how am i? (1)

So, today I actually started to feel a lot better. I actually feel perfectly fine for the first time in almost 2 weeks. It's a great feeling.

What Do I Want To Be?

This is a question I ask my self way to often. It's probably not good for my mental health to ask myself this question so much, because I literally get extremely upset and angry every time I think about it. I have no clue what I want to be when I grow up. Not a clue. I mean, I have a few things I think I would enjoy that I'm going to talk about, but I don't know what I want to be and it stresses me out way more than it should.
1-An Engineer
So I don't really know where this came from. I think it may have been all of the HGTV shows that I would watch, but the idea of being an engineer always sounded cool, because I would get to build and create things. Now, I have no idea what type of engineer I would be, but it sounded cool and still does. An extra plus is that a big school in the state has an amazing engineering program that they are literally famous for, so I would definitely get a good education if I went there. However, becoming an engineer requires a lot of math and science. I hate math. That seems like a problem, because I think I would have to not despise math as much as I do to do those insanely difficult classes for four years or maybe even more. It just seems like a lot.
2-A Veterinarian
So, I love animals. A lot. I mean, it's beyond love at this point. I have an obsession with any animal I see. It's truly love at first sight. So, becoming a Vet has always seemed very fun and very fit for me. However, there aren't any schools in the state that have Veterinary courses, which would mean I definitely would have to go to school out of state. That would mean being far away from family and basically my entire life, which I wouldn't hate, it's just a factor. I mean, my dream school is outside of San Francisco. I'm not against leaving the state at all, but I don't know if I would feel the same when I'm older. Plus, Vet school is very expensive and takes a long time to go to school for, which I've never liked the idea of.
3-A Therapist
So, I love helping people and I love getting to listen to and help my friends with their problems. I genuinely enjoy giving advice to them and uh it just is so amazing to do. That makes me think that I would like being a therapist. I have and still do very much struggle with depression and social anxiety and I'm a mess, so the idea of helping people with those same struggles is amazing to me. I think doing this job could genuinely help so many lives and I could genuinely enjoy what I do. I can't currently think of any downsides to this job, so yeah.
4- A Lawyer
I come from a long line of lawyers. My mom is a lawyer, her grandpas are both lawyers, their dads are both lawyers. It goes back generations. I've always thought that I didn't want to be a lawyer, because I didn't want to be like my mom, but my mom is the best, so genuinely, there is nothing wrong with becoming a lawyer. Plus, I think I would love it, because I love shows and documentaries about court cases (mostly criminal) and I always thought I would love to be a part of that. So, I think I would love being a lawyer. But, I didn't enjoy civics this past year, and it's a lot of school. Again, you have to go to school for another four years to become a lawyer, so that's a lot. It's also very expensive and I don't know if I would have the money for that.
5- A Journalist
So, this one is weird, but I've strangely always wanted to be a journalist that writes reviews of things like tv shows/movies/video games/books/whatever really or writes the news. I don't know why I always thought that would be cool, but I do. I could also pursue being an author on the side as well, which would be awesome.
6- The Dreams
This is the category for those dreams, but the extremely unrealistic ones that I most likely won't pursue. I'm just gonna list them, since I don't even know if I'll pursue them and I most likely won't. 1) an author 2) an astronaut 3) a professional soccer player 4) a musician 5) a songwriter 6) a tv and movie director 7) a graphic designer (yes I know I could pursue this one, but I can't draw at all, so it goes in this category) 8) an animator (same thing applies).
So yeah, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. If you have any insight, please comment it, but ugh, I keep thinking about it today, so I figured I should write about it.

Random Points

I haven't eaten anything but chicken potatoes or bread in the past 4 days and I need actually food, but strangely I'm craving Chick-fil-A.

I wonder how many pounds I lost (but won't get to keep off because that's literally impossible because nobody ever keeps off the pounds from being sick) from this stomach bug thing.

I'm questioning if I still want to play soccer. I don't know why, but I'm questioning it.

Daily Overview

8/10

I wasn't sick today, so everything was better.

Bye <3