The Lazarus Effect

Fifteen

"For now. This is all new to you but it'll get better and you won't need me then. I promise," she nodded letting out a heavy sigh. "I can't believe that was your first kiss,"

"Shut up," she playfully shoved me.

"How is that even possible? Look at you,"

"I don't like people, even before the pit. The thought of it repulsed me,"

"You're not attracted to anyone? Like at all?" she shook her head.

"Never and I think it was mutual to them. I was always taller than most of the boys. I was always better at sports. I corrected the way they would speak. I hate people who chew gum which is basically everyone. People who dress like slobs. Hygiene is my biggest pet peeve and all adolescent boys smell disgusting. Except for Damian,"

"Wow, okay," I said sitting next to her. "That makes complete sense. You're A-Sexual,"

"What? No, I'm not. I just have very high standards,"

"Have you ever met anyone you were attracted to?"

"Yes," she nodded. "But he's in love with his best friend who is completely clueless about his feelings. We went to school together. He was older so he probably just saw me as a little sister,"

"Did you ever tell him?" she shook her head.

"I didn't want to be second best to anyone and I was still technically a minor when I figured it out,"

"Well, his loss. I don't know him do I?"

"I doubt it. He's from Central City,"

"I feel like I have to keep apologizing,"

She stood up looking down at me and smirked. For a second, I thought she was going to hug me. I started to mentally prepare myself for it when leaned in and pressed her lips to mine. I hadn't expected it but I responded immediately. I couldn't help it. I gripped her thighs and pulled her up settling her on my lap. My hands moved of their own accord. One sliding under her shirt and the other in her hair holding her to me. She pulled away much too soon for me. She didn't move just pressed her forehead against mine breathing just as heavily as I am.

"Now we're even," she whispered.

"I'm not good, Ilya," I whispered. She chuckled making me look up at her.

"It's okay. I'm not good either. I'm just as screwed as you are," She pulled the band holding her hair up letting her waves come apart. Before I could ask what she was doing she pulled a piece of silver hair hidden in her thick dark hair. I looked up at her worriedly knowing what she must be thinking. "Jason, I think I died,"

"Why would you think that?" she wrapped her arms around me as I prayed for it not to be true.

"I keep thinking about it. Why would she make me go in there? I wasn't that badly hurt. I felt fine. A little weak but that was it. What if I died when Waller tried to kill me?" I shook my head.

"No, this is going to wear off. You're going to be fine," she climbed off letting me go.

"I don't think it is. It would have gone away by now. I've been away from it for weeks now," she pulled her hair back and began to tie it. "I don't care about what you've done, Jason. I am in no position to judge your decisions. I didn't have an excuse to do what I did. I did it because I wanted to. It didn't matter if they were guilty or innocent. Amanda snapped her fingers and I did it. I hadn't gone in the pit yet,"

"I tried to kill Bruce," I admitted. "I tried to kill my brothers. I almost succeeded in killing Tim and Damian. I hated all of them. It wasn't an accident. I was killed by the Joker when I was fifteen years old. The only thing that had kept me going was the thought of Bruce coming for me but he never did. I needed him and he never came. I didn't want to control this. I wanted it to consume me so I could kill them all,"

"I just contemplated killing a house filled with sorority girls. I wanted to kill my best friend at my mother's wake. I wanted to kill Bruce as well because I had told him I didn't want that damn party," I stood up taking her hand.

"I contemplating killing a house filled with sorority girls too," I lied. I did contemplate doing something to them though.

"No, you didn't. You want me to be a sorority girl to fulfill some kind of weird fantasy you made up the moment you found out that girl wasn't there to kill me," I burst out laughing.

"I am not going to confirm nor deny that," she rolled her eyes. "So what now?"

"We're even now. Stop acting like you fucked up my life or like you're going to. Whatever happens next happens," 

"That sounds good,"

"Want to help me make Bruce feel old?" that made me smile.

"Hell, yeah," I pulled the door open to see Bruce on the other side of the door with his hand like he was about to knock. "We made up. I'm sorry I kissed your daughter. We're over it. None of us are going to bring it up ever again,"

"Okay," he nodded looking us over. He was surprised for a second. "Ilya?"

"Are you going to let me take a look at your Bat-tech?" he sighed heavily.

"Yes, I am," she smiled and practically jumped into his arms. He caught her easily steadying her before she rushed into her room across the way. "When she's in here, keep the door open. The same thing goes for her door or any room the two of you are alone in. Do you understand?"

"Whatever," I shrugged. He glared at me watching me cross the hallway into her room.