushed off the table and began to make my way towards the house. "You know this is the first time we've talked without fighting,"

"I'm tired. I figured if there's anyone who'd understand that it would be you,"

I looked back at him. His head hung. One of his arms sat on the armrest while the other one stretched over the keyboards like he was thinking of what to do next. I hadn't seen him like this since I was a kid.

"I'll see you later, old man. She'll be back. She knows who you are now. It's hard to forget where you come from,"

"Master Jason. Will you be staying with us?" Alfred asked coming down the stairs.

"Sure, I'll be in my room," I said walking past him.

I was about to push my door open but it got the better of me. I opened the door to her room and turned the lights on. The only thing missing here is the mask that used to sit on one of the black rubber mannequin heads. I sat at her desk and pressed the keyboard to her desktop.

"Password," the animated voice said out loud.

"Batman sucks," I said playfully.

"Access granted. Welcome back Ilyasviel,"

I looked around shocked before letting a laugh out. Her fucking password is Batman sucks. I leaned forward moving the mouse around. A file popped up labeled Wayne Manor. I clicked on some of them to see they were surveillance footage from the last days she was here. Her face popped up when I clicked the last one. God, I really, really miss this girl. What have you done to me? Ruined me that's what.

"If someone is watching this. I'm in trouble. I don't remember much from these past few days," my heartbeat began to pound in my chest. She lifted her hair exposing the scar from the shotgun blow she had received when she was kidnapped. "You see this? The healing process is allowing her to take control. I don't know how to explain it other than a split. I can't fix it without killing myself.

"Whatever the pit did to me and what it's doing now caused the shadow version take over. It feels like I go to sleep for a long time and when I come around she's there. This is a neuro scan of my head from the hospital," A digital scan of her brain came up on the screen. "I took it. Or rather she took it. The last thing I remember is fighting with Bruce after waking up. I was in the bathroom and she showed up.

"If I'm right, three days after I leave, I'm going to steal Ras Al' Ghul's body from an A.R.G.U.S facility in Shannan, Tibet. There are so many things that can go wrong in his resurrection. The ritual to bring him back requires a sacrifice. A soul for a soul. It's going to take me four weeks to prepare what I need to bring him back.

"It's fixable. Bruce, the wound in my head needs to be reopened and you have to remove the metal shard embedded in my head. Someone, anyone. Please help me. I don't have mu.." she stopped talking her eyes went blank before she blinked and looked around confused. She reached for the monitor and shut it off.

"Bruce," I shouted. "Bruce get your ass up here,"

"Master Jason, what are you doing in here?" Alfred asked.

"Get Bruce. Ilya is in deep shit. We have to stop her,"